Divorce
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Divorce
I’m the one who filed for divorce and he’s acting like he’s the one who wants out. He’s the one leaving me. He says “well things change” in reference to our marriage and his commitment. What a lunatic. I’m the stupid one buying in to it. This is a nightmare
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Originally Posted by SoberRican 
Mind me asking is it due to boozing among other things as well?
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Dazed...you are right...he is drinking because he is an alcoholic.
Alcoholics always have "reasons" to give for their drinking...that have nothing to do with them.....They drink because it is a new job, or Halloween, or because their wife has PMS, or because they need a new carborator, or, it is the cat's birthday....
Alcoholics always have "reasons" to give for their drinking...that have nothing to do with them.....They drink because it is a new job, or Halloween, or because their wife has PMS, or because they need a new carborator, or, it is the cat's birthday....
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Join Date: May 2018
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Sorry but I had to laugh at 'things change', I got that one after EXAH was removed by the police and I filed for separation he waylaid me at day care with the 'things change', speech. Like it was his choice we had split and he had a new gf.
It's not about you. It's about validating their drinking. He's drinking.. Nothing can come in his way if his drinking but in his mind it's not a problem. He just needs the whole universe to flip flop to support this illusion.
He's OK... He doesn't have a problem. Everybody else has a problem and he'll change his life narrative to support this.
It's not about you. It's about validating their drinking. He's drinking.. Nothing can come in his way if his drinking but in his mind it's not a problem. He just needs the whole universe to flip flop to support this illusion.
He's OK... He doesn't have a problem. Everybody else has a problem and he'll change his life narrative to support this.
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They drink because it is a new job, or Halloween, or because their wife has PMS, or because they need a new carborator, or, it is the cat's birthday....
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
He says things change because he has grandchildren now. He says he wants to be there for them. That he is torn that’s why he’s drinking.
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Originally Posted by honeypig
or b/c the cat has PMS, or it's the carburetor's birthday...the one thing you CAN be sure of is that it is not a single thing to do with you and anything you've done/thought/felt/said/etc.
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
I’m the stupid one buying in to it. This is a nightmare
That's another really difficult part of alcoholism I think. You have a person right in front of you, for all intents speaking coherently and yet what they are saying makes NO sense.
Our minds have trouble computing this stuff I believe. We aren't used to being told - rubbish, we are used to having fairly logical conversations with pretty logical people. It doesn't come naturally to most I don't think to automatically listen to something and go hmm, ok that was meaningless.
It takes practice and it sounds like you are getting a lot of it. I'm sorry for that because I know it's hurtful to you.
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Originally Posted by Eauchiche
You're not stupid, Dazed, you filed for divorce. In doing so, you are displaying a LOT of courage.
You just need support to follow through with things. We are here to help.
You just need support to follow through with things. We are here to help.
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