DreamCatcher17

Good for you! Opinions are like a-holes and everyone has one. Mid as well like yourself

ImNotThatGuy

Wow, what a rude thing to say. Your grace under fire is admirable. I would have probably said something like, "Maybe so, but at least I'm not drunk."

MyLittleHorsie

Good for you. Stay strong and true to yourself.

icandothis20

wow well the more I think about it the more I can see how crazy it is she said that. I am quite intimidated by her so I didnt say anything, but in hindsight I wish I had come back with some cheeky reply lol.

I def thought it was rude.. she has no clue why I dont drink.. she has actually never asked me why, she just assumes its because im health conscious and uptight. She is a bully to her husband and kids and in my opinion says things that are downright cringworthy.. like demanding her daughter go for a run and quit eating!! and when her daughter stalls for a couple minutes to chat with us or do something before going she says LEXIE NOW!!! and she always does things like this in front of company... soo yeah... shes... awesome...

and she def enjoys her drinks ALOT.. so it does say more about her than me!

ljc267

I am more "boring" then I used to be. When I drank I was emotionally unpredictable and never knew how I would feel or act from one moment to the next. Before I quit I was worried that I would become boring but now I'm glad I am.

nez

Boring is a label, nothing more. I don't put much weight on the labels and/or opinions of people such as your MIL. I much prefer to form my own.

SoberCAH

You done good, as we would say in the South.

Ironically, your mother-in-law's comment is more reflective of her own shallow understanding of alcoholism than it is on your behavior.

She sounds like quite a bore.

I'm good with being boring by certain other people's standards.

But I'm not good with being around drunks, whom I invariably find to be quite dull.

Kudos on doing a fine job.

CupofJoe

Ugh, she sounds annoying.

I'd probably toss my hair, smile broadly, and say, "Yes, and doesn't it look AMAZING on me? Not everyone can pull off boring with the flair that I can."

One thing I've learned in sobriety is that I prefer to laugh rather than get upset most of the time. It disarms people and keeps me in a good mood!

Good for you for not taking it personally.

GreatInquiry7

PeacefulWater12

How rude.

I find people who make comments along those lines usually have a issue themselves. It is about them not you.

Nicely handled.

August252015

I'm even MORE proud of how you handled that given the back story you added! That kind of thing might have been jut what tipped me off to go off on her, with all that other stuff about her in the back of my mind!!

My situation is a little different but here's something that struck me, and maybe it will help you. I've had to learn and (re)accept that people show love differently. My MIL still baffles me frequently- I KNOW she loves her son and grandkids, but the way she shows it is just weird (and therefore sometimes hurtful) to me. She has also shown the dimmest growing understanding of alcoholism- my husband and I are both sober and on his 2d year anniv she asked if he was still doing this no drinking thing.

I have to keep reminding myself it's just better not to retort. And I have made good friends with the other grandkids they have who were kinda left out over the years for my husband's kids. That's a gift of this "normal' fam!

Glad you have shared with us.

Hawkeye13

My gentle snappy response is "I have found I still have an interesting personality without drinking" while my less-gentle response is "So sorry, I didn't realize you didn't have an interesting personality unless you were drinking".

Usually not said unless a repeat offender. . .

sugarbear1

I find drunk people to be repetitive and very boring.....but that is just my opinion...

nez

I consider myself to be one of the lucky insane ones that can hear the music of recovery. Your MIL can't hear the music; but who knows, maybe your dancing will help her to hear the music.

icandothis20

August- Thanks for your response. I am trying really hard to think of it that way too. Like the 5 love languages... im just not used to her love language.. because its the same with my MIL - I KNOW she loves her kids she just doesnt show it in the way I show or ever received love. I try to keep my mouth shut because I HATE confrontation and drama and I do want to have a good relationship with them. But it is hard because I do push my opinions and wants down to make other people happy.

The thing about your MIL not understanding alcoholism is def frustrating and questions like that would tick me off too.. either thats whats going on with mine.. or im shining a spot light on her drinking... and im realizing more than ever now that her life revolves around alcohol. She HAS to drink at every event (and her and her mom friends drink bottles of wine nightly, she only hangs out with parents and people who are like her, and she also mocks her husband for being boring and not wanting to go to all these events and drink because he barely drinks. She even once told me and hubby "whatever you do, dont just stop having fun when you settle down like Dave did" AKA- fun = alcohol. I used to drink wine with her at the dinners and now shes drinking alone... she even said "well im having my wine" and I said go right ahead, please do. Actually... after i declined she asked her young 16 year old daughter if she wanted a small drink.

Now.. my biggest fear going forward is telling her we dont want children... shes already decided when were having them.... and thats when "shes ready to be a grandma, shes not ready yet until shes atleast retired"!
her daughter kept banging on about wanting to be an auntie at our BBQ, and she said "you will be"... im sitting there dead silent and no ones asked me if im having a baby..

i think I do need to start speaking up a bit more...

Sorry I dont know where this all came from I just started rambling and all these things came to my head!

SoberCAH

She sounds like quite a peach.

Perhaps we should all save a place in our home meetings for her.

She may qualify for our program, if not now, maybe later.

I'm glad you refrained from a reply - she deserves none.