ok, I can do this (I keep telling myself that)

Old 07-10-2002, 01:56 PM
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Arrow ok, I can do this (I keep telling myself that)

Gosh you all, I am really trying hard to be strong. My A is back in town and thats not making things real easy for me. I find myself enraged with anger when I am around him, and last night I called him a sorry excuse for a man. Which some of that I really meant, well actually alot of it I did. He also told me he didnt really know hiself anymore, I agreed with him and told him I didn't know him either.

I got alot off my chest, told him how angry I was, how all his excuses in the world or apologies could never make up for what he has done to me and his daughter.

This whole other woman thing and the fact she is pregnant still enrages me, but I don't sit up and obsess over it anymore. That is where the medicine has helped me. I know now there is no comparing me to her whatsoever.

I didn't even really mean to get upset last night, but I damn sure felt I had a right to be heard, regaurdless if it sunk in to him or not.

That old thinking of mine started to come out last night, but I controlled it, I kept telling myself, Look how happy you are without the weight of him on your shoulders, look how happy your daughter is? I kept saying- You can do this to myself. I got myself through it.

It's been kind of a long day, but things are better this time around, than they were before.

I think I can proudly say that I have step one mastered.

I love you all, HP give me strength....
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Old 07-10-2002, 02:29 PM
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********{Bonbon}}}}}}

You should be proud of yourself. You are a strong lady!

Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
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Old 07-10-2002, 02:35 PM
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hey girlfriend,

i just wanted to tell you how proud i am of you. i know you have been having a rough time, and im sorry for that. but you are doing great.
you said you see a difference in your daughter? just hold on to that on the bad days. our kids are a gift from God.

keep up the great work and stay strong.

krazee

and heres a hug from me to you.....
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Old 07-10-2002, 03:56 PM
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Hey Bonbon,

You have taken some giant steps in a short time.

Congratulations !!!

Tell "myself" that she is doing a great job listening to you.


Hugs,

MG
 
Old 07-10-2002, 04:19 PM
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Ann
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Bonbon

You truly have come very far in your recovery. Even recognizing that you were fine and happy without him in your life, is a big step. It doesn't mean you won't feel pain, but it means that you can see where the bridge to recovery is taking you, and it is such a better place.

How many posts here start with the phrace "May addict called...", including some I have posted myself. and the ....is usually bad news that leaves us shaken and struggling with our recovery.

I hope to reach the day in my recovery that I am stable and fine whether or not the addict calls. That will be my giant leap of faith. And I am working on that with all my heart. Because I know that life will be even better then.

Hang in there, girl, you are doing just great and having a few "growing pains" means your recovery is working.
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Old 07-10-2002, 06:48 PM
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JT
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YOU GO, BON BON!!!

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Old 07-11-2002, 06:59 AM
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Thumbs up to you, Sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pat yourself on your back...........and don't worry about whether or not he heard you - atleast you feel better getting all of that garbage off your chest. As long as YOU feel better that's all that matters. YOU and Kaylan of course!

I know it's hard but you're doing just fine. One day at a time!

Love Ya,
Galnva
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