Av
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Av
Hey, so just over 2 weeks in, no physical cravings but AV is trying to make an appearance, it's so annoying!! I just keep thinking about future events & the temptation to drink & just the worry of feeling like that!! Do u guys just take it 1 day at a time or really plan ahead.
I'm just terrified of failing AGAIN!!
I've dealt with some very sad stories this weekend in terms of addiction ( I'm an emergency service worker) which I guess has just made me think more about booze, albeit the absolute tragedy that it brings to everyone around it!
I'm journaling, reading & watching recovery programmes, plus I'm back running....any other helpful ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks for listening
I'm just terrified of failing AGAIN!!
I've dealt with some very sad stories this weekend in terms of addiction ( I'm an emergency service worker) which I guess has just made me think more about booze, albeit the absolute tragedy that it brings to everyone around it!
I'm journaling, reading & watching recovery programmes, plus I'm back running....any other helpful ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks for listening
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
the way I look at it we all live life one day at a time LuluBread - we can think ahead & plan sure but to worry is useless...there's always things you can only deal with as and when they come up.
I didn't have much faith I could stay sober in the beginning...but I changed...and those things I thought I'd nmever do sober, I did.
Have faith LB - you can do this
D
I didn't have much faith I could stay sober in the beginning...but I changed...and those things I thought I'd nmever do sober, I did.
Have faith LB - you can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 67
Hi LouLou!
Im only a week ahead of you, and have had similar experiences with AV making uninvited appearances in an otherwise good day. I was really afraid of them at first, but now that I’ve had three weeks of telling them to f*** off I am more confident that I can get through them. I hear they decrease as time goes on for most people.
I started paying attention to the details around mine- what time of day they happen, possible triggers, how long they last, etc so I can avoid them where possible. For me, I get the cravings about 4pm on a sunny day, especially when I’m outside gardening because that’s when I would preciously have started. For the last week I’ve tried to do my gardening early and be out of the house running errands at 4pm, so by the time I get home it’s time to start dinner. Once I’m through with that and settling in for the evening, the cravings are gone. I think it’s all about forming new habits to replace the old, rather than just trying to bear the cravings.
Im only a week ahead of you, and have had similar experiences with AV making uninvited appearances in an otherwise good day. I was really afraid of them at first, but now that I’ve had three weeks of telling them to f*** off I am more confident that I can get through them. I hear they decrease as time goes on for most people.
I started paying attention to the details around mine- what time of day they happen, possible triggers, how long they last, etc so I can avoid them where possible. For me, I get the cravings about 4pm on a sunny day, especially when I’m outside gardening because that’s when I would preciously have started. For the last week I’ve tried to do my gardening early and be out of the house running errands at 4pm, so by the time I get home it’s time to start dinner. Once I’m through with that and settling in for the evening, the cravings are gone. I think it’s all about forming new habits to replace the old, rather than just trying to bear the cravings.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Through the lens of AVRT( great threads here on SR in the Secular Recovery forum) sensing /'having' AV is no impediment to your ability to abstain. You could 'have' AV for the rest of your life and still be able to live comfortably , for the rest of your life, abstaining.
All it takes is to make the decision to Quit and make it 'all the way down', pledge to yourself that you will never drink again , anything ( thought or feeling or doubt in your ability to hold yourself to that pledge) that contradicts that pledge is AV, and therefore totally ignorable
AV is also the idea that 'having' AV is somehow a sign that future drinking is inevitable. 'Having' AV isn't a problem if you make the decision and pledge to yourself to never change your mind , your pledge will actually highlight and isolate the 'otherness' , not "me"-ness of AV. If you make a pledge to yourself to never drink again and thoughts of future , more booze percolate to the surface, they can't be coming from You, because your decision is You, the idea of going against the pledge has to be coming from not You , but from It.
It has no arms or legs, It can't buy alcohol , IT needs You to get some for It. IT has to convince You the idea for more booze is your idea, which it isn't because of the decision You made.
The plan You decided on ( the Big Plan in AVRT) is Never again, any notion of more can't be coming from You, the plan itself allows us to identify AV.
Identify It, separate from It and ignore It, It is not You, You have decided to become , once again, the teetotaler you were born. It can pound sand, You don't drink , yeah ?
It can be annoying but like a tantrum throwing child , It can't get what It wants unless you decide to act for It. And like a spoiled whining child the more it gets ignored the less the whining becomes, the more you get accustom to It and the less noticeable It becomes.
Make the decision to quit for good, once and for all, and the idea for more can't be You , having or hearing AV isn't what 'makes' You have more booze. IT needs You think that is the case, It needs You to get more, but You are done, too bad for It
All it takes is to make the decision to Quit and make it 'all the way down', pledge to yourself that you will never drink again , anything ( thought or feeling or doubt in your ability to hold yourself to that pledge) that contradicts that pledge is AV, and therefore totally ignorable
AV is also the idea that 'having' AV is somehow a sign that future drinking is inevitable. 'Having' AV isn't a problem if you make the decision and pledge to yourself to never change your mind , your pledge will actually highlight and isolate the 'otherness' , not "me"-ness of AV. If you make a pledge to yourself to never drink again and thoughts of future , more booze percolate to the surface, they can't be coming from You, because your decision is You, the idea of going against the pledge has to be coming from not You , but from It.
It has no arms or legs, It can't buy alcohol , IT needs You to get some for It. IT has to convince You the idea for more booze is your idea, which it isn't because of the decision You made.
The plan You decided on ( the Big Plan in AVRT) is Never again, any notion of more can't be coming from You, the plan itself allows us to identify AV.
Identify It, separate from It and ignore It, It is not You, You have decided to become , once again, the teetotaler you were born. It can pound sand, You don't drink , yeah ?
It can be annoying but like a tantrum throwing child , It can't get what It wants unless you decide to act for It. And like a spoiled whining child the more it gets ignored the less the whining becomes, the more you get accustom to It and the less noticeable It becomes.
Make the decision to quit for good, once and for all, and the idea for more can't be You , having or hearing AV isn't what 'makes' You have more booze. IT needs You think that is the case, It needs You to get more, but You are done, too bad for It
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by loulou1981 
I'm journaling, reading & watching recovery programmes, plus I'm back running...
Congrats on 2 weeks!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by loulou1981
any other helpful ideas would be appreciated.
If I understanding the OP, you are asking how you deal with the AV. For me, the trick was just ignoring it much like I did with cravings. Although, unlike cravings which are in your face obsessions in the early days, the AV is just irrational thoughts like a last ditch effort to avoid recovery. It presents flawed arguments that utilize logical fallacies to sound reasonable, all with the goal of convincing us that drinking doesn't hurt.
I'm also wondering how you never had cravings for alcohol. I don't think I've ever known an alcoholic that didn't experience cravings during early withdrawal. I think the AV is different than cravings, because it's more of like flawed thinking, rather than an obsession.
If your AV is driving you nuts, it may be that they are actual cravings. But all this is talking about definitions, and misses the point. If you desire recovery, the main thing is not to drink. While this is obvious, it's the behavior that always leads us to fail. This is where the AA bumper sticker, "Keep it Simple." comes in IMO. Even though alcoholics like to say, "Keep it simple," we constantly have to add mental gymnastics and semantics to what we need to do: Just Don't Pick Up the Bottle!
dwtbd's explanation of the AV is a goldmine of information about how it operates, and what you need to do to get past it. His post deserves careful study, and rereading. It's an excellent summary, I think. Also, google AVRT or read about it on one SR's links.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Thanks for the responses & yes, ur totally right, I choose to drink or not & AV is not a person nor is it my mind, it's just a ridiculous thought that I can & will ignore, it needs to **** off!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by loulou1981
Thanks for the responses & yes, ur totally right, I choose to drink or not & AV is not a person nor is it my mind, it's just a ridiculous thought that I can & will ignore, it needs to **** off!!
When I first quit, I was mostly afraid that I would fall back into the habit. Later, when I had outgrew the cravings, my AV is what scared me the most. I was quick enough to recognize it, but for brief second that thought that I was doing so well and that I could now have a couple of drinks, seemed so overwhelming logical that it scared the be-jabbers out of me. I would realize I was walking on a knife's edge, and that I was just a logical fallacy away from a drink.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
