teatreeoil007

It's been over four years of sobriety now....wow...

At first, I didn't want anything to do with "a plan". I felt it was too restricting and cramped my lifestyle. But drinking was cramping my lifestyle in a different, worse way. For so long I didn't think I needed a plan. I worked, I paid the bills, things were going just fine...then again...maybe they weren't going as "fine" as I thought they were....I

I do not know if it's just me getting a bit older that has made me realize I need to have a plan for each day....or I can slide right back into complacency and we all know that's not good.

The plan does not have to be "fancy". It can be basic. I have found if I keep it simple, I am more likely to follow the plan for the day and feel good about it at the end of the day! If the plan is not realistic, I'm more likely to abandon the plan, give up, and not feel so good at the end of the day.

Are there days when I don't make a very good plan? You bet. But my best bet is have a good plan - be realistic -proceed...have a plan for what to do if your plan goes off course.

How do you feel about plans? Feel free to share what works for you. As a good buddy of ours we've gone on some back country trips with has said: "Having no plan is a plan for failure"
.

Atlast9999

Dee74

Thank guys.

I'm a firm believer in plans.

forewarned is forearmed
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

D

teatreeoil007

Algorithms, perhaps?

This is what I'm thinking of. I've had to learn various algorithms with my profession..maybe that is why I rebelled at first about "having a plan".

I don't want to deal with plan A and plan B, etc, on my days off. But, those are perhaps the days I need it the MOST.

Surrendered19

This is all new to me, but I have started to think about a daily plan, especially during my craving time. At first that was a window from about 3-8 p.m. but it has shrunk some, now 4-6 or so? Those are the hours that, at least for the foreseeable future, I will have a full schedule for. Longer term I need to figure out why I was an addict for so many years and what made me vulnerable to that. Was it physical? Genetic? Environmental? All of the above? I am going to explore all of that in order to keep updating my daily plan and my long term plan.

teatreeoil007

Good you're already thinking about this, surrendered! I think there is a big reason for the whole "happy hour" thing....because those places of business know that is a "weak" time of day for many people.....

And....for many people they can just drink on some days and not even think about it or have cravings much at all, for more MANY years.

But, alcohol consumption can creep up on a person....before one knows it they can go from a few beers a week to a few beers a day and the more they consume, the more they need to get that same feeling of "feeling good" that got them drawn to alcohol in the first place.

Alcoholism is a deceitful, progressive, tenacious beast. You know all this and that's why you're here, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know....just want to send some encouragement your way...

Plans are not boring or stuffy. I need them to stay on track. Get off track, I'm in dangerous complacent territory.

teatreeoil007

by- Dan Seals

My Mind is made up.
I ain't gonna live this way.
Gonna stop this worrying.
Gonna Chase those blues away
It's been hard, but it's Gonna Be Easy Now.

Been sitting up wide awake,
Thinking about what will be.
Got to make some changes,
Before it gets the best of me.
It's been hard,..... but it's Gonna Be Easy Now

(chorus)
Well what you gonna do when the well runs dry?
I'll wait for the Rain to fall.
What are you gonna do when the crops don't rise?
I won't have to work at all.
What are you gonna do when the creek gets high?
I'm still making up my mind.
What are you gonna do when the sun don't shine?
I'll lay right down and die......
And then everything will be alright.

My Mind is made up,
Problems won't go away.
Their just gonna change their shapes.
Gonna carry on anyway...
It's been hard....oh but you know,
It's gonna be easy now.


Here's a song that goes a little bit like an algorithm, I guess. What if this and what if that....I think the "gist" of the song is a way of dealing with excessive worry and anxiety. If one can put it in a song and sing about the bluesy stuff it may lesson said anxiety. But these kinds of questions were very REAL worries for some of our ancestors. I grew up around a lot of old abandoned homesteads. A lot of those folks didn't make it. The ones who did most likely had plans for the what if's.

But I'm not real crazy about some of those answers. "I won't have to work at all?"....how realistic is that? I get that there are folks who don't have to work, but most grown ups do....

August252015

Yep, also a believer in all variations and meanings of the word plan. Including when I plan not to have one.

I always tell folks that when I stopped drinking, not only did I start AA (my recovery plan, or program) but I literally had daily to do lists. And they were VERY basic, like 1 eat twice 2 make the bed 3 shower. Increments were essential.

Life expanded and is totally different now. But having a fundamental program (AA), and "plans" whether scheduling a friend dinner every couple of wks or a meeting or now PT for my back, or knowing that Sun afternoon is time with my husband or....that's how I keep life moving along, as far as the parts I can control

Plans can always be changed. Tho learning to make and keep them has been an important part of my practical as well as larger picture recovery life.

DriGuy

teatreeoil007,

Maybe I'm a bit off track, but reading your post made me start thinking about small plans in addition to the more grandiose general plans like, "I will become a better happier person." The gurus always talk about setting goals, but it shouldn't require a guru to point that out.

So I cruised through the responses to make sure I wouldn't mention something that had already been covered. I was doing good until I got to August who blatantly stole my thunder. August and I think a lot alike (except when we don't think alike at all). So more about those daily lists:

A list is a plan. I don't actually do them daily, but I did one yesterday for today. It's easy to get overwhelmed with things you have to do, especially things that you need to do, but don't really want to. In the worst situations, I can feel vastly overwhelmed, and then I make a list, which oddly usually isn't as long as what it seemed like before I got out the paper and pencil.

Then I go about accomplishing one list item at a time, and I literally cross it off the list. I find this satisfying to watch those things get done, but perhaps the best part is that it takes me out of my head and gets me engaged with my actual environment in an organized way. It's good to get out of your head, and as an extra benefit, you actually get things done. Quite satisfying.

Without a formal list, it's easy to get stuck in your head. A plan is basically a list you make. Plans redirect your mind, and following them puts you on a path that actually goes somewhere. Not everyone ends up in the same place, and I'm very happy about that, because I hate crowds.

August252015

Bwahahaha, DriGuy. I'm totally with you on this one

Lists are life. Ok, maybe that's a bit extreme, but they are essential to me and making them and crossing things off Feels.So.Good! I actually keep a big, spiral planner. None of that phone calendar stuff for me. We now call it the HDP - "Holy Day Planner." I bought the first one (to start in July) that first sober spring and have gotten a different patterned cover of the same kind each year since.

One thing lists and planning do for me is huge - I write something down to do at noon, Mon, for example, and then I don't have to think about it til Mon morning when I am looking at the day ahead because I already wrote it down. That takes stress off. I put things down way ahead of time, even stuff I know I do every Tu morning at 730, for example, like the same AA mtg.

Everyone talks about different kinds of recovery plan and program stuff. One thing that I hear many people in AA and in other recovery work talk about is routine - which is another word for plan. The morning routine I have around 4-5 things that are recovery specific has been central to my whole deal since the first summer I was sober and my first sponsor told me to read certain pages from the Big Book every morning. I added on a few other things (including an SR session).

I needed order and structure back in my life when I quit drinking and sometimes, just knowing that I have "saved plans" for daily life in case I'm struggling one day makes that day OK.

teatreeoil007

Thx so much for your post.

I do well with lists too. I LOVE the concept of getting out of my head. Yes!! You said it much better than I even thought it.

Some days....I think about all I want to get done (which can be a lot) so then I kind of go...."Ok....maybe I need to prioritize a little more here and stick to the things I need to get done (today)" .

It CAN be overwhelming at times; especially this time of year. For me it's scaling it back once again each day to one day at a time....even an hour at a time in some cases....and not get ahead of myself.

brighterday1234

teatreeoil007

Over the weekend my plans were pretty basic. They had to be...because I was sick Thurs. and Fri. and needed to recoup some more. So, I tried to keep it as basic as possible. I got plenty of rest, drank plenty of fluids, went to bed earlier than usual. Finished reading a book I had shelved for a long time.

For some reason the word "simplify" came up. Keep it simple, keep it basic for those days in which I'm not up to par.

PhoenixJ

A plan helps me heaps...

teatreeoil007

Yes, routine!

The older I get the more likely I am to get distracted and veer off course....the meandering mind of the artist...uggh....those creative moments can be wonderful at times...but at other times they can ambush your recovery plan for the day.

So, one thing about routine that has been so sooo helpful for me is to have a really good solid bedtime routine. I have battled with insomnia for years....it's gotten much better in recovery, especially within the last year or so. That may just be part of my brain improving too...but I truly truly NEED my bedtime routine; it's essential.

teatreeoil007

We can learn a lot by observing our pets.

Our cat has routines he goes through each day. I think it's his way of maintaining equilibrium in his kitty cat life. At certain times he goes outside to scout his "territory" and make sure all is well. Then he'll come back in and crawl up on my husband's chest for about 10 minutes. Then he has certain places in the house he will go to on a regular basis and settle in for cat nap.

In the afternoons he will climb up and sit on my lap for about 10 minutes, then he hops down and goes through the rest of his routine. I just crack up that he'll sit on my lap for 10 minutes...I can almost set a timer to that..then he's had enough and he's down again. He's got his day mapped out pretty much. He does NOT like it when his routine is interrupted and he doesn't like change. His needs are simple and basic. He's not high maintenance...but he does need his routine.

Sushiroll

The only plan I ever had was to be home by 5pm to drink.
My current plan is to walk my dogs at 5pm then eat.
This is a great thread btw.

August252015

Teatree - learning a bed time routine helps me too - sleep continues to be an ongoing *issue* here a bit into my sober life. These days, it's usually around 8p that I take my melatonin (and then a bit later a sleep med, if I am going to) and wash my face etc, and probably decide to watch one show episode of something with my husband, and move to the bedroom 9-930, that kind of thing.

And what you said about simplifying is another reason a list or a plan is great - no matter how bad a day is, we can reduce our list or plan to ONE thing, don't drink, and the day is a 100% victory. Some days, it is really that basic - and significant when we view it that way.

I've learned a lot along the way - and I bet I will learn more- about my capacity to handle and execute long lists, short plans, everything in between. It varies, and that's not just ok, it helps keeps me balanced. Expressions like "keeping it between the guard rails" come to mind when talking about plans and structure, as this is the kind of stuff that helps an alcoholic like me keep myself from veering all over the road.

HeadEast

You may be on to something here. Get it patented while you still can.

SoberCAH

I plan for things I will do.

I don't plan for how I will feel (e.g. I will be happy). In AA, we work the 12 Steps, not the Promises.

Although I have objectives (staying sober, first and foremost), I don't plan for results (e.g, I will have money) - to me, that's God's job.

It bothers me to see hopeful and well-intended people try to get sober without a plan.

A few rare ones seem to succeed, but not many.

Great topic.