AC82

Today I choose to keep trying and fighting for sobriety. I blew September and October by drinking pretty much every day. I'm not going to focus anymore on the negative, but focus on what I'm doing that is positive in this moment. I'm on SR and posting up. I am committed to not drinking TODAY. I am going to the grocery store in a little bit and I will NOT purchase any alcohol. I will take my son to the park and enjoy this gorgeous fall day and make sure he has a happy trick-or-treating this evening. I will continue reading and educating myself on my addiction and come up with my next course of action. Not going to try and think too far into the future and overcomplicate things this morning. I will leave at that for now and not pick up a drink today. Thank you everyone for being here and taking the time to read my little post.

silentrun

Good choice! It sounds like you have some nice, memory-worthy things planned for today. Missing it drunk would be such a waste.

Mizz

Wonderful! We have TODAY.
You can do this. I believe in you.

least

Keep trying, never give up!

advbike

If you keep relapsing, perhaps additional steps are needed.

Sometimes group meetings help, by adding fellowship and positive reinforcement. Or working a specific type of recovery program that keeps us focused. And of course exercise - I find it essential to control my mood and reduce cravings.

Whatever you do, don't give up and keep posting here!

Just some thoughts - enjoy your wonderful Halloween day!

AC82

Oh trust me, I've been through additional steps many times over the years. Rehab twice, counselors, AA in-person and online, sponsors, working steps, journaling, medication to curb cravings, etc. etc. That's why it is so hard to keep picking myself back up and dusting myself off after wasting so much MORE time under the influence. But, again, right now I'm focusing on just today. I can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here. I made it back from the grocery store, walked past all the wine and beer, which I am out of and would have normally loaded up to replenish the supply... so I will take that small victory. Can't drink it if I ain't got it! Right? Ha.

Free2bme888

Good for you, AC a welcome back 🥰

Hevyn

AC82 - Not a little post - it's a very big deal. I'm so glad you made this decision.
I drank for decades & it was part of my life for so long, I never imagined being without it. Yet it wasn't enhancing my life in any way - just the opposite. It had become toxic & was destroying my spirit. You can get free & never rely on it again. It takes some getting used to in the early days - but you will feel better as the sober days add up.
Congratulations on being sober today!

Anna

Yes, be proud of the small victories because they will take you in the direction you want to go.

Hodd

You got there before me. AC’s day today sounds wonderful. Autumn/fall is a brilliant time.

AC, none of us got it right first time. You should treat a relapse with the seriousness it deserves and not drink every day for two months. You missed out on the good times in September and October. Whatever you’ve been doing isn’t working, is it? Is there anything you think you can change? Can you get a hobby or activity that means you won’t be able to drink, for example?

Robbie64

Welcome back AC. Keep trying, it's the best way to achieve sobriety.

freedomfries

It's great you still have some fight in you

Dee74

You can do this AC

D

Alpine

AC you can do this!

RecklessDrunk

Just keep doing the next right thing.

I think the reason you don't want to give up is you know that drinking sucks. It probably didn't always suck, it didn't always suck for me. It became a case of diminishing or even negative marginal returns. It stopped working. It became less and less good and more and more bad. Only insane dreams of the way it use to make us feel can trick us into picking up a drink. Any thoughts of people like us picking up a drink are just moments of insanity. These cravings that come, these moments of insanity pass much quicker then a hangover. Not just the hangover but a drink also resets the obsession to drink back to full strength.

KTB5000

^^^^^^^ So true Reckless

AC hang in there, and shut your mind down everytime it tries to even consider having a drink, just for today.

UNITE4STRENGTH

I really like your attitude. I wish you every success for the coming days 🙏🏻☀️

AC82

I wish I could maintain that positive sober-minded attitude. Drinking has become such a part of my daily life, I am still picking up as I am saying "I don't even want this". It's insane.

I didn't make it through last night and I was super depressed/angry today. I can't even make it ONE f'ing day! Pathetic.

Just got off work and already have a beer in my hand. I don't even know why I'm bothering to post this. Just feel like I need to be honest.

Alpine

You CAN make one day, just believe in yourself and try to keep yourself busy/distracted. When I start to get cravings I stop what I am doing and go do something else whether it is a hobby, cleaning, going for a walk, etc. It has helped me. It has been tough as I was to that point that I was drinking most of the time during my hobbies, cleaning, surfing on the computer so in my mind I associated all those things with drinking. It has been a challenge but seems to be getting easier. Plus the cravings only last about an hour or 2 at a time. I no longer have any alcohol in the house. Keep trying, it is so worth it. I was so darn depressed and getting worse by the day while I was drinking. My attitude since I have stopped has done a 180. You got this AC!!

silentrun

I remember toward the end begging myself not to turn into the liquor store on the way home from work. I always did until I didn't. Its a horrible place to be.