Stable

D122y

I decided to flip the switch and become a born again proud non drinker.

Drinking was part of my Dad's world. He allowed me to drink to a very high level of intoxication at a very young age. Never directly in front of him, but he and everyone knew. It is easy to spot an intoxicated 6 year old.

So, I drank for decades without any real regard to the long term impact of being a drunk.

My body was slowly failing. All the signs of diabetes etc. Everything was a physical mess. Mentally is where I finally lost it. I started having brain issues that only went away with a certain amount of boozing.

It was an impossible balancing act. The correct answer, for me and anyone that wants to be normal, was to quit.

Suffering was my go to feeling. I had to be a big boy and deal with it. I trick my brain and get high on life now. Exercise, gratitude, doing nice things (like this), and projects are my go to moves.

It is all about dopamine, endorphins, adrenalin, and internally produced melatonin. Think about how an 8 year old is happy for no damn reason. That is natural opiates at work.

I just recently started to pull free from the wreckage hole of my death spiral crash. As I start to break free from the gravity of my addiction, my av says...it is time to start again.

Lol!

That is how it works. Addict for life. I am a damn proud, born again, non drinker.

Hope this helps you and someone somehow.

The internet and SR saved my sorry soul.

Sincerely.

Thanks.

faith823

Hi,

Day four. Good job posting when the craving hits. Read your previous posts.
Go get an ice-cream. Get cozy and google alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

Can you get to a meeting tonight? I know I always wished I could drink in moderation. I can not. But if I could drink in moderation I don't think my brain would get the false chemically induced euphoria it experiences with my current addicted brain. Which inter turns to a terribly sick mind/soul/body. I am not sure if I am portraying my point correctly. I want more because I can not leave it. If I could take it or leave it and drink moderately I think I would be indifferent to the way I feel about it. I would not consider myself "lucky" to be able to have a few drinks. I would be indifferent but I will never really know. That is why sober people are so incredibly grateful when they can live a life free of bondage of alcohol. Don't mind my jumble thoughts.. I hope you can at least get an idea of what I mean.

Great job- on 4 keep going this craving will pass

suki44883

Cravings will come, but only last a few minutes. The suggestion of eating ice cream is a great one. Instead of buying alcohol, stock your freezer with your favorite flavors of ice cream. It will give your body the sugar it is craving and by the time you finish a nice big bowl, the craving will be gone.

Congrats on day 4.

least

I used to try to moderate my drinking. It was very hard and frustrating. It is easier for me, by far, to not drink at all.

Anna

I think you will find that stopping drinking completely is easier than thinking about and planning how to moderate your drinking. Day 4 is great! Keep going!

doggonecarl

Squash those thoughts or you'll be posting another Day 1.

Everybody who has acquired any sober time has suffered the same craving you are suffering and gotten through it. So can you.

DriGuy

^this

Stable

DriGuy

Actually, whisky literally down the drain.

Been there myself until I finally came to understand that I would never drink in moderation. You don't need to understand why. You just need to realize you won't. At that point you are ready to try abstinence as unappealing, unsatisfying, and totally inconvenient as it sounds. It's a sentence worst than death, never again living your life in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment. It's worse than not being able to play quarterback for the San Fransisco 49ers, or being able to run Microsoft for Bill Gates. There are similarities to these goals. You can't drink for enjoyment, be a NFL quarterback, or run Microsoft, because you totally suck at all of them.

I fully realize how bad that sounds, but you might as well quit complaining. You're not going to succeed at any of those. Maybe you will have to settle for just a normal life, a happy life. This is hard because you don't know what it's like. We waste our time looking for the easier softer way, and contrary to what that implies, it's available. We just don't recognize that such a way doesn't involve drinking, either insanely or in moderation.

You'll get it. Just stop fighting. Quit chasing the unicorn.

AnvilheadII

I do wish I was able to successfully drink in moderation.

no you don't, not really. there is no greater hell than having to STOP at two drinks. might as well have been a teaspoon.

if you want to moderate, how about this? one drink every one hundred years. so you can have your next drink on 12/19/2119!!! there ya go.

meanwhile, start enjoying all the gifts of being sober. our Least often recommends a gratitude list, which is a most excellent suggestion. remember alcohol was the prison. many trying to get sober see sobriety as punishment. it's not, it's FREEDOM.

Dee74

you can't tho.

Its obvious to me and must be to you too when you think about or re-read your old threads.

Giving up the dream of drinking in moderation frees you up for the endless possibilities of recovery.

what would a sober life you love look like to you? Rhetorical question but one worth thinking about, Stable

D

Stable

faith823

If you stay sober a day at a time. Life is one big opportunity.

being drunk gave me one option. Drunk and stuck.

Dee74

a laudable goal

not drinking, you have every change in the world of achieving that dream...

drinking? no chance

D

Wastinglife

It's commendable that you are able to pour the booze down the sink. I was never able to do that.

Hodd

SoberRican

Day 4 for me I was still a wreck. I gave or it got took the last 12 pack I had with a beer missing out of it. My mama took the beer and got rid of it. Thats a good mama. She was my savior. I think she when she seen the look on my face that I was broken. Defeated.sick. she thought to herself. Finally . I sat in my room for 4 or 5 days going thru the motions I was sick. Scary sick. But while upstairs before I climbed in the bed I litterly dropped to my knees and begged my higher power to give me a chance to redeem myself. I give all I got to him. A hot mess. Closed with an amen. And layed down. I feel he sensed I was as sincere with my plead. Yes I'm sure we all done it after a night of boozing swearing to stop. Then turn and do it again. But this one . this one really got his attention. So slowly but surely things started to change. Fam that was 233 days ago. So yes this ia real. You my friend if you stick with it. You will be forever greatful I promise you. ✌

Surrendered19

A house, a wife, a housewife, or a househusband and - ahem - kids. All of those are a recipe for severe money worries. LOL!!! But sober, you have a shot at having all of those things, including the joy and happiness that come with all of that. Drinking you will never have any of it, and every drink you take from this day forward will move you further and further away from whatever it is that would make you happy.

Houndheart

Yep, I kept trying to moderate. And I found that Miss Moderation was a tricky beatch to dance with. And she lies. She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing because inside of her is the AV devil working at getting you to fall back into the heavy out of control drinking once again. She’s no lady, and I refuse to fill her dance card any longer.
Good luck to you.
I know you can do it.
Keep coming back. This place saved me.