VeggieFriend

Hey all
This is my day 1.
The longest I've managed to quit drinking since realizing it was a problem is maybe a month.
The hard thing for me this time is I really don't want to quit but I really want to quit.
Covid has put me into Chaos mode. I have been having sleep issues for a number of months and find myself drinking to fall asleep. Being awake at 4 am makes me anxious for some reason, so I drink then wake up depressed and unhappy and do the same thing all over again.
I can't stand myself right now and really need to get some control to find some peace of mind.
I definitely have some anxiety issues and use alcohol to manage them which –in the long run—makes me more anxious.
I'm really stressed about starting this process but can't stand not starting it. Any words of advice for day 1 would be amazing, I'm pretty down on myself right now.

Dee74

Hi and welcome

Best advice I can give is try and take it easy and stay hydrated. If you’re worried about withdrawal or feeling particularly poorly, consider seeing a Doctor.

Read around and post as much as you like here. It helps fill in the time and support is really important on this journey

D

Hevyn

I can relate, VF. I didn't want to quit, but I had to or I'd die. I couldn't stand myself either, & was exhausted from making excuses & justifying my behavior. I wanted my life back - just an ordinary day - no more drinking 'round the clock & never sleeping - anxiety through the roof. It's pure misery. You can get free.

rodyda

Welcome veggie, glad to have you here! Good luck on your journey, it’s very possible to achieve sobriety

Dejvice

Awake early in morning 3...4am then drinking, I know what you mean. Then back to bed sleep, wake up about 9 ish or even later at the weekend. Stare a ceiling and think about getting a drink, have a few beers in the fridge ice cold, shower then by noon I'd be in the bar.

If it was a work day toss and turn from 3am The anxiety, I used to wake up heart pounding, In the end I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, avoided people that I knew. Hated work. Hated almost everybody and everything. Things now make a lot more sense but I have to work at keeping the sense or not drinking

Quitting alcohol makes a lot of sense when it causes a person problems.

Keep at it. It will get better. Need to work at it.

Surrendered19

Hi VF. How are you doing today? Sober I hope? I don't know when your cravings will come but be ready for them right? Maybe get outside and get some exercise until they pass? Hang in there the next few days. You already know you can do it.

least

Welcome to the family VeggieFriend! Dee gave some good advice. Drink lots of fluids, eat a bit if you can, rest when possible, and get medical help if your withdrawal gets bad.

Anna

Welcome VeggieFriend, I think it's normal to be scared at the outset of stopping drinking. But, you will be able to do it as long as you are motivated. It sounds like you know it's what you need to do for your mental health and well-being.

My advice would be to be kind to yourself today, stay hydrated and eat well, if you can. Think about making a plan for how you will remain sober, for you will get through each day. And, do keep reading and posting. We understand how hard this is.

brighterday1234

There is a wonderful sober life available for those that want it badly enough and are willing to put the work in to get it in my experience. Stay close to SR, it’s a wonderful recovery site.

ScottFromWI

I totally get that, I think everyone does. We'd love to keep the some of the things we associate with our drinking ( the buzz, the good times ) but none of the bad things ( which far outnumber the good so I'll not make a list! ). But the unfortunate truth we need to accept is that once we've crossed the line, the 2 cannot be separated. I am a diagnosed anxiety sufferer and while drinking did possibly help at one point, it was made far worse by my continued drinking. And after I quit, the anxiety did not go away - i needed to treat it as a separate condition/ailment. That's the problem sometimes...after we quit we feel worse, but it's not because of the lack of alcohol..it's all the things we left neglected while we were drinking that still exist.