Another worthless day
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm sorry you are feeling that way Lisalily. Are you sober and otherwise on a healthy road? I hope you remember in the dark times that only you can determine your own worth. Another's opinion - even your husband's - on your worth or whether you've done enough can be very hurtful, self-serving and most times inaccurate. The only opinion that really matters is the person you look at in the mirror. Self-confidence is a tough one for many of us here in recovery-world. I wish you healing and continued recovery.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
not enough for whom and what?
when i feel that way, often i find it helpful to set a small goal, just one or two little things i want to accomplish that day, small enough so that it is doable quite easily but still requires "making myself" get to it.
when i feel that way, often i find it helpful to set a small goal, just one or two little things i want to accomplish that day, small enough so that it is doable quite easily but still requires "making myself" get to it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
I don't know if you need to hear this, but feeling worthless is a symptom of depression. It's not necessarily indicative of what you really feel about yourself.
Even if you relapsed, that doesn't make you worthless nor does it make worthlessness your actual self-image. In fact, I would argue that if you were drinking heavily recently, your brain is probably out of whack. The stuff is a nasty cocktail for our brain chemistry.
You're not worthless, lisalily. Especially if you're here.
Even if you relapsed, that doesn't make you worthless nor does it make worthlessness your actual self-image. In fact, I would argue that if you were drinking heavily recently, your brain is probably out of whack. The stuff is a nasty cocktail for our brain chemistry.
You're not worthless, lisalily. Especially if you're here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
I think you are not in a very good environment to try to get yourself right. Getting pounded with negativity constantly is just going to create negativity. You have to quit drinking and whatever for you. Is there any way you can go somewhere else at least for a while so you can get your head screwed on straight?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
I so know that feeling. It's a good emotional bottom. It helps me to do a positive thing like someone suggested. Go to a meeting, call a friend, email your doctor, post again on here. A sober friend keeps telling me to go easy on myself. I really appreciate him for that. I'll tell you the same. Being sober right now is enough. It's the absolute best thing you can do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Sometimes just doing one thing a day is a lot. Huge.
That's all is needed for an accomplishment.
Getting and staying sober is also HUGE. Concentrate
on recovery for yourself and the rest will follow.
That's all is needed for an accomplishment.
Getting and staying sober is also HUGE. Concentrate
on recovery for yourself and the rest will follow.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Surrendered19 
I'm sorry you are feeling that way Lisalily. Are you sober and otherwise on a healthy road? I hope you remember in the dark times that only you can determine your own worth. Another's opinion - even your husband's - on your worth or whether you've done enough can be very hurtful, self-serving and most times inaccurate. The only opinion that really matters is the person you look at in the mirror. Self-confidence is a tough one for many of us here in recovery-world. I wish you healing and continued recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
I so know that feeling. It's a good emotional bottom. It helps me to do a positive thing like someone suggested. Go to a meeting, call a friend, email your doctor, post again on here. A sober friend keeps telling me to go easy on myself. I really appreciate him for that. I'll tell you the same. Being sober right now is enough. It's the absolute best thing you can do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe
I don't know if you need to hear this, but feeling worthless is a symptom of depression. It's not necessarily indicative of what you really feel about yourself.
Even if you relapsed, that doesn't make you worthless nor does it make worthlessness your actual self-image. In fact, I would argue that if you were drinking heavily recently, your brain is probably out of whack. The stuff is a nasty cocktail for our brain chemistry.
You're not worthless, lisalily. Especially if you're here.
Even if you relapsed, that doesn't make you worthless nor does it make worthlessness your actual self-image. In fact, I would argue that if you were drinking heavily recently, your brain is probably out of whack. The stuff is a nasty cocktail for our brain chemistry.
You're not worthless, lisalily. Especially if you're here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by tomls
I think you are not in a very good environment to try to get yourself right. Getting pounded with negativity constantly is just going to create negativity. You have to quit drinking and whatever for you. Is there any way you can go somewhere else at least for a while so you can get your head screwed on straight?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
I'm 52 days sober Lisalily and can relate to the feelings of worthlessness. To have them reinforced by another is cruel, hurtful, and he'd know that.
I'm trying to achieve just one small thing a day, even writing a list.
. It helps.
I live alone Lisalily so do not have the constant reinforcement you are facing. If it we're me I'd be trying to find a therapist, AA meetings, anything that helps to reinforce your worth.
Surround yourself with people who see your good.
I'm trying to achieve just one small thing a day, even writing a list.
. It helps. I live alone Lisalily so do not have the constant reinforcement you are facing. If it we're me I'd be trying to find a therapist, AA meetings, anything that helps to reinforce your worth.
Surround yourself with people who see your good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
80 days is an amazing accomplishment (36 for me). I can only assume you’re a very strong person because personally I don’t think I would last with someone harping on me like that. You deserve so much more.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Originally Posted by Lisalily
Anytime I feel like I’m doing well he seems to have the perfect timing of lashing out on me and telling all the things I’ve done wrong recently and in the past as well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by fini
not enough for whom and what?
when i feel that way, often i find it helpful to set a small goal, just one or two little things i want to accomplish that day, small enough so that it is doable quite easily but still requires "making myself" get to it.
when i feel that way, often i find it helpful to set a small goal, just one or two little things i want to accomplish that day, small enough so that it is doable quite easily but still requires "making myself" get to it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
Nope, nope, nope. 80 days sober is not a worthless day. Please dont let anyone else determine your worth. Life is too short for all that!
I find making a gratitude list ALWAYS lifts my spirits. Please dont stay in this dark mindset for long. Eventually it will bring you back to a drink and that is a worthless day.
Straighten your crown, and be proud of your accomplishments
I find making a gratitude list ALWAYS lifts my spirits. Please dont stay in this dark mindset for long. Eventually it will bring you back to a drink and that is a worthless day.
Straighten your crown, and be proud of your accomplishments
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