I have a year sober - wild.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I have a year sober - wild.
Hi guys,
I just wanted to make a post since I reached a year of sobriety yesterday. I didn't dwell on it too hard, because I didn't want it to feel like a destination I'd finally reached; rather, I wanted it to feel like another day sober as I continue on this journey for the rest of my life. My story isn't anything special, but I'd like to share for whoever would like to read it.
I never really thought I would get this far, to be honest. I had tried to quit before and nothing stuck, but I am thankfully young enough that my body gave me a few more chances. As many say here, those are not infinite. There are definitely times I should have died, whether due to the alcohol or my actions as a result of the alcohol. When I was actively drinking, I didn't really see anything outside my narrow view; I guess I had just resigned to living that way in the hopes that I'd someday grow out of it. Of course, alcoholism doesn't work that way.
When I finally decided enough was enough, I had just gotten dumped in an incredibly embarrassing way, and found myself screaming in my car on the way to the liquor store. I was sick every day, throwing up in the mornings only to drink again that night. My apartment was littered with wine boxes, bottles, fifths of vodka, rum, or whatever else I decided wasn't that bad to drink straight. I'm pretty sure my liver hurt, but I was too scared to find out for sure. I didn't know that night would be my last time drinking, but the next morning when I woke up I felt a strange sense of peace and knew I was done.
I came back here, reading all day, every day. Posting when the embarrassment subsided. I went back to AA - a really good group of people to whom I had cried in front of only two months prior in my second or third attempt to quit. I listened, I shared, I came early to make coffee and friends. I checked in on my sobriety app every day, reflecting on how I was feeling and watching that day count go up. I doubled down in therapy, digging deeply into myself and striving to improve every day. Those days turned into weeks, which turned into months, and now here we are. A year later.
It has been hard. I've had cravings, stress, grief, that all tested my sobriety. But you know, you can do things you never thought possible, and you can do them sober. I have managed to surprise myself time and time again. I still have bad days, sometimes more than I'd like. It has been hard, but it's also been amazing.
As I mentioned, I don't want this to feel like a destination. I have reached a year, but I'm extending that lease on sobriety at least another five. Hopefully one day I can say I will have it for the rest of my life.
I don't know what the next year will bring, or even tomorrow. All I have is today, the situations that are presented to me, and the control of what I do with them.
I can't thank this forum enough for the support I've been given over the past year. All of you are wonderful people and I will never forget that. For people still struggling or wondering if they can/should quit - it can be done. My life is already better in ways I couldn't have imagined. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I realized and decided what I'm going to do for my future and applied for graduate school. I bought a car. I cut out friends who were toxic, made new ones, and feel at peace in my own company.
I'll leave it here so I don't crank it up to 1000 dramatic energy, but just know that I am very proud, and very grateful.
Thanks everybody.
I just wanted to make a post since I reached a year of sobriety yesterday. I didn't dwell on it too hard, because I didn't want it to feel like a destination I'd finally reached; rather, I wanted it to feel like another day sober as I continue on this journey for the rest of my life. My story isn't anything special, but I'd like to share for whoever would like to read it.
I never really thought I would get this far, to be honest. I had tried to quit before and nothing stuck, but I am thankfully young enough that my body gave me a few more chances. As many say here, those are not infinite. There are definitely times I should have died, whether due to the alcohol or my actions as a result of the alcohol. When I was actively drinking, I didn't really see anything outside my narrow view; I guess I had just resigned to living that way in the hopes that I'd someday grow out of it. Of course, alcoholism doesn't work that way.
When I finally decided enough was enough, I had just gotten dumped in an incredibly embarrassing way, and found myself screaming in my car on the way to the liquor store. I was sick every day, throwing up in the mornings only to drink again that night. My apartment was littered with wine boxes, bottles, fifths of vodka, rum, or whatever else I decided wasn't that bad to drink straight. I'm pretty sure my liver hurt, but I was too scared to find out for sure. I didn't know that night would be my last time drinking, but the next morning when I woke up I felt a strange sense of peace and knew I was done.
I came back here, reading all day, every day. Posting when the embarrassment subsided. I went back to AA - a really good group of people to whom I had cried in front of only two months prior in my second or third attempt to quit. I listened, I shared, I came early to make coffee and friends. I checked in on my sobriety app every day, reflecting on how I was feeling and watching that day count go up. I doubled down in therapy, digging deeply into myself and striving to improve every day. Those days turned into weeks, which turned into months, and now here we are. A year later.
It has been hard. I've had cravings, stress, grief, that all tested my sobriety. But you know, you can do things you never thought possible, and you can do them sober. I have managed to surprise myself time and time again. I still have bad days, sometimes more than I'd like. It has been hard, but it's also been amazing.
As I mentioned, I don't want this to feel like a destination. I have reached a year, but I'm extending that lease on sobriety at least another five. Hopefully one day I can say I will have it for the rest of my life.
I don't know what the next year will bring, or even tomorrow. All I have is today, the situations that are presented to me, and the control of what I do with them. I can't thank this forum enough for the support I've been given over the past year. All of you are wonderful people and I will never forget that. For people still struggling or wondering if they can/should quit - it can be done. My life is already better in ways I couldn't have imagined. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I realized and decided what I'm going to do for my future and applied for graduate school. I bought a car. I cut out friends who were toxic, made new ones, and feel at peace in my own company.
I'll leave it here so I don't crank it up to 1000 dramatic energy, but just know that I am very proud, and very grateful.
Thanks everybody.
Keep going!
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Fantastic, dpac. I’m also at a year. I get what you’re saying about not wanting to think of it as a destination. One year is absolutely something to be proud of, but that was the warm up lap around the track. Might as well keep going, right? Anyway, on to year two. .
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