Year End Cleanup
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Year End Cleanup
As we approach a new year, I wanted to wish everyone here Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I decided to clean up my email account. I deleted over 71,000 e-mails. I also started deleting labels that I no longer use.
As I worked my way through them, I was a little surprised at the negativity they represented: e-mails from toxic people long gone from my life. I believed I had to save documentation from them to defend myself.
These are my New Year's resolutions:
1. Work my program and never ignore red flags. I am ultra picky about who I bring into my life as friends.
2. I am self-employed and long-gone from the substance/craziness impregnated corporation I devoted so many years to. I will maintain sobriety and sanity in my professional life.
3. I have developed a script about what it means to be a Flying Monkey that I will use, should family or friends fall prey to being drafted as emissaries by toxic ones trying to spy on me. Perhaps this is part of step 12.
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
5. Lastly, I will take the advice of a priest who suggested that I try to become a beautiful person.
I decided to clean up my email account. I deleted over 71,000 e-mails. I also started deleting labels that I no longer use.
As I worked my way through them, I was a little surprised at the negativity they represented: e-mails from toxic people long gone from my life. I believed I had to save documentation from them to defend myself.
These are my New Year's resolutions:
1. Work my program and never ignore red flags. I am ultra picky about who I bring into my life as friends.
2. I am self-employed and long-gone from the substance/craziness impregnated corporation I devoted so many years to. I will maintain sobriety and sanity in my professional life.
3. I have developed a script about what it means to be a Flying Monkey that I will use, should family or friends fall prey to being drafted as emissaries by toxic ones trying to spy on me. Perhaps this is part of step 12.
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
5. Lastly, I will take the advice of a priest who suggested that I try to become a beautiful person.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Eauchiche, I'm amazed that anyone can accumulate 71K emails! But then, I'm one of those who's always clearing out their email trash bin...
In the years since I've begun my own recovery, I've come to see how therapeutic it is to get rid of things that I no longer use or need, things that no longer serve who I am and what I do NOW. That can be cleaning out my filing cabinet, sorting through my closet and dresser, organizing my kitchen cupboards, or any of a number of other things around the house. While it can be difficult to make those decisions sometimes (and sometimes much more emotional than I expected, leading to a deeper look into what is REALLY going on here...), I have always ended up feeling much better.
Sometimes I can only get so far and I have to take a break. Sometimes I end up changing my mind and keeping the items. I think the important part is the consideration of whether these things are really part of who I want to be as I go forward. While I can't say that I necessarily look forward to these cleanups/overhauls, I look at them now as a way to honor the progress I've made and to clear a path for the progress still to come.
May the space you've made for yourself be filled with joy and light in the coming year, Eauchiche!
In the years since I've begun my own recovery, I've come to see how therapeutic it is to get rid of things that I no longer use or need, things that no longer serve who I am and what I do NOW. That can be cleaning out my filing cabinet, sorting through my closet and dresser, organizing my kitchen cupboards, or any of a number of other things around the house. While it can be difficult to make those decisions sometimes (and sometimes much more emotional than I expected, leading to a deeper look into what is REALLY going on here...), I have always ended up feeling much better.
Sometimes I can only get so far and I have to take a break. Sometimes I end up changing my mind and keeping the items. I think the important part is the consideration of whether these things are really part of who I want to be as I go forward. While I can't say that I necessarily look forward to these cleanups/overhauls, I look at them now as a way to honor the progress I've made and to clear a path for the progress still to come.
May the space you've made for yourself be filled with joy and light in the coming year, Eauchiche!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,650
I have 20,498 emails, so no one email mmmk? I can personally ignore the emails, long ago gave up trying to delete them all lol - I figure they will fall off the end if it gets full!
Eauchiche, what a good idea to do all that clearing out, good on you. I particularly like this one:
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
Eauchiche, what a good idea to do all that clearing out, good on you. I particularly like this one:
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
You are already a beautiful person, but there is always room for more Love. . .
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by honeypig
Eauchiche, I'm amazed that anyone can accumulate 71K emails! But then, I'm one of those who's always clearing out their email trash bin...
In the years since I've begun my own recovery, I've come to see how therapeutic it is to get rid of things that I no longer use or need, things that no longer serve who I am and what I do NOW. That can be cleaning out my filing cabinet, sorting through my closet and dresser, organizing my kitchen cupboards, or any of a number of other things around the house. While it can be difficult to make those decisions sometimes (and sometimes much more emotional than I expected, leading to a deeper look into what is REALLY going on here...), I have always ended up feeling much better.
Sometimes I can only get so far and I have to take a break. Sometimes I end up changing my mind and keeping the items. I think the important part is the consideration of whether these things are really part of who I want to be as I go forward. While I can't say that I necessarily look forward to these cleanups/overhauls, I look at them now as a way to honor the progress I've made and to clear a path for the progress still to come.
May the space you've made for yourself be filled with joy and light in the coming year, Eauchiche!
In the years since I've begun my own recovery, I've come to see how therapeutic it is to get rid of things that I no longer use or need, things that no longer serve who I am and what I do NOW. That can be cleaning out my filing cabinet, sorting through my closet and dresser, organizing my kitchen cupboards, or any of a number of other things around the house. While it can be difficult to make those decisions sometimes (and sometimes much more emotional than I expected, leading to a deeper look into what is REALLY going on here...), I have always ended up feeling much better.
Sometimes I can only get so far and I have to take a break. Sometimes I end up changing my mind and keeping the items. I think the important part is the consideration of whether these things are really part of who I want to be as I go forward. While I can't say that I necessarily look forward to these cleanups/overhauls, I look at them now as a way to honor the progress I've made and to clear a path for the progress still to come.
May the space you've made for yourself be filled with joy and light in the coming year, Eauchiche!
Cleaning up the emails was a good feeling. It made me realize that the problem children represented there are gone out of my head.
Progress, not perfection
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by trailmix
I have 20,498 emails, so no one email mmmk? I can personally ignore the emails, long ago gave up trying to delete them all lol - I figure they will fall off the end if it gets full!
Eauchiche, what a good idea to do all that clearing out, good on you. I particularly like this one:
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
Eauchiche, what a good idea to do all that clearing out, good on you. I particularly like this one:
4. I will guard against misplaced compassion.
Thankyou too, Trailmix. I draw a great deal of strength and wisdom from your posts.
sage
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 704
I too have found that regular purging (including but not restricted to emails and closets) does help me remain focused. I've found that my personal maelstrom created by codependency, addiction, attachment style, and introverted personality is greatly reduced when I routinely clear away attachments, energetically, physically, and emotionally. This doesn't mean I don't have relationships with those around me; this routine clearing seems to help me remain in the present and better able to be clear about how I wish to interact with others. I've found if I let myself be surrounded by things and memories I'm more likely to live in the past and much more likely to backslide into all the habits, behaviors, and addictions I've been leaving behind.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
A delight to read your post, I personally LOVE clearing out. So satisfying and brings joy and energy in.
Late AH suffered with hoarding and I couldn't breathe in his room in our home. That room now is light and airy, lots of space in it. Fresh energy flows through it.
I love to keep my emails to zero. All actioned and deleted. This brings great satisfaction to me, I relate to having to keep some as defense documentation regarding some toxic people in my life. Now all those toxic people have been cleared away like clutter, I no longer need the clutter documentation.
Thanks again for your uplifting post.
Late AH suffered with hoarding and I couldn't breathe in his room in our home. That room now is light and airy, lots of space in it. Fresh energy flows through it.
I love to keep my emails to zero. All actioned and deleted. This brings great satisfaction to me, I relate to having to keep some as defense documentation regarding some toxic people in my life. Now all those toxic people have been cleared away like clutter, I no longer need the clutter documentation.
Thanks again for your uplifting post.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
I wouldn't call compassion misplaced. I looked up 'compassion,' and according to some definitions, one can *feel* compassion, and not act on it. I've stopped myself at a couple points (not nearly often enough) over the years, and asked myself, "Did the person ask for help?" or "Is what I want to do really helping? Or is it meddling, infantilizing, or enabling?"
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,650
Originally Posted by velma929
I wouldn't call compassion misplaced. I looked up 'compassion,' and according to some definitions, one can *feel* compassion, and not act on it. I've stopped myself at a couple points (not nearly often enough) over the years, and asked myself, "Did the person ask for help?" or "Is what I want to do really helping? Or is it meddling, infantilizing, or enabling?"
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