Kicked in to the long grass
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Kicked in to the long grass
Hi everyone. I've just passed 8 months sober - whoop whoop me, very pleased that I am feeling like a human being again. Not always great but able to engage with the world on its terms.
My technique recently has been that whenever I have a thought about drinking I don't deal with it. For example - from the beginning of September I knew my birthday was coming up and also a big social event that I would have drunk at in the past. Rather than think about that I just put it out of my mind...on the day there was not a chance I was going to drink, and I am glad to say I did not WANT to drink. My desires and my decision not to drink we perfectly in line with each other (they aren't always!).
Half of me thinks this is a good technique - I just don't think about it until the day comes, and then on the day I don't want to drink (and if I do I have a toolbox of things to get round this).
Half of me thinks this is a bad technique - am I running away from problem and not tackling the issue head on? I keep hearing from people who made the "once and for all" decision not to drink. It seems a bit like I am not dealing with the issues, just winging it.
Thoughts welcome and enjoy your day. I will enjoy it much more for being sober
My technique recently has been that whenever I have a thought about drinking I don't deal with it. For example - from the beginning of September I knew my birthday was coming up and also a big social event that I would have drunk at in the past. Rather than think about that I just put it out of my mind...on the day there was not a chance I was going to drink, and I am glad to say I did not WANT to drink. My desires and my decision not to drink we perfectly in line with each other (they aren't always!).
Half of me thinks this is a good technique - I just don't think about it until the day comes, and then on the day I don't want to drink (and if I do I have a toolbox of things to get round this).
Half of me thinks this is a bad technique - am I running away from problem and not tackling the issue head on? I keep hearing from people who made the "once and for all" decision not to drink. It seems a bit like I am not dealing with the issues, just winging it.
Thoughts welcome and enjoy your day. I will enjoy it much more for being sober
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
If you're running so am I. I'm doing several different things with this quit than previously and one of them is I don't entertain any thoughts about drinking. The AV is like a screaming toddler so I believe if we can ignore it, it will eventually die down (it has for me).
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
The Addictive Voice loves astronomy. It knows it can use astronomy to fool its host into a contrived method of keeping the dream (of future drinking) alive.
The two most prominent periods of time for life are the day, and the second. The day is figured by astronomical facts, and the second is figured as the average heartbeat period of a human.
Well, the AV would love its host to use a second as the period of time in which to swear to not drink, but, frankly, it knows that’s just too darn short a period of time to bamboozle an addicted person into not drinking.
So, the AV goes to astronomy, and is perfectly happy with the day period. Don’t drink toDAY. Yeah, that’s it. A week would be ok, too, but a week has no basis in nature. None at all. Let’s hook not drinking up to the fatigue appetite. You get tired, don’t drink, go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and start over with a healthy unrestrained Addictive Voice that has to be dealt with all over again.
You see, the Addictive Voice is actually the expression of a TIMELESS appetite. The desire to drink has no real concern about how long you wait do drink again. A second, a day, a week, ten years, all are just fine with IT, the Beast of Booze. Just make sure YOU never say NEVER again will I drink. THAT is the only period of time that makes a difference to IT. IT knows what that means. DEATH.
IT knows YOUR relation to IT will always be complex and full of debate when it petitions YOU to consider shortening your period of not drinking from ten years to maybe tomorrow. I mean, if you don’t say never, then that means you really ARE entertaining a plan to drink later on, so IT can pester and pester and make your life a living hell of feeling powerless.
“I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind” is totally possible for adult humans. It ends not only an addiction, but all the time involved in an externally controlled recovery.
The two most prominent periods of time for life are the day, and the second. The day is figured by astronomical facts, and the second is figured as the average heartbeat period of a human.
Well, the AV would love its host to use a second as the period of time in which to swear to not drink, but, frankly, it knows that’s just too darn short a period of time to bamboozle an addicted person into not drinking.
So, the AV goes to astronomy, and is perfectly happy with the day period. Don’t drink toDAY. Yeah, that’s it. A week would be ok, too, but a week has no basis in nature. None at all. Let’s hook not drinking up to the fatigue appetite. You get tired, don’t drink, go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and start over with a healthy unrestrained Addictive Voice that has to be dealt with all over again.
You see, the Addictive Voice is actually the expression of a TIMELESS appetite. The desire to drink has no real concern about how long you wait do drink again. A second, a day, a week, ten years, all are just fine with IT, the Beast of Booze. Just make sure YOU never say NEVER again will I drink. THAT is the only period of time that makes a difference to IT. IT knows what that means. DEATH.
IT knows YOUR relation to IT will always be complex and full of debate when it petitions YOU to consider shortening your period of not drinking from ten years to maybe tomorrow. I mean, if you don’t say never, then that means you really ARE entertaining a plan to drink later on, so IT can pester and pester and make your life a living hell of feeling powerless.
“I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind” is totally possible for adult humans. It ends not only an addiction, but all the time involved in an externally controlled recovery.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, I'm not a staunch follower of AVRT like Gerard is, but I completely agree that it has to be Never Again. Then any and all desires that arise have to become, "Shut up." Sometimes I say - out loud - "Stop. I don't drink, not now not ever." (or, “I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind,”) That has never failed to work to quiet the thought. You need to come up with an Answer to It.
If you made The Decision, it's a done deal. Doesn't mean there won't be thoughts of a drink, of course there will be. But the answer is always, "I don't drink." Saying, "I don't drink," effectively shuts down all this inner discussion you're having, Be123. There is no discussion, it's over, Forever and Ever, Amen. No negotiating, no pretzel logic, no dwelling on it, no DOUBT, just, "I'm not going to drink because I don't drink - not now, not ever."
Bam.
I do have to answer it in some way rather than trying to avoid it. I get what you're doing Be123 and you do see that it's just avoidance. That wouldn't work for me. I have to answer it in a completely non-ambivalent clear-cut way with no outs for the future.
If you made The Decision, it's a done deal. Doesn't mean there won't be thoughts of a drink, of course there will be. But the answer is always, "I don't drink." Saying, "I don't drink," effectively shuts down all this inner discussion you're having, Be123. There is no discussion, it's over, Forever and Ever, Amen. No negotiating, no pretzel logic, no dwelling on it, no DOUBT, just, "I'm not going to drink because I don't drink - not now, not ever."
Bam.
I do have to answer it in some way rather than trying to avoid it. I get what you're doing Be123 and you do see that it's just avoidance. That wouldn't work for me. I have to answer it in a completely non-ambivalent clear-cut way with no outs for the future.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by GerandTwine 
...IT knows YOUR relation to IT will always be complex and full of debate when it petitions YOU to consider shortening your period of not drinking from ten years to maybe tomorrow. I mean, if you don’t say never, then that means you really ARE entertaining a plan to drink later on, so IT can pester and pester and make your life a living hell of feeling powerless.
“I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind” is totally possible for adult humans. It ends not only an addiction, but all the time involved in an externally controlled recovery.
“I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind” is totally possible for adult humans. It ends not only an addiction, but all the time involved in an externally controlled recovery.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,073
IMO Letting go of drinking thoughts is the same as not 'clinging' to drinking thoughts. If I do not attach myself to the thought. The thought will arise 'let go' and the thought dissipates into nothingness.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
I think if it works use it.
engaging with ones addiction is pretty futile, so not doing that must be a good thing?
I'm not sure I class that as running away either - you've not shied away from the hard posts or harsh reveals Be.
D
engaging with ones addiction is pretty futile, so not doing that must be a good thing?
I'm not sure I class that as running away either - you've not shied away from the hard posts or harsh reveals Be.
D
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