Trust
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 170
Trust
Hi everyone,
I want to thank everyone for being here and helping out where and how you can.
The wife has been sober for 6 weeks now, which is great. She has increased monitoring which takes the pressure off of me to be the walking talking breathalyzer I once was. That was an exhausting choice and one I will never repeat.
My question is one of ongoing distrust. I just can’t seem shake the complete distrust I have toward her due to the choices she made and the havoc that was created by those choices.
I keep trying to forgive and leave the past behind but knowing how deceitful and manipulative she has been, and probably still can be, it’s tough not to think she’s just waiting for probation to end to drink again or file for divorce or both. I don’t know this person anymore, the personality change is bizarre and she can’t see it
I know 6 weeks isn’t a long time, but can trust ever be regained? I have no idea how to trust someone after the kind of crap that went down. Has anyone done it with the alcoholic spouse?
Thanks!
Beach
I want to thank everyone for being here and helping out where and how you can.
The wife has been sober for 6 weeks now, which is great. She has increased monitoring which takes the pressure off of me to be the walking talking breathalyzer I once was. That was an exhausting choice and one I will never repeat.
My question is one of ongoing distrust. I just can’t seem shake the complete distrust I have toward her due to the choices she made and the havoc that was created by those choices.
I keep trying to forgive and leave the past behind but knowing how deceitful and manipulative she has been, and probably still can be, it’s tough not to think she’s just waiting for probation to end to drink again or file for divorce or both. I don’t know this person anymore, the personality change is bizarre and she can’t see it
I know 6 weeks isn’t a long time, but can trust ever be regained? I have no idea how to trust someone after the kind of crap that went down. Has anyone done it with the alcoholic spouse?
Thanks!
Beach
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,648
That's a good question. The question of trust, with an alcoholic or someone else, is there a difference?
I guess you could say that what an alcoholic/addict did while out of their mind on drugs could be excusable in some fashion as opposed to what a sober person does. That's really about your take on it.
For me, it's about boundaries (there is that word again). I know for a fact there are some things I would never overlook. Heck maybe I would be able to trust them again, maybe not - I wouldn't stick around to find out.
What are your life boundaries? Do you have any with regard to how you are treated by others?
Is infidelity forgivable to you? Can you accept that it happened and move past it?
You say her personality change is bizarre. Is it something you can live with?
You are looking out to the future with questions that really only you can answer. I think what you want is your wife back as she was during sober times.
What you actually have is a wife that cheated on you and drank. Someone who lied to you. Nothing will change that. Now, whether you choose to accept that all happened and continue, well, can you? Is that at all realistic? What if this is as good as it ever gets?
You have spent years wishing she wasn't as she is. First as an alcoholic and now with probably some form of mental illness, or some struggles. How exactly are you going to build a loving relationship? Are your expectations realistic or are you planning all of this on what you wish it would be, not what is?
I guess you could say that what an alcoholic/addict did while out of their mind on drugs could be excusable in some fashion as opposed to what a sober person does. That's really about your take on it.
For me, it's about boundaries (there is that word again). I know for a fact there are some things I would never overlook. Heck maybe I would be able to trust them again, maybe not - I wouldn't stick around to find out.
What are your life boundaries? Do you have any with regard to how you are treated by others?
Is infidelity forgivable to you? Can you accept that it happened and move past it?
You say her personality change is bizarre. Is it something you can live with?
You are looking out to the future with questions that really only you can answer. I think what you want is your wife back as she was during sober times.
What you actually have is a wife that cheated on you and drank. Someone who lied to you. Nothing will change that. Now, whether you choose to accept that all happened and continue, well, can you? Is that at all realistic? What if this is as good as it ever gets?
You have spent years wishing she wasn't as she is. First as an alcoholic and now with probably some form of mental illness, or some struggles. How exactly are you going to build a loving relationship? Are your expectations realistic or are you planning all of this on what you wish it would be, not what is?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 45
I can't tell you if trust can be gained back. What I do know about a person with an addiction is that words mean very little. The actions are always the truth. Live each day as it truly is, and time will give you the answer. I wish the best for you and her in her recovery.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 35
I think it's a very individual thing, digging deep and seeing if we could/should trust them again. I don't think I ever could, and it sounds like our situations were similar in ways (I think we can all say that!)-- probable cheating, lying, disrespect, manipulation, complete personality change for the worse practically overnight. It has been the most traumatic thing I've ever dealt with, I know you must be traumatized.
Can you work through your trauma while in the presence of the source of that trauma? I could not. I tried. And while that raw trauma is activated, it would probably be very difficult to reach a place of trust. Trust requires vulnerability, and man it's scary to leave your tattered, injured inner self in a defenseless position!
I'd say take it one day at a time and really get in touch with your inner self, your feelings, your fears, your desires. Really stay present with yourself and listen to your body. It will always give us all the answers we need. There are some good meditations on YouTube to help you get in touch with your inner self if you need some guidance with that like I did.
It's interesting, because just as our addicts can only love us as much as they love themselves, we can only trust others as deeply as we trust ourselves.
Can you work through your trauma while in the presence of the source of that trauma? I could not. I tried. And while that raw trauma is activated, it would probably be very difficult to reach a place of trust. Trust requires vulnerability, and man it's scary to leave your tattered, injured inner self in a defenseless position!
I'd say take it one day at a time and really get in touch with your inner self, your feelings, your fears, your desires. Really stay present with yourself and listen to your body. It will always give us all the answers we need. There are some good meditations on YouTube to help you get in touch with your inner self if you need some guidance with that like I did.
It's interesting, because just as our addicts can only love us as much as they love themselves, we can only trust others as deeply as we trust ourselves.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 170
Thanks for the replies. My hard boundary was cheating, in any form. No question about it, I was to be out in the event of such bs. Yet here I am debating what pre kids Beachn would consider unthinkable.
Her Dr attributes her behavior in rehab to alcohol psychosis combined with an anti depressant known to create mania in a certain percentage of the population, trauma from being institutionalized and the years of harassment we endured. Not to mention me being a dick because I ran out of ideas to end the alcohol abuse.
Boundaries, ha it’s a cesspool.
I will never get the wife I married back, but I’m not the same person either and have done my fair share of misdeeds that I’m not proud of no matter the circumstances.
So far working through the trauma in the presence of it is proving difficult. Triggers are abundant and my resiliency at a low point. Even one day at a time is arduous. Taxing.
I certainly have less trust in myself than ever, so many mistakes were made, so many opportunities to stop our slide overlooked that I now vacillate, unsure what is the best direction and if I even possess the capacity to forgive. I would like to believe I do but my actions do not reflect that claim.
Thanks
Beachn
Her Dr attributes her behavior in rehab to alcohol psychosis combined with an anti depressant known to create mania in a certain percentage of the population, trauma from being institutionalized and the years of harassment we endured. Not to mention me being a dick because I ran out of ideas to end the alcohol abuse.
Boundaries, ha it’s a cesspool.
I will never get the wife I married back, but I’m not the same person either and have done my fair share of misdeeds that I’m not proud of no matter the circumstances.
Originally Posted by Trinity7777 
I think it's a very individual thing, digging deep and seeing if we could/should trust them again. I don't think I ever could, and it sounds like our situations were similar in ways (I think we can all say that!)-- probable cheating, lying, disrespect, manipulation, complete personality change for the worse practically overnight. It has been the most traumatic thing I've ever dealt with, I know you must be traumatized.
Can you work through your trauma while in the presence of the source of that trauma? I could not. I tried. And while that raw trauma is activated, it would probably be very difficult to reach a place of trust. Trust requires vulnerability, and man it's scary to leave your tattered, injured inner self in a defenseless position!
I'd say take it one day at a time and really get in touch with your inner self, your feelings, your fears, your desires. Really stay present with yourself and listen to your body. It will always give us all the answers we need. There are some good meditations on YouTube to help you get in touch with your inner self if you need some guidance with that like I did.
It's interesting, because just as our addicts can only love us as much as they love themselves, we can only trust others as deeply as we trust ourselves.
Can you work through your trauma while in the presence of the source of that trauma? I could not. I tried. And while that raw trauma is activated, it would probably be very difficult to reach a place of trust. Trust requires vulnerability, and man it's scary to leave your tattered, injured inner self in a defenseless position!
I'd say take it one day at a time and really get in touch with your inner self, your feelings, your fears, your desires. Really stay present with yourself and listen to your body. It will always give us all the answers we need. There are some good meditations on YouTube to help you get in touch with your inner self if you need some guidance with that like I did.
It's interesting, because just as our addicts can only love us as much as they love themselves, we can only trust others as deeply as we trust ourselves.
I certainly have less trust in myself than ever, so many mistakes were made, so many opportunities to stop our slide overlooked that I now vacillate, unsure what is the best direction and if I even possess the capacity to forgive. I would like to believe I do but my actions do not reflect that claim.
Thanks
Beachn
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,648
What are your actions?
Are you able to be kind to her?
The reason I ask is because I guess there has been some real conflict here, first over the drinking and then over everything else that happened at rehab/post rehab.
Are you able to be kind to her?
The reason I ask is because I guess there has been some real conflict here, first over the drinking and then over everything else that happened at rehab/post rehab.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 319
You’ve been through a lot, maybe at this point it will be a matter of just observing, and seeing how things unfold? Perhaps in time, if her behavior is showing you that she can be trusted, the trust will be something that comes naturally (along with forgiveness)? Probably not something that can be felt / done prematurely., I don’t think.
You seem to have a good assessment of the situation and what’s happened. Even as everything was unfolding, your posts seemed really honest, about what was happening and what you were feeling. Not sure how things will unfold from here, but best wishes to you and your family. It’s a little soon now, but you’ll probably know in time if trust and forgiveness are something that can be achievable or not.
You seem to have a good assessment of the situation and what’s happened. Even as everything was unfolding, your posts seemed really honest, about what was happening and what you were feeling. Not sure how things will unfold from here, but best wishes to you and your family. It’s a little soon now, but you’ll probably know in time if trust and forgiveness are something that can be achievable or not.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
I can't answer about how long it takes trust to come back.
I am married to an active drinker but am also a recovering A myself with 9 years sobriety. I feel I remained untrustworthy for a couple years of being quit. It took a long time for my moral compass to return to where it was before drinking. I still lied and did "drinking behaviours" even though I was quit.
I share this in the hope it helps.
I am married to an active drinker but am also a recovering A myself with 9 years sobriety. I feel I remained untrustworthy for a couple years of being quit. It took a long time for my moral compass to return to where it was before drinking. I still lied and did "drinking behaviours" even though I was quit.
I share this in the hope it helps.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 170
Interesting question. Hurt people hurt is something I just realized applies to me in this scenario, but it also applies to her. The drinking wasn’t her out at the bar whooping it up, it was done in isolation to cope with an insane amount of pressure and stress.
I’m not sure I’ve even tried to be kind as a first step. My ego keeps getting in the way. The disbelief and anger have overtaken my good judgement and compassion. Funny how one can conveniently forget how to be decent in the face of uncertainty and hurt.
Trusting myself first is where I need to start working if anything positive is ever going to come of this experience.
I’m not sure I’ve even tried to be kind as a first step. My ego keeps getting in the way. The disbelief and anger have overtaken my good judgement and compassion. Funny how one can conveniently forget how to be decent in the face of uncertainty and hurt.
Trusting myself first is where I need to start working if anything positive is ever going to come of this experience.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 66
Married a longggg time. in year 7 she cheated. I lost trust. In the past few years she started drinking. I lost more trust with the lies followed by lies. Too many ties that bind to divorce. Enough love not to leave. Also like you personal sporadic misdeeds in the marriage not to be guilt free and therefore pious.
To stay or go...
At this point I think all you can do is trust but verify... that means being a PI through your days. Can you stomach it?
Sure she is "sick". Sure it would be bad to walk out on a loved one because they are "sick". Even if it is a sickness of their own choosing and making?
The great debate once again... is it choice or illness?
I can tell you one thing. If my wife cheats now... it is over. No more second chances. I wont look back damn the consequences.
So for now it's trust but verify. I'm used to it sadly enough.
So beachn, what's it gonna be?
There's no rush to decide. And divorce takes quite a while that can be stopped at any time.
Do you have full transparency? Phone, computer, gps, phone records?
These should all be wide open for you at any time without warning or asking.
She lost the privilege of privacy.
If you don't have these things she will most likely start up again.
To stay or go...
At this point I think all you can do is trust but verify... that means being a PI through your days. Can you stomach it?
Sure she is "sick". Sure it would be bad to walk out on a loved one because they are "sick". Even if it is a sickness of their own choosing and making?
The great debate once again... is it choice or illness?
I can tell you one thing. If my wife cheats now... it is over. No more second chances. I wont look back damn the consequences.
So for now it's trust but verify. I'm used to it sadly enough.
So beachn, what's it gonna be?
There's no rush to decide. And divorce takes quite a while that can be stopped at any time.
Do you have full transparency? Phone, computer, gps, phone records?
These should all be wide open for you at any time without warning or asking.
She lost the privilege of privacy.
If you don't have these things she will most likely start up again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,144
Six weeks is pretty early for full trust. Trust gets earned (reearned) little by little. H was sober for two years. It took a good year to stop wondering and start believing but full trust may never be fully regained. It depends on the Q working a program and really listening to the damage done.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Beachn…...I see that you affirm that 6wks. is a short time, when speaking of sobriety.....
I think that this can not be over emphasized.....and especially, since you say that she had diagnosed alcoholic psychosis along with anti-depressant reaction and possible other mental condition.....
The disruption of the neurotransmitters in her brain must be horrific....and, it takes a long time for those to return to balanced function...
Those who work in the field say that it takes 6months for the fog just to begin to "clear" with uncomplicted alcoholism....and a year to two years for complete healing of the organ (brain) to actually heal as much as it is going to....
During this time,,,all of the functions of the brain are still compromised....things like mood, memory, cognitive functions--like logic, planning, etc.....
***I think it might be helpful to remember that a person in psychosis or the kind of mind alteration that you wife has experienced...they will not remember much of what happened or remember it as a clear mind would....
Yet, I am sure that you remember it all in agonizing detail....
I think that this should be factored in when you are assessing the reality of your expectations of your wife during the next weeks/months/few years.....
If you have interest in what happens inside the brain, itself, you might find the following book informative and helpful....
"The Addicted Mind" ...by Michael Kuhar…..you can get it on amazon.com
I sure hope that your wife is getting intensive treatment for the alcoholism and other conditions....as less than that would be a setup for a poor outcome, in my opinion.....
And, of course, the same goes for you and your own baggage, as well.....
I think that this can not be over emphasized.....and especially, since you say that she had diagnosed alcoholic psychosis along with anti-depressant reaction and possible other mental condition.....
The disruption of the neurotransmitters in her brain must be horrific....and, it takes a long time for those to return to balanced function...
Those who work in the field say that it takes 6months for the fog just to begin to "clear" with uncomplicted alcoholism....and a year to two years for complete healing of the organ (brain) to actually heal as much as it is going to....
During this time,,,all of the functions of the brain are still compromised....things like mood, memory, cognitive functions--like logic, planning, etc.....
***I think it might be helpful to remember that a person in psychosis or the kind of mind alteration that you wife has experienced...they will not remember much of what happened or remember it as a clear mind would....
Yet, I am sure that you remember it all in agonizing detail....
I think that this should be factored in when you are assessing the reality of your expectations of your wife during the next weeks/months/few years.....
If you have interest in what happens inside the brain, itself, you might find the following book informative and helpful....
"The Addicted Mind" ...by Michael Kuhar…..you can get it on amazon.com
I sure hope that your wife is getting intensive treatment for the alcoholism and other conditions....as less than that would be a setup for a poor outcome, in my opinion.....
And, of course, the same goes for you and your own baggage, as well.....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Six weeks is absolutely nothing. I know that hurts to hear, but it's the reality.
For me, her attitude over the long term would be what makes me decide if she can be trusted. Is she, over the long term (and I mean a couple of years here), being humble, working the program, doing everything she can do to make up for the chaos she created and being a productive person? Is she respectful of you and your needs. The list goes on.
Anything less would be a hard no, and even with all of that I am not sure I would have it in me. That's just me though.
For me, her attitude over the long term would be what makes me decide if she can be trusted. Is she, over the long term (and I mean a couple of years here), being humble, working the program, doing everything she can do to make up for the chaos she created and being a productive person? Is she respectful of you and your needs. The list goes on.
Anything less would be a hard no, and even with all of that I am not sure I would have it in me. That's just me though.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
I would agree with many posts above. Is she truly working the program, humble and showing through actions, not words, that she is committed to recovery?
Are you willing to let go of the huge anger and resentment you have towards her and her actions, justifiable as it may be, to allow her a safe space to heal?
That doesn't mean the anger just goes away, but that you process it intensively and in a healthy way with a third party in marriage counseling, in anger management, and in becoming conscious of each interaction with her and your own intentions as you work together to get past this and heal your marriage.
People are right--she won't be able to fully do her "share" for quite some time due to the destruction of mental cognition, and the emotional fallout from her actions which must really be causing her great anguish if she is truly remorseful.
I think if you cannot do the above, or if she is not really ready to recover and not just stepping back to escape the fallout, than you should not stay together, at least not now, because that toxic emotion can and will really hurt your children. They shouldn't have to live with one or two people who have axes to grind, reasonable or not.
Only you can look inside yourself and know if you can let this go or not. Only you know if you in your heart will ever truly forgive her. If not, don't torture both you and her, and most especially your kids for the next few years.
We support you and of course wish healing for all of your family. People do get past such difficult circumstances, but both parties really have to get honest and do some very unpleasant processing to get there.
Are you willing to let go of the huge anger and resentment you have towards her and her actions, justifiable as it may be, to allow her a safe space to heal?
That doesn't mean the anger just goes away, but that you process it intensively and in a healthy way with a third party in marriage counseling, in anger management, and in becoming conscious of each interaction with her and your own intentions as you work together to get past this and heal your marriage.
People are right--she won't be able to fully do her "share" for quite some time due to the destruction of mental cognition, and the emotional fallout from her actions which must really be causing her great anguish if she is truly remorseful.
I think if you cannot do the above, or if she is not really ready to recover and not just stepping back to escape the fallout, than you should not stay together, at least not now, because that toxic emotion can and will really hurt your children. They shouldn't have to live with one or two people who have axes to grind, reasonable or not.
Only you can look inside yourself and know if you can let this go or not. Only you know if you in your heart will ever truly forgive her. If not, don't torture both you and her, and most especially your kids for the next few years.
We support you and of course wish healing for all of your family. People do get past such difficult circumstances, but both parties really have to get honest and do some very unpleasant processing to get there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 170
Originally Posted by dandylion
Beachn…...I see that you affirm that 6wks. is a short time, when speaking of sobriety.....
I think that this can not be over emphasized.....and especially, since you say that she had diagnosed alcoholic psychosis along with anti-depressant reaction and possible other mental condition.....
The disruption of the neurotransmitters in her brain must be horrific....and, it takes a long time for those to return to balanced function...
Those who work in the field say that it takes 6months for the fog just to begin to "clear" with uncomplicted alcoholism....and a year to two years for complete healing of the organ (brain) to actually heal as much as it is going to....
During this time,,,all of the functions of the brain are still compromised....things like mood, memory, cognitive functions--like logic, planning, etc.....
***I think it might be helpful to remember that a person in psychosis or the kind of mind alteration that you wife has experienced...they will not remember much of what happened or remember it as a clear mind would....
Yet, I am sure that you remember it all in agonizing detail....
I think that this should be factored in when you are assessing the reality of your expectations of your wife during the next weeks/months/few years.....
If you have interest in what happens inside the brain, itself, you might find the following book informative and helpful....
"The Addicted Mind" ...by Michael Kuhar…..you can get it on amazon.com
I sure hope that your wife is getting intensive treatment for the alcoholism and other conditions....as less than that would be a setup for a poor outcome, in my opinion.....
And, of course, the same goes for you and your own baggage, as well.....
I think that this can not be over emphasized.....and especially, since you say that she had diagnosed alcoholic psychosis along with anti-depressant reaction and possible other mental condition.....
The disruption of the neurotransmitters in her brain must be horrific....and, it takes a long time for those to return to balanced function...
Those who work in the field say that it takes 6months for the fog just to begin to "clear" with uncomplicted alcoholism....and a year to two years for complete healing of the organ (brain) to actually heal as much as it is going to....
During this time,,,all of the functions of the brain are still compromised....things like mood, memory, cognitive functions--like logic, planning, etc.....
***I think it might be helpful to remember that a person in psychosis or the kind of mind alteration that you wife has experienced...they will not remember much of what happened or remember it as a clear mind would....
Yet, I am sure that you remember it all in agonizing detail....
I think that this should be factored in when you are assessing the reality of your expectations of your wife during the next weeks/months/few years.....
If you have interest in what happens inside the brain, itself, you might find the following book informative and helpful....
"The Addicted Mind" ...by Michael Kuhar…..you can get it on amazon.com
I sure hope that your wife is getting intensive treatment for the alcoholism and other conditions....as less than that would be a setup for a poor outcome, in my opinion.....
And, of course, the same goes for you and your own baggage, as well.....
We are both getting intensive therapy. It’s difficult work. Your statement about her memory of events is interesting as she continues to state she is unable to offer complete timelines or explanations. In fact she has said it didn’t even seem like it was her, like watching herself in a movie.
So frustrating. Torn up by the events that have wrecked our lives and my lack of sustained compassion makes me feel like crap. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.
Thanks everyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
beachn…...I have a question...just because you dodn't mention it, specifically....
Does the intensive treatment include a program of alcoholism...like AA? I am assuming that you both are in individual therapy in addition to marriage counseling...?
I was making those statements about memory, based on my conversations with people who have been in various kinds of psychotic states...after they have recovered....
I am thinking that, at this early stage, perhaps your goal for "compassion" would be to just be able to be civil and fair....at baseline.....
Maybe, it is too soon, with the parcel of resentments...to become awash in compassionate feelings.....
Does the intensive treatment include a program of alcoholism...like AA? I am assuming that you both are in individual therapy in addition to marriage counseling...?
I was making those statements about memory, based on my conversations with people who have been in various kinds of psychotic states...after they have recovered....
I am thinking that, at this early stage, perhaps your goal for "compassion" would be to just be able to be civil and fair....at baseline.....
Maybe, it is too soon, with the parcel of resentments...to become awash in compassionate feelings.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Beachn
We are both getting intensive therapy. It’s difficult work. Your statement about her memory of events is interesting as she continues to state she is unable to offer complete timelines or explanations. In fact she has said it didn’t even seem like it was her, like watching herself in a movie.
So frustrating. Torn up by the events that have wrecked our lives and my lack of sustained compassion makes me feel like crap. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.
Thanks everyone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 170
Yes AA, Psy Dr and therapist for her. I’m seeing a therapist and working with someone that is a recovery specialist plus a group that addresses recovery from benzodiazepines, for which I am 9 months off. (For the most part 1 year alcohol). I suspect my benzo recovery, which typically takes 12-18 months if lucky, is contributing to difficulties regulating my emotions. Good ole amygdala gets ramped up under the stress of it all with broken brakes so to speak it’s tough to slow things down. GABA receptors are nothing to screw with. Anyone reading this on a benzo or thinking about it..educate yourself... the short term relief is not worth the brain damage.
Civil and fair isn’t asking much is it? Thank you for that reminder.
Civil and fair isn’t asking much is it? Thank you for that reminder.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
I also just want to send you some support and credit for all the work you are putting in trying to save your marriage and care for your family Beachn--it sounds like you too have had to deal with addiction from the addict's side, and working through all of this sober, without the pseudo-relief / escape the pills or alcohol offered, is truly an uphill climb.
You deserve great credit for doing it.
And yes, "civil and fair" is a great starting standard--
You deserve great credit for doing it.
And yes, "civil and fair" is a great starting standard--
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Good for you Beach! No matter the outcome, you are doing some good work for yourself that will pay off regardless.
Try not to feel bad about how you reacted. You were under extreme duress and she was doing some really awful things.
Big hugs!
Try not to feel bad about how you reacted. You were under extreme duress and she was doing some really awful things.
Big hugs!
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