Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
Again
So here I am back again, but I can't be doing this all over again, ie the lost days, the worry, the sickness,, last time I had 290 days, I was on a roll, and just one drink, just one, and I'm just heading back to oblivion, and do you know, it ain't worth it, trying to ignore it doesn't make it go away, so here we go again, x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 337
Thank you for your reply's, I will do this, for me, but I definitely need to be here, where I live there is no aa, well there is maybe 10 miles away but I have no car and the bus service is chronic, so it's here or just reading,
I turned 50 last month, you would think at My age I'd have more sence, but anyhoo, I'm here x
I turned 50 last month, you would think at My age I'd have more sence, but anyhoo, I'm here x
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Posts: 177
Don't overthink it, don't beat yourself up, just get back to it. It is astronomically better that you quit for those 290 days, even if you started again, than if you had kept drinking through those days.
It's all good. Renew your commitment and get back to work. You can do it.
It's all good. Renew your commitment and get back to work. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Sobriety was not linear for me. I think its not linear for most. Lots of trial and error. It has taken me a decade of learning and relearning what exactly alcohol does to my own life. One decade of getting on the sober bike and falling off. Getting back on. Rinse and repeat. Its been quite the journey. So, you are here and you are tackling sobriety again. Good for you. Walk forward with determination and resolve. Do not be defeated. You can do this. You are doing this. Believe in the power that you have to change your life. You have the power to stop an active addiction and to walk free of it! I believe in you!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,949
Sorry to be reading this, Boggle, but I’d like to say thanks and that you’re very brave to post.
Before I joined this site, I never knew that one drink could spell such calamity. No one likes to think of themselves as ill, but we need to realise we’re all ill (or in remission and one drink is a huge problem.
Hopefully, you’re feeling more upbeat now. Big thanks again for posting
Before I joined this site, I never knew that one drink could spell such calamity. No one likes to think of themselves as ill, but we need to realise we’re all ill (or in remission and one drink is a huge problem.
Hopefully, you’re feeling more upbeat now. Big thanks again for posting
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,503
Hang in there Boggle, you can do this. I thought I had more sense too as I am 51 but I have realized addiction knows no age. Thanks for your post and your honesty. At times I am struggling and often think I can have just one drink and be fine. However, I am afraid if I have one I will not be able to stop and spin back down into my hole. I totally understand where you are coming from. You have my 100% support.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
This place keeps my defenses up. If I stray away from a sober forum or group for too long, I start to forget why I quit.
Even though I will always remember, the pain, suffering, guilt, shame etc. fade.
The triggers, e.g. Halloween, Thanks Giving, World Series, Xmas, New Years, Birthday, tired, happy, angry etc etc. all well up.
Get through each day sober. 1 moment at a time if need be. That is the only way to stay happy happy happy.
Suffering and time.
Life is just better being stone cold sober. No relapses.
Stay clean.
Thanks for the therapy.
Even though I will always remember, the pain, suffering, guilt, shame etc. fade.
The triggers, e.g. Halloween, Thanks Giving, World Series, Xmas, New Years, Birthday, tired, happy, angry etc etc. all well up.
Get through each day sober. 1 moment at a time if need be. That is the only way to stay happy happy happy.
Suffering and time.
Life is just better being stone cold sober. No relapses.
Stay clean.
Thanks for the therapy.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
That sounds awful Boggle. So glad you made it back out. This thing doesn't care about age or one's level of good sense, etc. I dare say some of the smartest folks I've met are here on SR and in my real life recovery world.
Don't beat yourself up. 290 days is amazing and now you know you can do it. I never had a sober adult day until I was 54 and I so wish I had the 4 years before that sober, like you are going to now have.
Those 4 years were a brutal, pathetic, miserable and destructive lost blur. I've run the experiment so check that one off your list.
Don't beat yourself up. 290 days is amazing and now you know you can do it. I never had a sober adult day until I was 54 and I so wish I had the 4 years before that sober, like you are going to now have.
Those 4 years were a brutal, pathetic, miserable and destructive lost blur. I've run the experiment so check that one off your list.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hey Boggle,
You still have those 290 days. This isn't a race, you know. If I thought about how many more days I have to go until the end of my life, I'd probably go mad. The most important thing is to stay sober now... forever.
"Now" is so much easier for me than even 'one day at a time.'
I'm really glad you made it back. I came back over and over and over again and finally seem to have 'got' it. You can make this your last 'over.'
O
You still have those 290 days. This isn't a race, you know. If I thought about how many more days I have to go until the end of my life, I'd probably go mad. The most important thing is to stay sober now... forever.
"Now" is so much easier for me than even 'one day at a time.'I'm really glad you made it back. I came back over and over and over again and finally seem to have 'got' it. You can make this your last 'over.'
O
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
