Resentment
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Resentment
Six weeks of "Sobriety" down the tubes. I guess my AH couldn't handle the pressures of trying to get this house. Maybe he'll still get it, but, who knows.
Yesterday, I asked my HP for a sign that everything was going to be okay. I think I got my sign last night.
I went to an Al-Anon meeting. The topic was "Resentment". Apparently that is something I have a lot of. I feel as though I've delt with the "Anger" associated with my relationship with my AH, but I still have a lot of resentment. This is something I believe goes back to my childhood (I'm still working on it....lol).
The question was brought up, "How do you feel about other's good fortune?" When I hear of other's good fortune, I get very envious. We didn't have a lot growing up and I used to get picked on in school for it. I went to a Catholic school, my parents were divorced and in a Catholic school divorced parents were unheard of. So I caught a lot of critism from that. We didn't get the best clothes, shoes, didn't have money for "trendy" hair do's.... you get the point. Anyway, this part of my inventory.
So, to help me connect with other areas in my past that would trigger this "envy", can you tell me - "How do you feel about other's good fortune?"
Yesterday, I asked my HP for a sign that everything was going to be okay. I think I got my sign last night.
I went to an Al-Anon meeting. The topic was "Resentment". Apparently that is something I have a lot of. I feel as though I've delt with the "Anger" associated with my relationship with my AH, but I still have a lot of resentment. This is something I believe goes back to my childhood (I'm still working on it....lol).
The question was brought up, "How do you feel about other's good fortune?" When I hear of other's good fortune, I get very envious. We didn't have a lot growing up and I used to get picked on in school for it. I went to a Catholic school, my parents were divorced and in a Catholic school divorced parents were unheard of. So I caught a lot of critism from that. We didn't get the best clothes, shoes, didn't have money for "trendy" hair do's.... you get the point. Anyway, this part of my inventory.
So, to help me connect with other areas in my past that would trigger this "envy", can you tell me - "How do you feel about other's good fortune?"
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
One of the best tools I have found for envy is gratitude. Seeing the blessings in my own life helps me to be happy for others. I also have learned that others have problems, and that they struggle too. Just because someone has good things in their life doesn't mean that they don't have to face lifes challenges as well.
Healing the hurts from the past is very important to recovery. Taking an honest look at what I wasn't given as a child helps me to see the insane things I did throughout my life to find them. It also gives me a place to begin finding those things in a healthy way. As I heal, the resentment slips away, and is replaced by serenity and wholeness.
Keep searching. The feelings that you are experiencing are part of the healing process. There is nothing wrong with that. If you keep moving through it, you will find healing and peace. Hugs, Magic
Healing the hurts from the past is very important to recovery. Taking an honest look at what I wasn't given as a child helps me to see the insane things I did throughout my life to find them. It also gives me a place to begin finding those things in a healthy way. As I heal, the resentment slips away, and is replaced by serenity and wholeness.
Keep searching. The feelings that you are experiencing are part of the healing process. There is nothing wrong with that. If you keep moving through it, you will find healing and peace. Hugs, Magic
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hi Jess,
I know what you mean about being in a catholic school, being broke and now included with the cool kids, etc.
I was always envious of one girl while growing up. She had everything and knew it and she played with my head a lot of times because I had little or nothing.
To this day, I still feel the effects of the "green eyed monster", but if I see someone who has gotten something that they deserve and have worked hard for, I feel happiness for them. It's the ones who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths that I get all hot under the collar when they whine they can't afford a trip to Europe for the summer. OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. What they're paying for that trip is more than my husband makes in a year.
Realistically, I react because I've never had any type of luxury in my life. I do have secret wants and would love to be able to walk into a store and pull something off the rack without checking the price first.
So, I have to consider myself blessed in mental and spiritual ways. I am learning and growing. That's a gift many people never see in their lifetime. And no one can put a price on that.
Yeah, I have to agree with Magic. Looking at the blessings we have in our lives makes us all rich.
Hugs, gelfling
I know what you mean about being in a catholic school, being broke and now included with the cool kids, etc.
I was always envious of one girl while growing up. She had everything and knew it and she played with my head a lot of times because I had little or nothing.
To this day, I still feel the effects of the "green eyed monster", but if I see someone who has gotten something that they deserve and have worked hard for, I feel happiness for them. It's the ones who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths that I get all hot under the collar when they whine they can't afford a trip to Europe for the summer. OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. What they're paying for that trip is more than my husband makes in a year.
Realistically, I react because I've never had any type of luxury in my life. I do have secret wants and would love to be able to walk into a store and pull something off the rack without checking the price first.
So, I have to consider myself blessed in mental and spiritual ways. I am learning and growing. That's a gift many people never see in their lifetime. And no one can put a price on that.
Yeah, I have to agree with Magic. Looking at the blessings we have in our lives makes us all rich.
Hugs, gelfling
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Little House of Horrors
Posts: 4
I'm not terribly jealous of other people's good fortune. I know that other people have probably looked at my life and thought I had it made. You just don't know what's going on behind closed doors. I guess that's kind of cynical. When I see a neighbor adding to their house or buying a new car, I just wonder how much debt their in. Only for a moment or two, then I just forget about it. Guess I'm too self absorbed! lol
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Sometimes I struggle with this too. It seems like a "reasonable" amount of good fortune for others is ok with me. Then sometimes someone has opurtunities or a windfall that seems so large that I wonder why it's happened to them and not me. Recently my college roommate received a very large raise and bonus at work. I know she works very hard but the size of the bonus - half of what I make in a year - seemed out of porportion. It doesn't help that I have money troubles. But the way I see it this issue is about me, if I had my money better under control, then I wouldn't feel so envious.
Gratitude is the answer, I agree. When I think about my children, then I know I have won the jackpot in the most important way possible. Take care
Gratitude is the answer, I agree. When I think about my children, then I know I have won the jackpot in the most important way possible. Take care
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