New Here, Need advice please
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 1
New Here, Need advice please
Let me see if I can make this as short as possible; this is in regards to my husbands youngest sister (56 years old). She is an alcoholic. She is currently living with my husbands other sister and their mother. She has depended on my sister and their mother for basically 18 years, some of the time sober but most of the time not. The alcoholic sister has been married and divorced twice. She met an awesome guy (a millionaire actually) about 8 years ago. They have been on again (when she’s in her sober time) off again when she’s drinking. He lives in Florida. My husbands mother has stage 4 breast cancer metastasized to other parts of her body, has been going through chemo and radiation and is doing fairly well right now. But is under stress that is not helping her sickness. My non alcoholic sister has real bad kidneys and may need dialysis, has a bad back, depression and is on disability. So non alcoholic sister takes care of her mother and is under terrible stress from her mom being sick and herself sick. So, the alcoholic sister has been at the Mother’s house for about 6 months this go round. The boyfriend sends her $400 a month and of course she buys alcohol with it, vodka and also wine. She is a mean drunk, actually she is mean all the time and is verbally abusive to her mom and sister. Oh and she’s not right in the head either. She and the ok sister got into it the other night, she was drunk off her butt and wanted to go drive and the ok sister hid her keys, so alcoholic sister started beating up on her sister (alcoholic sister weighs about 100 pounds and the other sister weighs twice or more). So the ok sister throws her to the floor and sits on her but in doing this she broker her arm and the alcoholic sister pulled a chunk of hair out of her sisters head all this going on while 84 year old cancer ridden mother is hiding in the bathroom with door locked! That’s just the tip of the ice berg but I’m sure y’all have heard millions of stories so I won’t bore you. I need to know how to get her out of my mother in laws house. Keep in mind, the alcoholic sister is mean and crazy so we are afraid of what she might do if/when she’s kicked out, like break windows or even try to burn the house down or physically hurt the mom or sister. This really needs to be done legally. Help please!
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,644
Hi texbeez. I can't actually figure out who is living where and what the connections are and who did what, but it certainly seems bad for all.
When there is violence involved the police should be called immediately. It is possible that might result in a restraining order which would keep the alcoholic Sister away from the others at the residence.
I would really recommend contacting a lawyer in your area. They should be able to advise you on any legal steps you could take.
You might also want to contact a senior's organization and see if they have someone you could discuss this with. Also I'm sure she has a healthcare team and a social worker might be part of that team.
When there is violence involved the police should be called immediately. It is possible that might result in a restraining order which would keep the alcoholic Sister away from the others at the residence.
I would really recommend contacting a lawyer in your area. They should be able to advise you on any legal steps you could take.
You might also want to contact a senior's organization and see if they have someone you could discuss this with. Also I'm sure she has a healthcare team and a social worker might be part of that team.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
I have a plan to have my brother investigated for elder abuse if I ever again think he is endangering my "elderly" (65+) mother ( in any way, including intentional emotional abuse). She wont like that, and she will be furious with me, but if I feel he is a threat, I'm doing it.
I am sorry this is happening in your family. Addiction is an insidious disease. We can't control it... but we can decide how we react to it. Keep reaching out to any and all resources. Your mother does not deserve to be going through this in what precious time she has left. Your sister doesn't deserve this abuse either.
I am sorry this is happening in your family. Addiction is an insidious disease. We can't control it... but we can decide how we react to it. Keep reaching out to any and all resources. Your mother does not deserve to be going through this in what precious time she has left. Your sister doesn't deserve this abuse either.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Texbeez, and Welcome:
I'm sorry you had to find us, but glad you're here. Alcoholism does affect the whole family if allowed
Please never hesitate to call 911 on the alcoholic SIL. Also, it might be helpful to have social or elder services pay a visit to your MIL's home in order to assess the situation for themselves. That way, you and your husband might have some legal traction in having your A SIL removed from the home. Your MIL certainly doesn't need this kind of drama right now as she battles metastatic breast cancer. My mother is in end-stage bone cancer from her last round with breast cancer. You all have my deepest sympathy as she fights this.
I'm sorry you had to find us, but glad you're here. Alcoholism does affect the whole family if allowed
Please never hesitate to call 911 on the alcoholic SIL. Also, it might be helpful to have social or elder services pay a visit to your MIL's home in order to assess the situation for themselves. That way, you and your husband might have some legal traction in having your A SIL removed from the home. Your MIL certainly doesn't need this kind of drama right now as she battles metastatic breast cancer. My mother is in end-stage bone cancer from her last round with breast cancer. You all have my deepest sympathy as she fights this.
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