tired13

I am 28 and have dealt with my Mom being an alcoholic since I was 14. I have confronted her and her excuse is that she needs to drink to deal with my Dad, who is a wonderful person albeit a hard person to be with. I have gotten to the point that I have told her the last thing I would want is for her to leave my Dad but if that is how she is going to stop drinking and be healthy, I will suport her.

I confronted her again on Thanksgiving and for the first time told her how her drinking affected me, instead of my worries about her, health, etc. She wasn't too defensive but tried to convince me that "It wasn't that bad". She told me fine, she'd stop drinking but then the next night was drinking again.

I love my Mom and absolutlely love spending time with her when she is sober. I told her though that her drinking really upsets me and that I am getting to the point that I will have to remove myself from the situtation if it doesn't improve.

I guess what I am looking for as far as advice goes is I am going home for Christmas (I live out of town) and want to deal with it off the bat before the drinking even starts with how it makes me feel. I was going to write a letter and I was looking for a book or article that might explain how I feel and any other advice on how to deal and approach this in a positive way.

Cando

I have been in your same situation. You can't make someone stop drinking. You have already told your mother how you feel. I don't think any letter or article is going to stop her from drinking. Alanon can help you deal with this. You need to focus on your own life. When you take the focus off of her and put it on yourself, she may make some changes. Has your father ever been to Alanon? You have a couple of choices regarding Christmas: Don't go or go and realize your mother is going to drink. I have reached the point in my life where I want to be with sober people during the holidays.

bjmt

tired13,You can't make someone stop drinking. You have already told your mother how you feel. You have done all you can do. AlAnon has your best answers. They can help you and your Dad deal with problem.
"She wasn't too defensive but tried to convince me that "It wasn't that bad". She told me fine, she'd stop drinking but then the next night was drinking again." Sounds like my AH. I have told him how I feel and worries over his health are causing me. "He says...okay I will cut back on drinking. I CAN STOP DRINKING ANY TIME I WANT." Next night he is right back at the same amount of drinking. Won't admit he has a problem. Won't even think of going to AA.
"Think Cando is correct...I don't think any letter or article is going to stop her(your mom) from drinking."
A positive approach for you ..is to go to AlAnon. If your father won't go...go alone. See what they have to offer for yourself.
Good luck.