Shantilove

Dee74

I think the best 'cure' for shame and guilt is living right, staying sober - and time shantilove.

I know that means sitting with things a while but really, for me, thats the only way I got through all that and into a better mental place.

youre not alone here - and support helps a lot.
D

JayTee33

I struggled (and still struggle) with shame too, Shantilove - like many alcoholics will for our past actions.

Dee is spot on from my perspective.

Once you've got a bit of sober time under your belt, you may want to take a look at some of the broader issues underlying your drinking. For me, my inner critic - my sheer lack of self-compassion - was at the core of many things. Even before my drinking, I'd be constantly rehashing every tiny mistake, beating myself up for it.

I'm working on this now, through cognitive-based therapy and a lot of reading and practice. People will tell you you have to let the past go and look forward - it's easier said than done, but it is possible, with practice and hard work.

Take a look online resources on self-compassion and self-forgiveness. There are a lot of great resources out there.

Good luck and if you want to talk we're here!

CRRHCC

Shame reflects how we feel about ourselves. Guilt is a refection on how our actions have hurt others. In other words, shame relates to self, guilt to others.

Develop a plan to change yourself and apologize to others. Always remember that actions speak louder than words.

Values and purpose are the main navigational tools in life. Find yours.

Callas

For me The only way is to absorb the guilt and shame. What happened happened. It can not be undone. I only have some control over the present and the future. Time the great healer etc.

ImNotThatGuy

Best advice I can give is to deal with the root issue first: get sober. The other stuff will just get worse if you keep drinking, and it can be resolved if you quit for good.

WeThinkNot

I dealt with shame and guilt by making recovery the absolute number one priority in my life. Father time took care of the rest.

There are no words to describe how uplifting it is to the soul when your loved ones look at you with pride and admiration after years of looking at you with hurt and disappointment. That is a buzz that liquor could never give me.

Only action will get you there, not "I really mean it this time guys". Talk is cheap, actions speak.

SoberRican

The way they look at it you can say anything out your mouth your actions speak louder than words get some sober time under your belt let them see Let Them Be A Witness you can do this one day at a time