TroubleAfoot

Hello everyone,
I am a 51 with a long history of drinking since I was 16. I am a nightly drinker and have only called in "sick," to work, only once in my life because I was hungover and that was when I was 19. I just make myself suffer through the really bad hangovers because, after all, I did it to myself. Except for the occasional day drinking sessions, and also the occasional hair of the dog when the hangover is really bad, I drink in the evenings. But, as everyone knows, one can get good and smashed in just a few hours. I drink 4 to 6 pints of 7% craft beer every night.
I'm sick of this endless cycle which is to go to work, at my unsatisfying job, hungover, get off work, get drunk and repeat day after day, month after month, year after year. Getting nothing done and countless years of wasted time. I'm getting too old for this and feel an urgent need to seize control of the remaining years of my life before I'm on my deathbed with nothing to show for it but regret. Last year I quit for 3 months, relapsed, quit again for 2 months, relapsed again, and quit for 1 month before another relapse. My track record kept getting worse but at least I know I can do it.
At my age the health problems from this are mounting. I have constant pain in my feet (neuropathy?) that I did get to go away when i quit for 3 months. It didn't happen over night, and at first I thought I was stuck with it, but then it went away when I had nearly reached the two month mark. I have some mild arthritis and various aches and joint pains. I am convinced I can cure all this by stopping and eating healthy, exercising, etc.
I got a DUI a year and a half ago (which precipitate my 3 quitting sessions). i also got one 26 years ago. Driving intoxicated is just about one of the most stupid and irresponsibly dangerous things anyone can do. I was so ashamed when I got the last one but my friends were very supportive. They helped me keep my **** together when i wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through it.
Each time I started drinking again, last year, I was going to "try it out" again because, this time I've got this, I'm going to be a moderate drinker this time. You know, just drink once or twice a week no problem. Total problem. It always goes back to the way it was. Always. So I know now I need to quit, forever, to break this desperate cycle.
I know I can do it since I've done it - at least for short periods of time. And I did it alone with no support mechanisms. I also relapsed 3 times. I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad for me to be here and get some support from everyone. And, maybe someday, I can offer advice and support for others.
Today is my first day of not drinking again.

Dee74

Congrats on a day one TroubleAFoot

Like you I spent many eyars trying to moderate and always ended up back at the same spot, again and again
I found this community a great help in maintaining abstinence - I know you will too.

D

TroubleAfoot

Thanks Dee from a fellow Deadhead!

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! This site helped me get sober, and it took a few times before I finally got it right. Glad you are here!

TroubleAfoot

Thank you! I have come to realize I am going to slowly kill myself if I keep this up. The writing is on the wall in giant neon letters

GerandTwine

Hi TA,

It sounds like all you need to do is learn Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) and its plan (or pledge) of permanent abstinence “I will never drink again.” It’s based upon how people have been ending chemical dependency throughout history. You can find out about it in the Permanent Abstinence Forum here on SR.

GT

tufty13

Welcome TA,

I’m on my second serious attempt at sobriety. Life is so god damn good without the booze, I can’t imagine being dragged back into that cycle.

I loved my craft beer too. I kind of convinced myself it was ok to drink because it was in some way superior to other beers. 🤣 More fool me - it still poisoned my body.

Stick around, there are some great folk here.

Robbie64

Welcome to SR TroubleAfoot.

Like yourself I tried many times todeal with my alcohol problems by trying to moderate. Like yourself, I couldn't. Eventually I realised that the only way I was going to be abe to deal with the problem was by quitting drinking. There is no other way. SR, and the posters at SR, has been a great help for me in achieving sobriety each day. Keep reading and posting.

Have you spoken to your doctor about the constant pain in your feet? We can't give medical advice or opinion here at SR (it's against forum rules) but it's suffice to say that peripheral neuropathy can be caused by, amongst other things, excessive alcohol intake, be a sign of liver disease, vitamin B12 deficiency or more commonly caused by diabetes. When I drank heavily over a period of time I would get painful feet and the pain would eventually ease when I stopped drinking.

advbike

Welcome TA, glad to have you here. I also had pain in my feet, beginning about your age, although I was drinking considerably less and in pretty good shape, had been a runner. Mostly a lot of anxiety. Both have been greatly diminished since I quit here with the help of SR and it changed my life. I also recommend reading the information about the Rational Recovery concepts and AVRT method.

You can do it man, and at your age still have a great life for the next 30 to 40 years.

lessgravity

Welcome Trouble. This place is amazing. It got me permanently sober under similar conditions that you describe. Life has never been better. Congrats on your decision to take your life back. What's the plan?

Mizz

Quitting is hard work and it is not linear for some.
I have had multiple relapses in the last decade. The point is that we keep trying and all that "try" will stick.
Having support is wonderful. This forum has been a valuable tool for me in my recovery from alcoholism.

Welcome!

Anna

I'm glad you found us and good job on Day 1. Like you, I was determined to moderate my drinking and failed again and again, which always make things worse. You will find lots of support here.

Surrendered19

Hi TA. I was an extremely heavy drinker every day, yet I drank another 4 years past the age you are now. You wouldn't BELIEVE the staggering damage to your mind, body and relationships that occurs during those 4 years. Trust me. I've run the experiment.

Welcome to SR and to a healthy recovery.

TroubleAfoot

I will most definitely look into this. It keeps coming up and I feel, as far as recovery techniques go, it would be a good fit for me.
I have a friend who quit drinking two years ago and he says the same thing. He hangs out in our friend group and is able to stay sober while most of the gang is getting drunk during lake days, dinners, etc. And I'm reading on this forum, over and over, the same sentiment from so many of you and it is beyond encouraging.
Yeah. Craft beer. What's funny is I work as a bartender in a brewpub! It sounds problematic but I was able to do it for the six total months I didn't drink last year.

Thank you for reinforcing that for me. For me, and apparently a lot of the people here, there is no such thing as Moderation. I haven't spoken to my doctor only because I was able to make it go away, before, and figure I can again. I figure I'll give it some time and then go see my doc if any aches and pains do not resolve themselves. I am also convinced, through some experimentation where I did month breaks from drinking and eating unhealthily, that a healthy diet can heal most of what ails us if the damage isn't too extensive. Hopefully mine isn't.

TroubleAfoot

Thank you! That's my goal, to take back the life I have left. I keep hearing so many good things, about Rational Recovery, that I am definitely going to check it out.

I am already, after less than 24 hours, thinking it was a good decision for me to come to this place. I can't believe the awesome amount of support I have already gotten. My plan? I have an outline but I just need to fill it in.

Thanks Mizz! I'm hoping not to relapse but, if I do, I can start over with the continued support of all of you. I really appreciate it.

TroubleAfoot

Thank you Anna. You are right about it just getting worse. I am so disappointed with myself because of the damage from drinking that makes me feel like an unhealthy 80 year old. Damage that I had already mostly reversed when I quit drinking for 3 months last year. But then I had to go and do it to myself all over again
This is probably the most powerful feedback I've gotten so far and I really appreciate you sharing it with me. Through your own example you have given me some age related motivation to quit this sooner than later. I hope you are doing better now and healing from all of that damage.

fishkiller

Welcome trouble!

I quit last year at 51 also.
I was freshly retired and even though I was a very heavy drinker before, I began to kick it into overdrive. I realized, like you, that this was an unsustainable lifestyle. I was just wasting away the days I had dreamed of for 30 plus years.

Posted here January 15th 2020 while drinking and feeling miserable.

Like you I received responses very quickly.

That was the last day alcohol touched my lips.

Hopefully you have drank your last drink also. Stick around. Post before you drink. We will help you through the cravings.


I can help you with your plan also

Step 1: Tell yourself you do not drink anymore. Never, No matter what. Not a little bit. Not only on special occasions. NEVER
Step 2: Do not drink no matter what


Last step: Enjoy your new found freedom!

There are more steps between 2 and the Last but those very person to person.

I personally use AVRT and SR

TroubleAfoot

Thanks for the encouragement @fishkiller . I was super hesitant to join this group but I'm sure glad I did. The support has already been incredible. It takes time to be on here, and read and comment, but hearing other's stories, and learning from them, encourages me and reminds me why I don't want to drink. And, sharing my stories, which I have already done a little on other's posts, reminds me of the pain drinking has caused me and, again, why I don't want to drink anymore. I just shared a story about my 2nd DUI, with another who just go his 3rd, and I started to tear up just thinking about what a hopelessly miserable time it was for me. I don't need that kind of stuff in my life anymore.
It's is well worth the spending that time here.

I WILL NOT DRINK AGAIN. EVER.

Thanks again. I have read a little about AVRT and it really appeals to me. What does SR stand for?

CBS62

Hi TroubleAfoot. SR stands for Sober Recovery. Welcome! I have been sober for 4.5 months. This is my first real try at it. I am 59. I tried moderation several times unsuccessfully. This site has been extremely helpful to me! I recommend going to the "Grat pack": https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-106-a-23.html (Morning Gratitude ~ Part 106) and "your Class" the May 2021 support group: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

I post everyday to the gratitude forum it really helps me especially when I am having a bad day. Your class will help you get to know a smaller group of people with similar quit dates to you. Good luck! Keep going with your sobriety. One of my favorite lessons I have learned so far is that sobriety is not a punishment it is a gift.

Libby06

SR stands for Sober Recovery, this awesome site you have stumbled upon. I'm glad that you are here.

I drank very much like you described and do not anymore. I am able to be around others drinking (although I prefer not) and I have zero urges to drink! I also know 2 bartenders in recovery, so it's possible, as you have already shown.

51 is a great age to take your life back. I went to AA and got sober. Its not for everyone, but it worked for me.

Keep posting