Welcome, HeartBrokenGirl,
sorry that you are struggling. I hope you find the help you are asking for. As TrailMix mentions, I also think you do need a certain number of posts before you can use PM's. I am not sure how many.
There is loads of information on here that you may benefit from reading in peoples posting, please also see the "stickies" at the top as well. Huge resources there too. On pretty much all topics about alcoholism.