Strugglingto

So I made it through cold turkey, if day five and the worst of the withdrawal counts that is, a first for me.
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​​​​Physically I am better but far from well. I think I have managed about eight hours sleep in total over this time. But emotionally I feel broken. I am a 37-year-old man sitting here in tears. I just keep hoping things will get better.

I had a job interview today. It is a good job in journalism but contributing to my sense of failure is the fact I was not sharp and answering in what I would consider to be a coherent way.

I had no choice but to try despite how I feel. I have not worked since March as alcohol took over. Financially, I am precarious. It was not the ideal time to go when all I want to do is stay at home right now.

It would almost be funny under other circumstances but I am still parched. I have consumed an ocean's worth of water and isotonic drinks these past few days but by the time I got to the interview I had that mouth full of sawdust feeling you wake up with after drinking alcohol.
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I sounded like Darth Vadar...

Callas

Good luck with the job, the not drinking, everything.

ImNotThatGuy

Hang in there. Congratulations on five days. The physical part gets better after a week or so.

A B-complex vitamin might help. Alcoholics are severely deprived of a couple of B vitamins. It helped me.

BackandScared

Wow! You made it to an interview. You got dressed, went there and sat through the whole thing. Knowing you have not performed well in an interview, particularly when the job is important to you, is always an anticlimax. It deserves the tears.

But it says a lot about you that you didn't escape this one. You had very good reasons to stay at home. It must have been extremely stressful to think about it, to prepare for it and to answer whatever questions they had. When you have finished crying about your performance and the low that comes after all that stress, whatever the final outcome, you should be super proud of yourself.

Anna

I think you will begin to feel better soon. It's great that you were together enough to get to the interview and go through the process. You managed to do what you needed to do, and that's so important to the recovery process. I wish you well with the job search, and as you continue your recovery journey.

Strugglingto

Thanks all, I am still quite sick, nausea and a little unsteady, thankfully today was actually cool. It had been extremely hot leading up to today. Which does not help the withdrawal at all.

And yeah, I am grateful and proud of myself for managing it. It was in a tiny room so I imagine if I had gone when I was drinking - the impression would have been much worse.

MLD51

Huge congratulations to you for getting to an interview at all on day 5! On day 5 I was a complete mess and crying almost constantly. I think day 5 (maybe day 6) was my intake interview for outpatient treatment, where they decide if you are "bad enough" or "ready" for treatment. I cried every second of the half hour or so appointment. I was crying before I got there. I cried after I left. Needless to say, I got into treatment. So for you to pull yourself together for an actual JOB INTERVIEW is amazing. And also - you probably didn't do as poorly as you think you did. In early recovery we are looking at ourselves in a completely distorted way. In any case, it is a victory for you - you got to 5 days, you got yourself out the door to an interview. You should be very proud of yourself. If you don't get this job, this should at least give you some confidence going forward.

VigilanceNow

I second the b-vitamin complex, though of course I'm not giving medical advice without knowing you

I know that the first time I went to the ER with withdrawal (didn't know it was that), the doctors were like WHAT why is your potassium so low?! And sodium? And your CK levels are out of control! I was like ummm jeez I don't know... but on some level I knew it was because of alcohol, I just didn't want to admit it.

I'd suggest getting to a doctor to see if there's something more you should be doing. Hang in there - for me day 3 has always been the worst, by day 5(ish) I feel somewhat better usually.

Kaily

You have shown great resilience not only getting sober but also getting to the interview today.

Your on the up. Keep going, get to the top and stay there forever. Never look down then you won't fall.

Amazing.

Dee74

Really glad to hear you're feeling better strugglingto

D

Hevyn

Congratulation on your 5 hard earned days, Struggling. I remember them well - that's why I can never go back to that horrific time.

I'm glad you persevered & made it to the interview - that must have been so difficult. I hope you hear back from them.

Things are going to get so much better as you heal. We're with you.

soupcon

That is so impressive that you went on a job interview after all you have been through. I think the fact that you have quit cold turkey this time and have suffered through the withdrawals (at least the worst part) may be a turning point. Even if you don't get this job, another one will come soon. You seem determined. Congratulations on five days.

Misssy2

Maybe you did better than you think...And if it doesn't pan out...just hope that means it wasn't meant to be and something better will come along.

I get your withdrawal struggle....Day 5 was still hard for me, Day 6 was as well...I really didn't start eating till day 7....

It has to suck not working...and being worried about finances...BUT...LOOK AT YOU...you are at a BOTTOM of sorts and you are NOT drinking thru it....you are in recovery....That is HUGE....and good things will happen if you can get thru this detox....and start feeling human again...

Anyone that can be in a "tough" situation like this...and still fight thru it is super strong...I believe in YOU. I believe you will get thru this...and good fortune will come your way...

Derringer

That dryness went on for about 3 months for me.
I googled it and from what I found, it is the liver trying to cleanse itself with as much non alcoholic fluid as it can get. It's an amazingly regenerative organ.

Pre quitting drinking I had liver tests that had my Dr say I was either early stage cirrhosis or on the verge of it, 3 months later when the constant thirst abated and I got retested. Perfectly normal healthy numbers on the test.

least

At five days sober I was just starting to feel human again and not like one big bundle of nerve endings.

I wish you the best in your job search. Stay sober and little by little you'll start feeling better, physically and emotionally.

NicLin

Know that the feelings you are currently having are going to dissipate and you will feel so much better. Just DO NOT PICK UP a drink or you will be right back to this feeling. Acknowledge it, know it and understand and accept that you never want to feel this again.

So proud of you for sucking it up and showing up for the interview and mostly, for yourself.