Ten years ago
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Ten years ago
I made it ten years! Not a drop. I still vividly remember the day I found this place. This place saved my life. Whenever I talk about my alcoholic drinking, I always tell how I got sober reading and posting on Soberrecovery. I spent my first 2 weeks in a bathrobe, sitting at my desk in the dining room, glued to my computer. I made friends here that I would never meet in person yet they spoke to my heart. To this day I say out loud, " I will never drink again." Sometimes, I feel The Monster inside of me cringe. Sometimes The Monster speaks to me and asks," Really?".
I haven't had a lot of temptation until this summer. I am puzzled by it. I wonder if it's because I am subconsciously attempting to sabotage my 10 years of sobriety. Like I don't deserve to be proud of myself. I am under a lot of stress with my business. I catch myself in moments of anxiety thinking about the "feeling of non-feeling", (numbness) I get from drinking. Ten years is a long time...what if I'm cured? I know it's total ********.
I learned from spending so much time here 10 years ago that there is no cure that allows for indulgence in the thing that nearly killed me. Maintaining a mature and responsible attitude is the only way to live. With Freedom comes Responsibilty.
Thank you wonderful soberrecovery! This community saved my life.
I haven't had a lot of temptation until this summer. I am puzzled by it. I wonder if it's because I am subconsciously attempting to sabotage my 10 years of sobriety. Like I don't deserve to be proud of myself. I am under a lot of stress with my business. I catch myself in moments of anxiety thinking about the "feeling of non-feeling", (numbness) I get from drinking. Ten years is a long time...what if I'm cured? I know it's total ********.
I learned from spending so much time here 10 years ago that there is no cure that allows for indulgence in the thing that nearly killed me. Maintaining a mature and responsible attitude is the only way to live. With Freedom comes Responsibilty.
Thank you wonderful soberrecovery! This community saved my life.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,927
Congratulations on 10 years! 
That stupid addictive voice rarely ever goes away completely. It might stay locked away for several years, but you can count on it to keep trying, no matter how long you maintain sobriety. It still tries to trip me up occasionally and I hit 14 years back in June. It's good that we recognize it for what it is...a liar!
That stupid addictive voice rarely ever goes away completely. It might stay locked away for several years, but you can count on it to keep trying, no matter how long you maintain sobriety. It still tries to trip me up occasionally and I hit 14 years back in June. It's good that we recognize it for what it is...a liar!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Congratulations, Escapist!
So glad to see you, my Sober Twin!
"I made friends here that I would never meet in person yet they spoke to my heart."
Exactly!
You absolutely, unconditionally, totally deserve to be proud of yourself!
We both know that AV is a master of inventing all kinds of BS.
But you kicked its a$$. Ten years is yours.
Here's a delicious cup of coffee to another ten years and more!
So glad to see you, my Sober Twin!
"I made friends here that I would never meet in person yet they spoke to my heart."
Exactly!
You absolutely, unconditionally, totally deserve to be proud of yourself!
We both know that AV is a master of inventing all kinds of BS.
But you kicked its a$$. Ten years is yours.
Here's a delicious cup of coffee to another ten years and more!
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Congratulations on your ten years. Sobriety must be protected at all costs, it is so hard-won, we can never lose The AV will always try and sneak in - it sounds like you already recognise it for what it is.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,982
Big Congrats Escapist. "With freedom comes responsibility." Yes, there is no 'cure'. Sustained remission is what we all strive for.
A quote from my beloved comic is appropriate.
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
― George Carlin
A quote from my beloved comic is appropriate.
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
― George Carlin
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Congratulations on a decade of sobriety, escapist. As a newly sober person, I just wanted to thank you for the inspiration and hope. It's kind and considerate of you to think of us "little people" and post in the newcomers forum, being an old pro and all.
If I may ask, what else, other than coming here, did you do to free yourself?
If I may ask, what else, other than coming here, did you do to free yourself?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,172
You are right in reminding yourself that 10 years is not a cure. Alcoholism is a life sentence. The best we can do is not take the drink that rekindles that addiction cycle. Our addiction will always be with us, all we can do is make the effort to stay out of the cycle.
As for thinking you don't deserve to feel proud of yourself, that is pure AV talk. Yes your AV can activate any time, even after 10 years. I've thought about these later year relapses quite a bit. I can only come up with one explanation (not that there are not other explanations that I just can't imagine), but my only explanation is a desire to self destruct, to unconsciously try to ruin our own lives. Of course I don't know why we would want to do that. Maybe we do it to punish ourselves for some imagined failure, or maybe because we hate ourselves, or something else. But self destruction is the only motivation that makes sense to me.
Good to have you back. I hope we help stop this nonsense right in it's tracks.
As for thinking you don't deserve to feel proud of yourself, that is pure AV talk. Yes your AV can activate any time, even after 10 years. I've thought about these later year relapses quite a bit. I can only come up with one explanation (not that there are not other explanations that I just can't imagine), but my only explanation is a desire to self destruct, to unconsciously try to ruin our own lives. Of course I don't know why we would want to do that. Maybe we do it to punish ourselves for some imagined failure, or maybe because we hate ourselves, or something else. But self destruction is the only motivation that makes sense to me.
Good to have you back. I hope we help stop this nonsense right in it's tracks.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
It's Interesting. I just thanked someone who replied to something I wrote 10 years ago (almost to the day) just seconds before I pulled up this thread. I had never seen that post. Now I find myself wondering about this coincidence (synchronicity?).
In light of this, the best thing to do seems to be to pass along the name of that single best piece of recovery literature I have ever seen (which was the subject of that 10 year old exchange). It does not now seem to be a coincidence at all given the name of the book
. Sorry if all this seems vague.
All the best to you. Congrats on 10
The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning
By Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham
In light of this, the best thing to do seems to be to pass along the name of that single best piece of recovery literature I have ever seen (which was the subject of that 10 year old exchange). It does not now seem to be a coincidence at all given the name of the book
. Sorry if all this seems vague. All the best to you. Congrats on 10
The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning
By Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham
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