Getting fed up of AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 8
Getting fed up of AA
I’m just over a year sober.
I don’t know why, but just lately AA is starting to grate on me. I can’t connect to meetings, because all I hear is this pseudo-spiritual jargon and nonsense which makes no sense. I don’t like this black and white mentality either that everyone with addiction is a selfish monster who’d step over a dying man in the street to get booze. There also seems to be this view that AA is the only thing that works, and that anyone who strays will pick up a drink.
Lastly, I really don’t agree with the idolisation of the founder and that AA is to be revered. I have faith in God, but that’s personal.
AA has helped tremendously, but I’m just not feeling it any more. I must stress that I have the life beyond my wildest dreams too. I do service, help others and try to stay involved.
Is what I’m feeling normal?
I don’t know why, but just lately AA is starting to grate on me. I can’t connect to meetings, because all I hear is this pseudo-spiritual jargon and nonsense which makes no sense. I don’t like this black and white mentality either that everyone with addiction is a selfish monster who’d step over a dying man in the street to get booze. There also seems to be this view that AA is the only thing that works, and that anyone who strays will pick up a drink.
Lastly, I really don’t agree with the idolisation of the founder and that AA is to be revered. I have faith in God, but that’s personal.
AA has helped tremendously, but I’m just not feeling it any more. I must stress that I have the life beyond my wildest dreams too. I do service, help others and try to stay involved.
Is what I’m feeling normal?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 411
In my experience yes it is entirely normal. I've been to quite a few AA meetings before and was left feeling alienated by people who made me think this is an exclusive club that I wasnt invited to unless I aligned with the egos of others.
That's not to say that AA doesnt work for some. It seems some need that pseudo religious, dogmatic type of approach that they can fall in line with without too much thought or consideration.
I'm all for anything that works....and if you 'get it' in AA then I'm behind you all the way. It's just not for me.
Thank goodness there are other methods to use that afford a bit more individuality.
That's not to say that AA doesnt work for some. It seems some need that pseudo religious, dogmatic type of approach that they can fall in line with without too much thought or consideration.
I'm all for anything that works....and if you 'get it' in AA then I'm behind you all the way. It's just not for me.
Thank goodness there are other methods to use that afford a bit more individuality.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 10
Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? Have you read Came to Believe?
I have done all that, but still at times just get tired of both AA and my alcoholism. I think it's relatively normal to get tired and bored of anything. Today, though, I choose not to drink, and AA helps me.
Good luck with your journey.
I have done all that, but still at times just get tired of both AA and my alcoholism. I think it's relatively normal to get tired and bored of anything. Today, though, I choose not to drink, and AA helps me.
Good luck with your journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
I use SR, books on PTSD, Alcohol, like Alcohol Explained, The Body Keeps the score, etc.
i think the power of belief is HUGE. I did not like the cultish feeling of AA, and the “allergic” “disease” theory of their program, but I think the steps are WONDERFUL for healing. I do them on my own.
I take what I like and leave the rest with AA.
The HARDEST part, I think, is finding what works for YOU.
AVRT, SMART, etc. Blessing there’s so much out there.
Best wishes 🤓❤️
i think the power of belief is HUGE. I did not like the cultish feeling of AA, and the “allergic” “disease” theory of their program, but I think the steps are WONDERFUL for healing. I do them on my own.
I take what I like and leave the rest with AA.
The HARDEST part, I think, is finding what works for YOU.
AVRT, SMART, etc. Blessing there’s so much out there.
Best wishes 🤓❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Whenever I start to feel that way about anything, I try to become a third party neutral observer and drill down to my core to find what it is about me that is creating those reactions. It is difficult at first because I am so focused on the thing, but with some patience and persistence I can get to the source that is causing the reaction by me.
I have moved a lot in my life and I have changed jobs a lot in my life. Usually with the expectations that things or people will different this time, but they never are. But I keep searching. I keep encountering the same things and people every time. The one constant in the equation, is me. I have always been at every new geographic and new job.
The good news is, that me, is one thing I can change and work on to be different this time. Drilling down to my core as third party neutral observer helps me in that regard and has resulted in a much more relaxed, peaceful, and serene me. The funny things is that the better I get, at the exact same time and rate, so do things and people. The less dissatisfied I become, the less dissatisfying, things and people are. What I always seem to be searching for, is searching for me as the same time, and it actually is already in place, inside me. The drilling down continues!
I have moved a lot in my life and I have changed jobs a lot in my life. Usually with the expectations that things or people will different this time, but they never are. But I keep searching. I keep encountering the same things and people every time. The one constant in the equation, is me. I have always been at every new geographic and new job.
The good news is, that me, is one thing I can change and work on to be different this time. Drilling down to my core as third party neutral observer helps me in that regard and has resulted in a much more relaxed, peaceful, and serene me. The funny things is that the better I get, at the exact same time and rate, so do things and people. The less dissatisfied I become, the less dissatisfying, things and people are. What I always seem to be searching for, is searching for me as the same time, and it actually is already in place, inside me. The drilling down continues!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Interesting discussion, thanks everyone.
Recently I have felt rather differently about AA. It seems less to me about drinking, more about healing people who are narcissists and the behaviours that come with that disorder.
The drinking just being the top layer then the true issue of the personality disorder masked under the drinking.
In the Big Book it speaks of "real alcoholics" which I wonder if that is actually Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Just my thoughts, I also use a mix of lots of other programs and healing matter. I have been sober for approaching 12 years. I have found AA very helpful over the years and have a lot of respect for it. I still do, I just now see it from a different perspective.
Recently I have felt rather differently about AA. It seems less to me about drinking, more about healing people who are narcissists and the behaviours that come with that disorder.
The drinking just being the top layer then the true issue of the personality disorder masked under the drinking.
In the Big Book it speaks of "real alcoholics" which I wonder if that is actually Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Just my thoughts, I also use a mix of lots of other programs and healing matter. I have been sober for approaching 12 years. I have found AA very helpful over the years and have a lot of respect for it. I still do, I just now see it from a different perspective.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Nez, your post, as always, is spot on……I’m so glad you posted here, along with all the other great responses.
Copied and archived for further digestion and integration.
Best, Jasl20🤓❤️
Copied and archived for further digestion and integration.
Best, Jasl20🤓❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,388
Originally Posted by Jasl20 
I’m just over a year sober.
I don’t know why, but just lately AA is starting to grate on me. I can’t connect to meetings, because all I hear is this pseudo-spiritual jargon and nonsense which makes no sense. I don’t like this black and white mentality either that everyone with addiction is a selfish monster who’d step over a dying man in the street to get booze. There also seems to be this view that AA is the only thing that works, and that anyone who strays will pick up a drink.
Lastly, I really don’t agree with the idolisation of the founder and that AA is to be revered. I have faith in God, but that’s personal.
AA has helped tremendously, but I’m just not feeling it any more. I must stress that I have the life beyond my wildest dreams too. I do service, help others and try to stay involved.
Is what I’m feeling normal?
I don’t know why, but just lately AA is starting to grate on me. I can’t connect to meetings, because all I hear is this pseudo-spiritual jargon and nonsense which makes no sense. I don’t like this black and white mentality either that everyone with addiction is a selfish monster who’d step over a dying man in the street to get booze. There also seems to be this view that AA is the only thing that works, and that anyone who strays will pick up a drink.
Lastly, I really don’t agree with the idolisation of the founder and that AA is to be revered. I have faith in God, but that’s personal.
AA has helped tremendously, but I’m just not feeling it any more. I must stress that I have the life beyond my wildest dreams too. I do service, help others and try to stay involved.
Is what I’m feeling normal?
I went through a rebellious stage with AA more than once! One time I got so tired of AA and me being a recovering alcoholic I not only quit the meetings, I just pretended it never happened! I just won’t drink! I just pretended I wasn’t an alcoholic, it never happened, I’ll no longer have to treat it! But I’ll just make sure I don’t drink and be just another normal guy out there!
Well it was only a matter of time when my troubles began! I substituted other drugs to cope with the stress of being sober and just not tell anyone about it! But no way was I going back to those meetings! But my drug of choice was alcohol! So the other drugs just weren’t cutting it anymore!
At the time I was living at my parents house! I was much younger back then! Got my own place! I was taking Antabuse to make sure I didn’t drink! I quit taking Antabuse for I don’t know how many days! After not drinking for three and a half years but substituting drugs that whole time, I decided to drink again! I yelled out to myself in my apartment: “three and a half years of hel l”!
This went on over and over again! Like the BIg Book says I had to be beaten into reasonableness! Believe me if I could’ve made it without AA I would’ve done it!
After my fourth treatment center and being introduced to relapse prevention from the book: “Staying Sober, a guide to relapse prevention” by Terrence Gorski and Merlene Miller, and going back to meetings, getting a sponsor, and reapplying myself to the steps, I greatly improved!
I don’t know what or how it happened! But all of a sudden I started to like AA again! You have to be ready and all in or AA won’t work! Today I have 29 years of continuous sobriety and wouldn’t trade this life for anything!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Jasl20, I'm currently in the same boat. 16 years in and out of AA, and the last 5+ months I've been back in, intensive as it gets, daily meetings, weekly Step work, great sponsor. But you get into service work, etc. and you start realizing there are toxic people and predators just like anywhere else. I'm taking a break...my sponsor's out of town and I'll discuss with him when he gets back.
I have many, many posts on here extolling the pros of AA, but you can't hide their real "success" rate hovers around 5%. 50% drop out in the first 30 days, 95% in the first year.
I don't want to drink--but my faith in AA is severely shaken. Been real troubled the last few days.
I have many, many posts on here extolling the pros of AA, but you can't hide their real "success" rate hovers around 5%. 50% drop out in the first 30 days, 95% in the first year.
I don't want to drink--but my faith in AA is severely shaken. Been real troubled the last few days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
AA is peopled by people. People are human beings and imperfect. People sometimes fail in their efforts to live the twelve steps of AA and practice the principles in all their affairs. It doesn’t mean the twelve steps are faulty.
1 1/2 years ago I was riding my motorcycle and swerved to avoid a deer. Wound up in a ditch. The origin of the accident is somewhat up for debate. The accident originated because of the deer...or...it originated because of operator error...or it was a combination between the two. I suspect I know the answer, but at any rate I know for sure it was not because the motorcycle is a bad motorcycle.
1 1/2 years ago I was riding my motorcycle and swerved to avoid a deer. Wound up in a ditch. The origin of the accident is somewhat up for debate. The accident originated because of the deer...or...it originated because of operator error...or it was a combination between the two. I suspect I know the answer, but at any rate I know for sure it was not because the motorcycle is a bad motorcycle.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
