dustyfox

This is the second time this has happened to me. And it makes me so grateful to be alive and here to write it.

Tonight there was a man lying on the pavement near our house. He was dishevelled, smelt very bad, had cuts on his face and a hospital tag on his wrist, a bottle of whisky by his side. He was in his 60's. We managed to sit him up and it was clear he was very drunk.

He had p***ed himself and soiled his pants. Anyway, we managed to get his name and establish that he had self-discharged hospital ( which is not far from us) because he wanted a drink, whish he had stolen from a supermarket.

The guy was clearly an alcoholic. A man who had drunk his life away for a reason only known to himself. I called social services who knew him and confirmed he was an alcoholic and very ill, they said they could not help.

This man had sunk about as low as it's possible to get and now reliant upon a couple of passers-by, me and my husband to help. Yet still he sat on the curb swigging back the whisky, his own pee running down onto the pavement, his skin blotchy and puffy, his body failing. He rambled on about the kind of cr** drunks ramble about, all the time eyeing his whisky in case someone took it from him.

Years ago I expect he had some hope for his life, some dreams, and some people that cared about him, maybe he tried to get clean, maybe he didn't, but looking at him I honestly couldn't see how he would ever get free from his addiction.
I called 999 and an ambulance eventually and reluctantly arrived. The ambulance guy knew him and was really kind and helped him into the back of the ambulance, to take him back to his hostel where he will probably drink as much as he can get hold of. He will probably never remember me or my husband or the cup of tea I gave him or the cr** he talked about or, the young couple with a baby who stopped to offer help. He looked like hell and smelt worse.

This guy will probably be dead within months. Like I said this is the second drunk I have found on the pavement in less than year, and I take it as a message from the universe to me and to anyone reading, that alcohol is poison and drags the very life from people, not just their life but every hope they ever had. Stay sober people and pray for those that want to be.

ImNotThatGuy

Powerful. When I see that sort of thing, I always wonder about the person's story. How similar is it to my own up to the current chapter? Thank you.

Dee74

That could have well been me. I hope he finds his way.

D

Zencat

Too many times that plays out where someone looks to abandon all hope, wither and die by way of the bottle.

mns1

This is so sad. And a sobering (no pun intended) reminder of what can happen. Thanks for posting dustyfox

Khorhey

Saw this young disheveled man at the gas station a couple weeks ago. He had a cheap kids guitar with broken strings. Asked him what he wanted inside and he wanted the 24 ounce 9 percent stuff.

Bought him one and started to talk. He is 25 years old and an alcoholic. 20 plus units day. I told him hey you are a good looking man. You have your whole life in front of you. Why do you want to do this to yourself. We talked for a bit more and I drove him home.

Bought him a guitar and dropped it by his house a week later. He and his mom were in shock. When I went to the door his mom thought I was the police haha.

He says he wants to drink himself to death. I gave him my number and hopefully he changes his mind.
He is the young version of the guy you met dustyfox.

Khorhey

Saw this young disheveled man at the gas station a couple weeks ago. He had a cheap kids guitar with broken strings. Asked him what he wanted inside and he wanted the 24 ounce 9 percent stuff.

Bought him one and started to talk. He is 25 years old and an alcoholic. 20 plus units day. I told him hey you are a good looking man. You have your whole life in front of you. Why do you want to do this to yourself. We talked for a bit more and I drove him home.

Bought him a guitar and dropped it by his house a week later. He and his mom were in shock. When I went to the door his mom thought I was the police haha.

He says he wants to drink himself to death. I gave him my number and hopefully he changes his mind.
He is the young version of the guy you met dustyfox.

sugarbear1

Most alcoholics die drunk. Sobriety is no game, it's about Life today.

VikingGF

I work with people who are nearing the last years of their lives, and happily, many of them put the bottle down years ago. It’s those who waited too long and now have alcohol-induced dementia who make me the most reflective about my own past and I will never stop being grateful for my current sobriety and vehemently protective of it going forward. It’s sheer luck and timing that I’m not worse off. There but for the grace of God…

Thanks for the post, dustyfox. I hope that gentleman and the young man Khorney was so kind to are able to find a way out of the darkness.

advbike

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Thanks for your compassion, Dusty, and sharing.

calmself

So kind of you, Dusty. Power of alcohol, a demon that never goes away for an alcoholic. Rock bottom is losing everything - family, money, honor, love and health. What a powerful liquid.

DriGuy

What a horrible way to live the end of your life. You can offer people help, even introduce them to recovery. After that, it's up to them. These are a couple of the worst encounters I could imagine. The only way I can truly understand these situations is a absolute commitment to self destruct. There are probably other reasons, but they remain beyond my comprehension.

MythOfSisyphus

A very sad tale. It could practically be my next door neighbor. He's only a couple years older than me but a career drunk. Has a job about three days a year, falling down drunk by 9:00am most days. He'll have better weeks where he's somewhat coherent and worse weeks where he's carted off in an ambulance. This spring he fell while he was plastered and cracked a couple of cervical vertebrates, lived but was in the hospital most of the month and in a halo for a couple more. He broke his glasses while he was drunk a couple months ago and by dumb luck his prescription is close to mine so I gave him a spare pair I had. Well, last night he got plastered and lost them. He lives next door and I try to help him out where I can, maybe a ride to the food pantry or to get minutes for his phone when I have time, etc. Three or four hospitalizations ago the docs said he had brain damage from the drinking but he was no intention of quitting even though he almost certainly understands it will kill him.

I see a bit me in him, the guy I would almost certainly be if I hadn't jumped off the ride then years ago. I'd be like him, or already dead. As another poster puts in another thread, maybe rock bottom will be death.

Behappy1

I was just thinking about the AWFUL situations that I put MYSELF in. Several years ago I was found in the middle of the road. I was driving. I don't know how I got there or why I had been drinking so hard. I don't remember the time leading up to that. I ended up in a very strange, dissheveled house with a couple. About my age. They had taken me in and brought my vehicle and myself to their house. On their couch. They were actually very scary looking people. My family was frantic and calling my phone. A strange man answered (I am female) and said "she will be home in the morning, she is ok". They were terrified all night trying to track me, my phone, anything. The next morning I spoke with them and they came to get me 45 minutes away. They were shocked, scared for me when they saw the house, people that picked me up, condition that I was in. I can never make that event, that terror for them go away.

I could have been killed, tortured, raped or simply buried in their back yard. Thankfully those people were kind souls, trying to help me. I could have killed someone driving. I think I just blacked out in the middle of the road. With no recollection of getting there. I think I must have blocked that incident out or something along the way with how bad things actually got. I lost alot due to alcohol, but I have my life, my family, a beautiful home, 2 awesome dogs, a great job. It's like with alcohol I was/am 2 totally different people.

I am just 200+ days sober now. Do I want to drink? Yea - every now and again. Not to ever be that bad again, but just for a day or two here and there. I know that I could do that. Just drink every now and then. For a while. But it would 100% get that bad again and worse. It is just a matter of time before that would happen.

I hope that person that you helped can find the strength to get the help that they need. I remember what it's like being caught up in that cycle, that hamster wheel with no light or hope. Thank you for posting this. This could have been me.

lmvalentine

That is frightening. I watched my father being taken out by ambulance and then I was in September. We are all very lucky to be here.

MLD51

These cautionary tales have a way of showing up when I need them. Not that I'm in real danger of drinking, but I've been feeling -- I don't know -- less than solid for a couple of weeks now. Life is stressful and the thought of that relaxation that used to come with a drink or two seems like a nice idea now and then. But I remind myself that's fleeting, and never actually works anyway. I also remind myself that I was 100% headed for real disaster of some sort if I had not quit when I did. Things were bad enough as it was (DUI's, losing friends, wrecked a relationship or two, pretty much hated myself), but it definitely easily could have been much much worse.

Someone in my immediate circle (my boyfriend's SIL) is in a really really bad place with alcohol right now. We can't seem to reach her. She's in complete denial, even after having gone to inpatient treatment. She WILL die if she doesn't stop, soon. It's so heartbreaking to watch her light go out, slowly and inexorably. Her husband is about to leave her. She can't hold a job, has no other family or friends to support her. She will end up homeless and destitute, then she will die. UNLESS she can right the ship.

Evoo

One thing being an alcoholic has given me is a high degree of empathy for that man. Sometimes I'll hear people say things like, "Well he shouldn't made better choices. Serves him right." Or other dismissive things that make me cringe. Nobody knows his true story. That's a life right there, full of pain, trauma, addiction, and who knows what.

God bless you for stopping to give me a moment's help as he drifts toward a painful end of life.

Hodd

Such stories had a drip drip effect on me. Every time a news story came on the radio about another study showing alcohol causes cancer or whatever, I stopped and listened. I knew I was putting my health at a massive risk, but like a lot of drinkers I planned to cut down one day. In October 2017 (I just rechecked the date), a British Irish comedian called Sean Hughes died of alcoholic cirrhosis aged 51. I wasn’t a fan, but that was dangerously close to my age and was pretty much the last straw. Sadly, I thought at that time I could moderate, but I did cut down, and it was a start as I finally quit just over a year later.

We don’t want to be doom and gloom 24/7, but these tales need to be told.

I learned recently from this very site that relapsers are often dissatisfied with a return to their old levels of drinking. It’s all an anti-climax and so the answer is more quantity and stronger stuff. That’s just about the scariest and most depressing thing I’d heard in a long time, but it further strengthen my resolve to not be fooled. I’d 100% fall into that trap and drink way more than before.

Behappy1

Same thing - do I want to drink? Yes, every now and then. Could I drink? For a while. Maybe a week, maybe a month. But I know it wouldn't last. I know the type of "relief" that alcohol brings isn't real, nor lasting. It may be ok for a bit, but once I go down that rabbit hole that I had to claw my way out of it would be a deeper and harder climb back to the top. When I came here before and saw people with 10, 50, 100 days I thought that was impossible for me. But it's not. The saying "one day at a time" kind of ticked me off. I could get a day, a week or a few weeks. But it never lasted. For those who are new in recovery, or even thinking about it. Keep fighting. My life isn't all rainbows and unicorns. But It's better. It's real. I can deal with life on life's terms. Not avoiding it through a bottle.

dustyfox

Wow Hodd, I remember Sean Hughes, I interviewed him for a magazine I used to write for. He must have only been about a year or so older than me and when I met him he must have only been about 28 or so - I have a photo of him and me together ( I was a fan) and at that time I do not look like I have a drinking problem and neither does he. But I did - I was drinking a lot then and laughing it off, I guess he was too.

That is so sad. I am grateful all over again that I am sober, that I found this site, and for everyone on it that contributes in any way at all.