woodlandlost

Hi All.

I wanted to post an update of my ongoing saga with STBXAW.

Well back on July 12 she came back to the island and moved into a tent...well our tent trailer. And for about a week she was somewhat trying to stay engaged with us and visit our daughter. Then I realized that she was still drinking...but it is an insidious drinking now; al day drinking. She always has a bottle in her bag...always smelling of booze. A little over a week ago she stopped communicating and all I get are calls with her weeping and moaning. I asked a mutual friend to go and visit her because she did not want me to come by...she saw a bloated, naked, passed out version of my wife. Friend asked, "have you had enough yet, has it gotten bad enuf' to which she replied yes, but please leave me alone. It is heartbreaking to see how far she has fallen. I called her tonight to let her know that myself and DD are heading out of town for a week...she didn't even care...she was so far gone. I am scared how much futher this can go for her. She is 40...she was the most beautiful person...

woodlandlost

Further to my post...what can I do...just watch her destroy herself?

trailmix

What choice do you have, you can't make her do anything against her will.

Have you considered calling the police to do a wellness check? Perhaps she would respond better to a stranger?

Ariesagain

I’m so sorry you and your daughter are having to witness this, even second hand. I’m glad you’re getting away for a week...it almost always gives much needed perspective.

Yes, you could call the police to do a welfare check on her. You might want to be extra careful to make it clear to them that coming back to your house is not an option, lest you come back to find her there.

Is she driving in this continually drinking condition?

Is it a good idea to have her around your daughter in this condition, even with you there?

Wishing you strength, clarity and peace...

Saltydog123

So sad, I'm sorry for your pain. Story sounds to familiar.
Take care of yourself and daughter first and foremost. AW is the only one that can help herself. Use every resource on the island to try and aid in AW health.

dandylion

saltydog…...I suggest that you consider calling the closest AA organization and ask if they would send some people over to her trailer to do a "12 Step" visit....
I don't see that you would have anything to lose...and, there is a chance that she might respond.....

I have no idea where you live...but, have you investigated the possibility of having her committed for involuntary treatment/observation?

Also, I don't know if she has a particular faith, or not....but, if so....would you consider asking a priest or minister to pay her a visit?

I don't suppose that you have an emergency mental health team in your jurisdiction?

Seren

Hello Woodland,

I can't really add to the advice you have received here. Welfare check by the police could begin an involuntary treatment as dandylion has stated.

I hope that you will take good care of yourself and your daughter through all of this--make sure both of you are getting the help you need, too!

hopeful4

This is wonderful advise! Don't forget the three C's. You did not Cause it, you cannot Control it, and you cannot Cure it.

Huge hugs.

LifeChangeNYC