HeartbrokenGirl

Hey everyone! I'm really struggling with this situation and urgently need advice. I don't want to post the story publicly because the man I'm posting about could be on this form. If you're willing to PM me or send a chat to me to hear the story and offer advice, that would mean a lot to me. I'm really struggling :'(

In particular, I'm looking for people who have struggled with alcoholism or are currently struggling with it. If you're a male in your 20's or 30's, that would be even more helpful.

Thank you so much in advance!

trailmix

Hi HBG. I did send you a PM, not sure how many posts you need to reply to PMs?

Anyway, lots of support here for you if you do decide to post even some highlights of your story. Also there are probably a lot of threads here in the forum that you might relate to.

PeacefulWater12

Welcome, HeartBrokenGirl,

sorry that you are struggling. I hope you find the help you are asking for. As TrailMix mentions, I also think you do need a certain number of posts before you can use PM's. I am not sure how many.

There is loads of information on here that you may benefit from reading in peoples posting, please also see the "stickies" at the top as well. Huge resources there too. On pretty much all topics about alcoholism.

sage1969

To search any of the SR forums, you can search by tag (keyword), or if one particular person's post resonates, if you click on their avatar you can read their original posts as well as comments made on other posts.

You might also scan the newcomers forum as there you will find posters who are alcoholics / addicts. This particular form is friends and family, so it would matter as from which perspective you are looking.

velma929

There is a forum specifically for alcoholics. You may read their stories without commenting on anything if you wish to. It's okay to 'lurk' there and learn from their stories. Most of us here love or loved someone who was an addict.

You mentioned drinking in front of an alcoholic in one of your first posts. If someone is making an honest attempt to stop drinking, hanging out in bars with someone who only wants to drink is not going to be a fun evening for him (or her). In fact, many on this board arrange their lives to not be around people who drink, and not be in places where drinking is the main activity. Abstaining from alcohol-related activities is a valid lifestyle.

thequest

Not an alcoholic but a few basics would be an alcoholic or addict won't change until they want to change for themselves. Not for you or even a court. They have to really want it. The other is set boundries/basic rules and do not enable by giving them money or picking up stuff for them.

Anonymity is a good security precaution. You can disguise yourself and/or questions for the entire board ie reach more people. I often felt the sameway with family who's gf was a social media hound with substance abusing children. Your safety number one concern.

Good Luck!

Dee74

PM privileges start after your 15th post.
We used to have it sooner but spammers misused the privilege.

D

HeartbrokenGirl

Thanks everyone! And thank you to those who messaged me. I can't reply to PM's yet. I don't have enough posts.

I've been up all night stressing. There's nothing I could possibly search for on the forum because this is a situation probably unlike anything you guys have seen before.

SparkleKitty

...you might be surprised.

trailmix

Hi HBG, yes, I would be surprised if we haven't seen it before! However, as Dee mentioned, you only need 15 posts to PM - so post one more time and you can use them.

Dee74

I’ve been here 15 years and I’ve seen posts from people who said they were politicians, people in the media, community leaders, police, judges lawyers, priests and several who said they were famous in some way.

No one broke their anonymity.

As for topics and situations, no one is putting you down when they say we’ve probably heard it all because on a site as large as this we probably have.

D

Alpine

I have to agree with sparklekitty, you may be surprised. This is a large forum with people from all walks of life. It amazes me daily how much I have in common with some of the situations I have been through. I am not saying that I am a special snowflake by any means, I just thought I was in the minority and that nobody would understand. I have found out that I am wrong in a good way..And happy to have found SR and have received so much support, insight, and honesty I am forever grateful.

spiderqueen

Me too! So grateful in fact that I still come back to check in 9 years later - 10 years if you count all the lurking before I finally signed up and posted. Folks here helped me save myself and my daughters from a fate worse than death: watching someone you love slowly commit suicide and being powerless to intervene. No one needs a front row seat to that horror. Anyway Heartbroken, there is loads of great reading on this site, and lots of support and understanding when you're ready to share.

Seren

Hello HeartbrokenGirl and Welcome!

I'm sorry you have been feeling so isolated with what you are going through. But you are not alone, and I promise you that with the number of members here, and the years that this forum has been active, there is someone (or more than one someone) who has experienced something similar.

You can post here as much or as little as you need based on your own comfort level. I'm sorry for what brings you to SR.