Transport a drunk man
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Location: W Washington
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what makes you think his family wants him back?
you could wait til he's sober, hand him a bus ticket, and there is still no guarantee he won't show back up on your doorstep.
i guess you could look at why you feel responsible for his travel and destination.
you could wait til he's sober, hand him a bus ticket, and there is still no guarantee he won't show back up on your doorstep.
i guess you could look at why you feel responsible for his travel and destination.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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A sober coach is normally utilized for people who are wanting to stay sober. They work closely with the person, sometimes actually staying w/them 24/7 and talking them through. However, for someone who has no interest in being sober, it really would more so be just hiring someone to stay w/him and keep him sober until arriving at the destination. I presume family 2000 miles away has agreed to take him on? Will they not assist?
The cost would be a lot, but I would also think be well worth it to get him 2000 miles away.
Hugs.
what’s a sober coach?
The cost would be a lot, but I would also think be well worth it to get him 2000 miles away.
Hugs.
Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus 
what’s a sober coach?
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Yes, why do you feel responsible for getting him somewhere?
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you might need to take some type of legal action to get him out of the house if he won't go willingly. nor can you really FORCE an adult to travel thousands of miles away to become somebody else's problem against their will. i suggest you discuss options with an attorney before making any sudden/rash decisions.
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
what makes you think his family wants him back?
you could wait til he's sober, hand him a bus ticket, and there is still no guarantee he won't show back up on your doorstep.
i guess you could look at why you feel responsible for his travel and destination.
you could wait til he's sober, hand him a bus ticket, and there is still no guarantee he won't show back up on your doorstep.
i guess you could look at why you feel responsible for his travel and destination.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
you might need to take some type of legal action to get him out of the house if he won't go willingly. nor can you really FORCE an adult to travel thousands of miles away to become somebody else's problem against their will. i suggest you discuss options with an attorney before making any sudden/rash decisions.
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yes, his family never let us live our own lives. They were constantly involved, insisting him to be involved with their lives even tho he was 2000 miles away. It was a constant struggle for him; he felt torn apart a lot. They never let go. It’s been a struggle at times to have our own lives. It was about them. His mother his sister, they don’t have a life of their own. It was always What they were doing, how they felt, what they wanted. He cries now. Saying it’s so unfair to me. But, he chooses them over our marriage. What a lie and waste of 20 years.
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How can he just drink his life down the tubes after re-building it? All that work and effort! He’s right back to where I found him. Jobless, homeless, and drinking. If he wanted out of our marriage so badly, he didn’t have to do all this. He could have just told me. I am so dazed and confused. After all this, comes time to enjoy the fruits of our labor and he burns it all down. 😢
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Alcoholism is a progressive, chronic illogical disease. It also affects us, the friends and family members in many ways.
Al-Anon and Celebrate Recovery are a couple of programs that help with healing, education and in-person support.
https://www.al-anon.org/
Al-Anon and Celebrate Recovery are a couple of programs that help with healing, education and in-person support.
https://www.al-anon.org/
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
How can he just drink his life down the tubes after re-building it? All that work and effort! He’s right back to where I found him. Jobless, homeless, and drinking. If he wanted out of our marriage so badly, he didn’t have to do all this. He could have just told me. I am so dazed and confused. After all this, comes time to enjoy the fruits of our labor and he burns it all down. 😢
If he were thinking in some kind of rational fashion, maybe this wouldn't be happening. That's not the case though. The only thing to do is accept it. Until he wants help, no one can force him to do anything really.
That's why you need to focus on yourself. Give yourself the love, care and attention you were probably giving him. It's very hurtful for sure but again, until he wants help, nothing to be done about it.
Remember he's not drinking "at" you, he's just drinking. He's not thinking about burning down what you both have worked for, he's thinking about his next drink.
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Maybe ask why not, not "why". He is an alcoholic. The drive to drink is tremendous. Once he gets started it's very hard to stop.
If he were thinking in some kind of rational fashion, maybe this wouldn't be happening. That's not the case though. The only thing to do is accept it. Until he wants help, no one can force him to do anything really.
That's why you need to focus on yourself. Give yourself the love, care and attention you were probably giving him. It's very hurtful for sure but again, until he wants help, nothing to be done about it.
Remember he's not drinking "at" you, he's just drinking. He's not thinking about burning down what you both have worked for, he's thinking about his next drink.
If he were thinking in some kind of rational fashion, maybe this wouldn't be happening. That's not the case though. The only thing to do is accept it. Until he wants help, no one can force him to do anything really.
That's why you need to focus on yourself. Give yourself the love, care and attention you were probably giving him. It's very hurtful for sure but again, until he wants help, nothing to be done about it.
Remember he's not drinking "at" you, he's just drinking. He's not thinking about burning down what you both have worked for, he's thinking about his next drink.
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
thank you for reminder. He’s coming out of it now. His words? “I’m sorry honey”. After all this madness destroying his life, our marriage, his job, he says I’m sorry!!! He didn’t say, I will do whatever it takes to stop this. I’ll get help. We worked so hard...nothing. Simply, “I’m sorry”. Good lord this hurts.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
If he's coming out of it, maybe this is a good time to get him on the train or whatever to his family. Plane bad choice because if he drinks, really bad things can happen.
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