"You're so boring."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
"You're so boring."
Its my husbands 29th birthday, so we went to his parents house for a BBQ last night. I have declined drinks from them before and usually get a weird look, and asked multiple times thereafter if I am sure I dont want a drink... but this time... my MIL said.. "Im sorry.. I just have to say... you're so fricken boring!!"
I was taken aback by her comment... but I realize how far I have come at the same time. A comment like that would have made me feel so self conscious and bad previously. This time I didnt even comment I just let her think I was boring and I was OK with that. I didnt justify why I dont drink or try to explain myself to her.
I am feeling pretty damn comfortable in my sober BORING skin!
I was taken aback by her comment... but I realize how far I have come at the same time. A comment like that would have made me feel so self conscious and bad previously. This time I didnt even comment I just let her think I was boring and I was OK with that. I didnt justify why I dont drink or try to explain myself to her.
I am feeling pretty damn comfortable in my sober BORING skin!
Glad you didn't get upset with her over it.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Your NOT drinking probably threatens her on some level. It would not surprise me if your example of not drinking turns out to be very helpful to her one day. There are times when the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune are in fact an honor.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,948
I have a group of friends who drink a lot, but they are very good friends so I explained my situation to them.
I explained I had a mild fatty liver and decided to take a break from alcohol, but I found it extremely hard to do so which meant I was clearly dependent, and the best course of action was to stop drinking permanently.
They were fine with that. I can now go out with them. They might make a few jokes (British humour), but I can laugh at myself too, and there’d be no pressure to drink, in fact the opposite would apply in that they’d watch out for me.
I explained I had a mild fatty liver and decided to take a break from alcohol, but I found it extremely hard to do so which meant I was clearly dependent, and the best course of action was to stop drinking permanently.
They were fine with that. I can now go out with them. They might make a few jokes (British humour), but I can laugh at myself too, and there’d be no pressure to drink, in fact the opposite would apply in that they’d watch out for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
You certainly handled that well, but that sort of comment is completely unacceptable. You were branded boring simply for the act of not accepting a drink. It's not like she even decided after some time around you that you are boring when sober (which would also be a completely unacceptable remark) but made her comment purely in response to you saying no to a drink. I'm sure you're much more interesting than any of the drinkers she entertains herself with.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Should have pulled down your pants and pee’d on the carpet. “Is this exciting enough for ya Ma?” Lol
Seriously though, wow, how freaking rude. I actually noticed I’m a little more boring since I quit. And...so what? People didn’t like getting calls from the jail to pick me up so they really shouldn’t complain if I want to head home at 8pm, lol. Pick one.
Seriously though, wow, how freaking rude. I actually noticed I’m a little more boring since I quit. And...so what? People didn’t like getting calls from the jail to pick me up so they really shouldn’t complain if I want to head home at 8pm, lol. Pick one.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Your MIL is the worst lol
Is she always so weird or just when you decline drinks?
You, on the other hand, are a real badass...level headed, cool in the face of her idiotic comments, and comfortable in your own skin.
I'd rather be you than her any day.
Is she always so weird or just when you decline drinks?
You, on the other hand, are a real badass...level headed, cool in the face of her idiotic comments, and comfortable in your own skin.
I'd rather be you than her any day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
You never need to subject yourself to situations
like that again. This is your life, your recovery,
sobriety and you can protect it, strengthen it,
while avoiding rude comments.
Folks like that id have to pray for them, place
them in my HP - Higher Powers hands so that
i neednt have to worry about it and move forward
in living a happy, healthy, honesty way of life
for myself, remembering there are lots of folks
sicker than me.
Stay strong, positive, caring, understanding as
you continue growing in recovery and life.
like that again. This is your life, your recovery,
sobriety and you can protect it, strengthen it,
while avoiding rude comments.
Folks like that id have to pray for them, place
them in my HP - Higher Powers hands so that
i neednt have to worry about it and move forward
in living a happy, healthy, honesty way of life
for myself, remembering there are lots of folks
sicker than me.
Stay strong, positive, caring, understanding as
you continue growing in recovery and life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
I also have a MIL who makes similar comments. Last time I was with her I declined her repeated offers of wine, and she said, 'You're making me feel like an alcoholic!'
Needless to say, she drinks heavily, daily, alone in the dark watching the tv.
You're not boring. You are FABULOUS and I hope you feel fantastic having woken up fresh as a daisy this morning
Needless to say, she drinks heavily, daily, alone in the dark watching the tv.
You're not boring. You are FABULOUS and I hope you feel fantastic having woken up fresh as a daisy this morning
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
I probably am a little boring to some people now I don't drink. Only in the I'm not running around the bar, making silly noises and getting off my face drunk, if people found that entertaining....
On the other hand, if being boring is having amusing, meaningful and thoughtful conversations with friends, then heading home to make myself a healthy dinner, maybe having a nice chocolate as a treat, and then a good nights sleep at a reasonable hour, well I'm happy to be boring.
I'm yet to discover something which is more fun drunk.
Conversations? No.
Eating? No.
Sleeping? No.
Exercise? Err no.
Watching a movie, reading or TV? no, when drunk you can't remember anything.
Watching sport? No. It used to deaden my senses, sometimes I couldn't even remember the game.
I'm sure having one or two drinks and leaving it at that, can enhance the experience for many "normal drinking" people, but unfortunately I cannot just have one or two. Maybe on occasions yes, but generally I will want to drink until I pass out, so I don't drink as it is not worth it.
On the other hand, if being boring is having amusing, meaningful and thoughtful conversations with friends, then heading home to make myself a healthy dinner, maybe having a nice chocolate as a treat, and then a good nights sleep at a reasonable hour, well I'm happy to be boring.
I'm yet to discover something which is more fun drunk.
Conversations? No.
Eating? No.
Sleeping? No.
Exercise? Err no.
Watching a movie, reading or TV? no, when drunk you can't remember anything.
Watching sport? No. It used to deaden my senses, sometimes I couldn't even remember the game.
I'm sure having one or two drinks and leaving it at that, can enhance the experience for many "normal drinking" people, but unfortunately I cannot just have one or two. Maybe on occasions yes, but generally I will want to drink until I pass out, so I don't drink as it is not worth it.
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