Metcalfe123

I asked my AH to leave 2 weeks ago in the middle of a binge. He left and was/is staying at his mothers. I have pleaded and begged for him to get help and for us to work on our marriage of 12 years (together 22). I thought I was getting somewhere but this past weekend He shut of his phone (using) and ignored me. I know I’m an codependent and my pleading is useless. It’s been really hard letting go. I just can’t get past that this is him. We’ve had so many great years. It’s devasting!

I really do appreciate this forum and that I’m able to vent and connect with people that are going through similar situations.

Seren

Sometimes, those things that hurt the most are for our own good in the long run. A beloved former member here used to call these times "strangely wrapped gifts". I am so sorry, though, for the pain you are in. In time, I promise, it will get better.

Strawbz11

I got into a relationship for 18 months with a man 2 months sober at the time. He was working. Running a rented flat fine on his own. I knew it wouldn't be perfect. But let me tell you this. Without alcohol in his system he was horrible. He was horrible after 6 months. Horrible after a year. Horrible after 18 months. I couldnt take anymore. People only change when they choose to. They also only change if they do the emotional and mental work aswel as quit. My ex was a cheat. He was a liar. He was angry. He was stuck in the past. He was depressed. He was useless at paying bills. He didn't eat properly. He was 49 and smoking weed and his quaintances were as young as 18. He was always falling out with family. In conflicts at work. He had no sex drive. He never was just happy and laughing. He was a victim of life. He complained about everyone. He was trying to sleep with his families exes so he could get revenge. He then hit on one of my acquaintances when we split who gave him her attention and ofclurse that made him happy. He loves hurting me. I gave him 6 grand in 8 months and he have me back 2.5 grand. The rest no chance. He's scammed me. He spreads lies about me.. he is hopping around fb re adding women he deleted before. He's a mess. A narcissistic mess.

That's a sober alcoholic. Your guy may never be the man you want him to be. Trust me i was patient. Their personalities don't change unless they choose to change and work hard.