Struggling today :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
Struggling today :(
Feeling really angry today & can’t stop memories flying through my head. I’m physically stopping myself from going and having it out with people who used to be friends (I know I need to find myself a sponsor and work through the steps as I did wrong too) I just want to blank out and stop the anger. My AV is saying just a small bottle of vodka but I really don’t want to drink I really don’t ..... I’ve come too far at nearly 5 weeks.
Sorry for waffling just needed to type. Think its best I take my doggies out for a walk. Thank you!
Sorry for waffling just needed to type. Think its best I take my doggies out for a walk. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I totally relate to where you are. I can go down an anger resentment rabbit hole if I let myself. Totally useless way to think...but so hard at times. I find it is very tied to powerlessness and fear. When I work on what is driving those feelings, I find myself less angry. When I am feeling powerless in the present, I will find 'things' that made me angry and powerless from the past and just spin on them. Use-less.
And alcohol? That will just make me more angry and powerless and all victim-y. Also use-less.
Can't go under it, or over it. Just through it. And you can do it sober.
And alcohol? That will just make me more angry and powerless and all victim-y. Also use-less.
Can't go under it, or over it. Just through it. And you can do it sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Well done for coming here and sharing your thoughts instead of picking up. That is amazing, please do not underestimate just how so.
I was so full of rage and anger when I got sober. I was mad at so many people and what they had "done" to me. I had to really put them out of my mind and just try and concentrate on myself and not picking up a drink one day at a time. The step 4 prayer (sick man prayer) helped me so much. When I felt so resentful and angry at people I would ask my HP to save me from being angry and to show them patience, compassion and tolerance. After all maybe they too were as spiritually sick as I was. I would pray that they would receive everything in their life that I would want in mine. Peace, serenity, love, happiness, health and wealth. It was the ONLY thing that worked for me. I was doing this for me. Not for them. I did not want these people to live rent free in my head. My resentment and anger was only hurting me not them.
When I did my step 4 and looked at myself and my wrongs, well it was a big eye opener. I trod on the toes of others and they retaliated for sure. There were some resentments I had that I genuinely had no part in and I had to pray for those people and ask my HP to allow me to show forgiveness.
I hope you feel better after the dog walk. Alcohol will only make things a million times worse as I you well know. It sounds like a great idea to get a sponsor and work through the steps.
❤🙏❤🙏
I was so full of rage and anger when I got sober. I was mad at so many people and what they had "done" to me. I had to really put them out of my mind and just try and concentrate on myself and not picking up a drink one day at a time. The step 4 prayer (sick man prayer) helped me so much. When I felt so resentful and angry at people I would ask my HP to save me from being angry and to show them patience, compassion and tolerance. After all maybe they too were as spiritually sick as I was. I would pray that they would receive everything in their life that I would want in mine. Peace, serenity, love, happiness, health and wealth. It was the ONLY thing that worked for me. I was doing this for me. Not for them. I did not want these people to live rent free in my head. My resentment and anger was only hurting me not them.
When I did my step 4 and looked at myself and my wrongs, well it was a big eye opener. I trod on the toes of others and they retaliated for sure. There were some resentments I had that I genuinely had no part in and I had to pray for those people and ask my HP to allow me to show forgiveness.
I hope you feel better after the dog walk. Alcohol will only make things a million times worse as I you well know. It sounds like a great idea to get a sponsor and work through the steps.
❤🙏❤🙏
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Great idea to take the dogs for a walk. Try to clear your head and focus on the positives. Having it out over past wrongs with people that are no longer friends won’t amount to peace. In fact I think quite the opposite. Needless to say, alcohol isn’t the answer either. Stay close to the forums for support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
Thank you so much for your replies - the voices of reason 😊 Walk helped a lot although it’s pretty dark here so wasn’t a long one. Your 100% right if I’d drunk I definitely would have gone tonight and caused a huge raucous and tomorrow morning... well ... in my sober head doesn’t bear thinking about!
Im going to make some tea and try and beat my AV over the head with some readings.
Thank you you all again.
Im going to make some tea and try and beat my AV over the head with some readings.
Thank you you all again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Good move, alien!!
The bad news... that’s gonna happen again. We all get cravings. We all have regrets when we get sober. I had maaaannnyyyy, still have a few.
The good news? Work a recovery plan and that all gets much much easier to overcome. If your plan is as, when you do the steps the promises come true. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it happens.
You can do this!
The bad news... that’s gonna happen again. We all get cravings. We all have regrets when we get sober. I had maaaannnyyyy, still have a few.
The good news? Work a recovery plan and that all gets much much easier to overcome. If your plan is as, when you do the steps the promises come true. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it happens.
You can do this!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
When I was in early sobriety and would get urges to drink, I would walk my dogs. We all benefited from the fresh air and sunshine and exercise. And by the time we got home, I no longer wanted to drink. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Noooooooo. Don't do it. It won't help. Maybe for a second but then the demoralization. Go for a run. Take a cold shower. Get a tattoo. Pierce something. Bake a cake. Pick weeds off the sidewalk...Go to a meeting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
Well done rainbowalien (love the name by the way).
I walked my dog so many miles in the first few months that he use to see the lead and hide!
And I never took any form of money with me in case I got tempted to cave.
Hope today is better.
I walked my dog so many miles in the first few months that he use to see the lead and hide!
And I never took any form of money with me in case I got tempted to cave.
Hope today is better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
Feeling lots more positive today 😊 had a solid nights sleep. Woke up early & took the doggies out and have done my circuit training.
Thanks for helping me through. SR & SR family are pretty blooming awesome 👏
Pressme - Tattoo! Fantastic idea! I’ve been wanting a new one. Maybe something to remind me to stay sane and sober. Brilliant!!!
Thanks for helping me through. SR & SR family are pretty blooming awesome 👏
Pressme - Tattoo! Fantastic idea! I’ve been wanting a new one. Maybe something to remind me to stay sane and sober. Brilliant!!!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
A bit of exercise like walking the dogs is a great way to get some temporary relief. To get permanent relief attention is probably required in other areas. AA was the path I chose. I have noticed that some people get to take their time getting active with the program, some never do and still seem to stay sober. And some, like me, have a very short window of opportunity to get cracking in before the obsession returns. Everyone is different. My window last time was three weeks. That is to say that after three weeks of a half hearted attendance at a few meetings, and following none of the suggestions, I found myself off on a four day bender. It was only supposed to be a couple of beers. That is what happens with me when the crazy obsession returns,
After that experience I got busy doing just what you proposed, finding a sponsor and working the steps. The formula of 12 steps in 12 weeks, although slow by the standards of the early days, seems to have done the trick. It has been quite a while since the obsession was removed, and it hasn't come back.
After that experience I got busy doing just what you proposed, finding a sponsor and working the steps. The formula of 12 steps in 12 weeks, although slow by the standards of the early days, seems to have done the trick. It has been quite a while since the obsession was removed, and it hasn't come back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
A bit of exercise like walking the dogs is a great way to get some temporary relief. To get permanent relief attention is probably required in other areas. AA was the path I chose. I have noticed that some people get to take their time getting active with the program, some never do and still seem to stay sober. And some, like me, have a very short window of opportunity to get cracking in before the obsession returns. Everyone is different. My window last time was three weeks. That is to say that after three weeks of a half hearted attendance at a few meetings, and following none of the suggestions, I found myself off on a four day bender. It was only supposed to be a couple of beers. That is what happens with me when the crazy obsession returns,
After that experience I got busy doing just what you proposed, finding a sponsor and working the steps. The formula of 12 steps in 12 weeks, although slow by the standards of the early days, seems to have done the trick. It has been quite a while since the obsession was removed, and it hasn't come back.
After that experience I got busy doing just what you proposed, finding a sponsor and working the steps. The formula of 12 steps in 12 weeks, although slow by the standards of the early days, seems to have done the trick. It has been quite a while since the obsession was removed, and it hasn't come back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
What if they say no? Ask someone else! Seriously, look for the person you like what they say. They have at least a year and have done the steps. Cuz the point of having a sponsor is doing the steps, so ask someone who’s done them.
If they say no, it will have nothing to do with you (the steps will teach you this, by the way). They might not feel like sponsoring. They might have too many sponsees. They might only say yes on Wednesday’s. Who cares.
If they say no, ask if they can recommend someone who is taking sponsees.
If they say yes, you’ve got yourself a sponsor! Which is exciting and awesome! And scary as ****! And that’s ok!
There’s only one real way out of this alkie mess. Recovery. Whether aa or another way, there’s a pattern with every person I’ve ever known to have long term sobriety:
Accountability for our actions, past and present. But don’t let them own you.
Willingness to do anything and everything to stay sober. To get out of the comfort zone.
Change habits, perceptions, actions. If what we’ve done before was working, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Acceptance of alcoholism. We can’t drink, period.
You are doing great! Keep plugging. Go get that sponsor, can’t hurt!
If they say no, it will have nothing to do with you (the steps will teach you this, by the way). They might not feel like sponsoring. They might have too many sponsees. They might only say yes on Wednesday’s. Who cares.
If they say no, ask if they can recommend someone who is taking sponsees.
If they say yes, you’ve got yourself a sponsor! Which is exciting and awesome! And scary as ****! And that’s ok!
There’s only one real way out of this alkie mess. Recovery. Whether aa or another way, there’s a pattern with every person I’ve ever known to have long term sobriety:
Accountability for our actions, past and present. But don’t let them own you.
Willingness to do anything and everything to stay sober. To get out of the comfort zone.
Change habits, perceptions, actions. If what we’ve done before was working, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Acceptance of alcoholism. We can’t drink, period.
You are doing great! Keep plugging. Go get that sponsor, can’t hurt!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
How are you feeling today Rainbow? When I am angry or frustrated I have found walks and journaling helpful. If AA is helping you, then diving in a little more sounds like a good plan.
Hope you're feeling a little better today.
Hope you're feeling a little better today.
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