13 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
13 days
Hi, today is 13 days for me.. I am a nightly binge drinker. I decided after another night of not remembering what I said or did, I needed to take a break. I got into a "fight" with my daughter and had no reciliation of it at all. I am tired of feeling guilty the next day and not knowing what I did the night before, how I got this bruise, wondering if I did or said anything inappropriate and so on.
I had blood work done in October and it showed I have slightly elevated liver enzymes and a hyperthyroid and that also prompted me to cut back albeit it took me 3 months to actually do it and stop making excuses.. it was always I will start tomorrow or Monday or this day or that day. I finally got sick of delaying it and just did it and I am proud of myself for it FINALLY!
I don't plan on quitting forever, I just want to be a social drinker once in a while. Is that possible? I have no issues or ill effects from abstaining. Does this make me a problem drinking or am I an alcoholic?
I had blood work done in October and it showed I have slightly elevated liver enzymes and a hyperthyroid and that also prompted me to cut back albeit it took me 3 months to actually do it and stop making excuses.. it was always I will start tomorrow or Monday or this day or that day. I finally got sick of delaying it and just did it and I am proud of myself for it FINALLY!
I don't plan on quitting forever, I just want to be a social drinker once in a while. Is that possible? I have no issues or ill effects from abstaining. Does this make me a problem drinking or am I an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Virginia
Posts: 100
Adalila
we are on very similar paths. This isn't my first time quitting. I stopped for months a few years ago, thought I had gotten to where I could enjoy an occassionally drink. Took maybe 2 weeks to be completely out of control. Whenever I stopped, I thought since I didn't have physical withdrawal I wasn't really addicted. I am, emotionally maybe but I am.
Waking up no memory, bruises, having to go through the house to see if I'd broken anything.....fast forward a couple years, I'm on day 12. Do I think I could have one? Realistically, no. My last fast was 5 weeks after a major, not alcohol related, injury where I wanted my psin medication more than a drink. When I stopped the meds, I waited 3 days to be confident, then. Right back.
This time I'm letting go if the fantasy. It isn't easy, but I think, for me, it means survival.
Keep posting, great support here.
we are on very similar paths. This isn't my first time quitting. I stopped for months a few years ago, thought I had gotten to where I could enjoy an occassionally drink. Took maybe 2 weeks to be completely out of control. Whenever I stopped, I thought since I didn't have physical withdrawal I wasn't really addicted. I am, emotionally maybe but I am.
Waking up no memory, bruises, having to go through the house to see if I'd broken anything.....fast forward a couple years, I'm on day 12. Do I think I could have one? Realistically, no. My last fast was 5 weeks after a major, not alcohol related, injury where I wanted my psin medication more than a drink. When I stopped the meds, I waited 3 days to be confident, then. Right back.
This time I'm letting go if the fantasy. It isn't easy, but I think, for me, it means survival.
Keep posting, great support here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,162
Is it possible for a problem drinker to become a "normal" social drinker? I have never seen it happen.
I wouldn't focus on forever if that scares you. I know it did me at first. Just don't drink today.
Now the thought of never having another drink brings me joy.
From a guy who is almost a year sober, after seeing what is on the other side of alcoholism and that lifestyle I have NO desire to have just one.
I wouldn't focus on forever if that scares you. I know it did me at first. Just don't drink today.
Now the thought of never having another drink brings me joy.
From a guy who is almost a year sober, after seeing what is on the other side of alcoholism and that lifestyle I have NO desire to have just one.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,162
If you think moderation is for you then take a look at this thread by lessgravity.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...oderation.html (My guide to moderation)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...oderation.html (My guide to moderation)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,520
Alcoholics can never drink socially or normally. I think most of us here have tried countless times to manage our drinking and failed.
It's up to you to decide if you're an alcoholic or not. It's just a label. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then stopping drinking is the answer.
It's up to you to decide if you're an alcoholic or not. It's just a label. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then stopping drinking is the answer.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Welcome Adalida. I have had many relapses over a long drinking career and although I am able to moderate my drinking to some degree, it is NEVER social drinking and always enough to cause many other problems. It is simply impossible for someone who is alcoholic like me to "just have one or two". It is not a matter of willpower, it is a physiological fact because in those of us with this problem we have a strong physical craving for the alcoholic buzz combined with frontal lobes lose that the capacity to restrain us. We are simply wired that way, and I am sure you are too.
I have quit drinking for years at times and always as soon as I try to have just one or two I am right back where I was when I left off. Meanwhile the psychological damage and inability to resolve other situations in my life continues to get worse. I can only say that it would be far better to quit permanently now, while you can still make a positive impression on your daughter, than waiting for something far more serious to happen. And it will.
I have quit drinking for years at times and always as soon as I try to have just one or two I am right back where I was when I left off. Meanwhile the psychological damage and inability to resolve other situations in my life continues to get worse. I can only say that it would be far better to quit permanently now, while you can still make a positive impression on your daughter, than waiting for something far more serious to happen. And it will.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
Hi and welcome Adalida 
I am another one who could never cut back. Once I started drinking I drank and drank, through blackouts and other embarrassments till I passed out.
I got worse as the years wore on, never better.
I had to get past the idea of not drinking as a loss.
It was not a loss for me - anything I ‘lost’ by no longer drinking was nothing I wanted to keep...y’know?
D
I am another one who could never cut back. Once I started drinking I drank and drank, through blackouts and other embarrassments till I passed out.
I got worse as the years wore on, never better.
I had to get past the idea of not drinking as a loss.
It was not a loss for me - anything I ‘lost’ by no longer drinking was nothing I wanted to keep...y’know?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Adalida. I'm going to guess that getting into fights with people, including family members, falling down or stumbling into things and being bruised, wondering in dread if you said or did anything, and not remembering any of it, is evidence that it is time for a change dearest. You might not be ready for that yet, but I think if you drink again, you will notice that you will again fight, fall down, get bruised, say awful things and not remember any of it. These things, and all of your health markers, indicate that things need to change. Hundreds if not thousands of us on SR and around the world have tried to moderate and drink normally and it is just a road fraught with nothing but peril.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,579
Great to meet you, Adalida.
I wanted so badly to be a social drinker. Long after I knew it wasn't possible, I kept trying. It led me to a very bad place. Controlling the amounts I drank never worked once.I had to make the decision to not touch the stuff. It was the only way to stay safe and sane. Whatever you decide, we're here to talk it over with you. Congrats on your 13 days. off it.
I wanted so badly to be a social drinker. Long after I knew it wasn't possible, I kept trying. It led me to a very bad place. Controlling the amounts I drank never worked once.I had to make the decision to not touch the stuff. It was the only way to stay safe and sane. Whatever you decide, we're here to talk it over with you. Congrats on your 13 days. off it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Surrendered19 
Hi Adalida. I'm going to guess that getting into fights with people, including family members, falling down or stumbling into things and being bruised, wondering in dread if you said or did anything, and not remembering any of it, is evidence that it is time for a change dearest. You might not be ready for that yet, but I think if you drink again, you will notice that you will again fight, fall down, get bruised, say awful things and not remember any of it. These things, and all of your health markers, indicate that things need to change. Hundreds if not thousands of us on SR and around the world have tried to moderate and drink normally and it is just a road fraught with nothing but peril.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
32 Days
Hi everyone! I really didn't know all of you responded to me, I am new to this site and not sure how to see I have message's but I will work on that.
I am on day 32 and feel great! Sleeping is something I now love to do, I have had insomnia for YEARS, but no more! I have been around alcohol and have had no problem abstaining which I find incredible. Of course I do wish I could have one but I will stay away. I was pretty worried about it, not drinking forever, but like some of you have said, one day at a time..
My only problem is that I cannot stay away from sweets for some reason now!
Just wanted to thank you all for your support!
I am on day 32 and feel great! Sleeping is something I now love to do, I have had insomnia for YEARS, but no more! I have been around alcohol and have had no problem abstaining which I find incredible. Of course I do wish I could have one but I will stay away. I was pretty worried about it, not drinking forever, but like some of you have said, one day at a time..
My only problem is that I cannot stay away from sweets for some reason now!
Just wanted to thank you all for your support!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,520
Great job on 32 days of sobriety. I'm glad your insomnia has improved.
It's pretty normal to replace the sugar in alcohol with sugar in cookies, candies, etc. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it's always a good idea to get involved in some kind of exercise. You can slowly begin to cut back on sugary things.
I'm glad your insomnia has improved.It's pretty normal to replace the sugar in alcohol with sugar in cookies, candies, etc. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it's always a good idea to get involved in some kind of exercise. You can slowly begin to cut back on sugary things.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
Oh the embarrassing things that have happened, I don't even want to memorialize them! Nights out that I have "ruined" or forgotten the last part of the night.. I am ashamed of how I acted. And the regret when you wake up is terrible. I don't think I could just have 1 or 2 drinks and stop at that. Well, I could but then I would have another 1 or 2 here and there and then before I know it, it would be back to every night and I don't want to be that person anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Hi Adalida. I'm going to guess that getting into fights with people, including family members, falling down or stumbling into things and being bruised, wondering in dread if you said or did anything, and not remembering any of it, is evidence that it is time for a change dearest. You might not be ready for that yet, but I think if you drink again, you will notice that you will again fight, fall down, get bruised, say awful things and not remember any of it. These things, and all of your health markers, indicate that things need to change. Hundreds if not thousands of us on SR and around the world have tried to moderate and drink normally and it is just a road fraught with nothing but peril.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
But drinking or not, I hope you stay on SR here and let us know how things are.
And the bit about not having any nasty withdrawal symptoms - that won't be the case in the future is my educated guess.
13 days is amazing by the way. You should be proud of that and have it be the first 13 days of the next thousand sober.
Oh the embarrassing things that have happened, I don't even want to memorialize them! Nights out that I have "ruined" or forgotten the last part of the night.. I am ashamed of how I acted. And the regret when you wake up is terrible. I don't think I could just have 1 or 2 drinks and stop at that. Well, I could but then I would have another 1 or 2 here and there and then before I know it, it would be back to every night and I don't want to be that person anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Anna
Great job on 32 days of sobriety. I'm glad your insomnia has improved.
It's pretty normal to replace the sugar in alcohol with sugar in cookies, candies, etc. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it's always a good idea to get involved in some kind of exercise. You can slowly begin to cut back on sugary things.
I'm glad your insomnia has improved.It's pretty normal to replace the sugar in alcohol with sugar in cookies, candies, etc. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it's always a good idea to get involved in some kind of exercise. You can slowly begin to cut back on sugary things.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Thanks for checking in Adalida. So glad you are still sober and doing well! I also have a bit of a problem with sweets, so I prefer not to keep them in the house, except for maybe just a little bit. Hard candies can actually be good, because you can't eat a whole bunch of them at once and they don't actually have that many calories, compared to chocolate or rich desserts.
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