My diary
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please click on the link below if you are feeling suicidal. We want to help you.
Canada Suicide Prevention Service | Crisis Services Canada
Canada Suicide Prevention Service | Crisis Services Canada
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Caprice, Please go to an ER immediately for help:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
I am so sorry you are hurting. I know how insidious those thoughts are, as I struggle with them as well. Remember that 57 days is still super early. I agree, call someone, anyone. You are deserving of a happy life and it can come if you give it time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by dpac414 
Hey Caprice,
We've missed you in the weekenders. Hope the dogs are good. Please keep posting, go to an ER like Anna suggested, call a hotline, anything.
We all care about you.
We've missed you in the weekenders. Hope the dogs are good. Please keep posting, go to an ER like Anna suggested, call a hotline, anything.
We all care about you.
I'm so sorry.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Not sure what your expectations for sobriety are, or what is so horrible about it, but lest you forget the misery that drinking brought you to, here is a snippet of your first post to Sober Recovery:
I have decided for the umpteenth time to give this a go again. I have not only been through these minute-by-minute living nightmares of everlasting alcohol withdrawal, but have already been hospitalized for a week for one (years ago), lost a good paying job (I hated anyway), had 2 DUI's (cost me dearly but no one else thankfully), been through therapy (but never stuck to it because I'd always end up relapsing instead), and pretty much exhausted all the walk-in clinics within my vicinity for benzos to get through withdrawals (just enough to get me through, not to remain for longer than necessary afterward), so this time, it has to be cold turkey (it also mostly has been), and I have to find a better way, seek professional help because obviously I cannot help myself at this point.
It goes back to a dozen years or so since I started daily drinking heavily - beer 8-12 (on any given day) 500 ml large cans. The longest I've gone sober was close to 3 months 2 summers ago. Usually, after withdrawals, it can last 2 weeks and once I did up to 3!
I have decided for the umpteenth time to give this a go again. I have not only been through these minute-by-minute living nightmares of everlasting alcohol withdrawal, but have already been hospitalized for a week for one (years ago), lost a good paying job (I hated anyway), had 2 DUI's (cost me dearly but no one else thankfully), been through therapy (but never stuck to it because I'd always end up relapsing instead), and pretty much exhausted all the walk-in clinics within my vicinity for benzos to get through withdrawals (just enough to get me through, not to remain for longer than necessary afterward), so this time, it has to be cold turkey (it also mostly has been), and I have to find a better way, seek professional help because obviously I cannot help myself at this point.
It goes back to a dozen years or so since I started daily drinking heavily - beer 8-12 (on any given day) 500 ml large cans. The longest I've gone sober was close to 3 months 2 summers ago. Usually, after withdrawals, it can last 2 weeks and once I did up to 3!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Hi Caprice. I second the advice above, please reach out for help.
You're right, quitting alcohol isn't a magic wand that makes problems disappear, but it can ultimately make problems easier to solve. Could you tell us what's going on? We care and we will try our best to help you.
You're right, quitting alcohol isn't a magic wand that makes problems disappear, but it can ultimately make problems easier to solve. Could you tell us what's going on? We care and we will try our best to help you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by Caprice6
Thank you to all of you, I truly don't want the attention, but that you love me? Is it really true? No one has loved me before.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I hope you'll check in and let us know you're ok Caprice.
I'd drank for years - it took me at least 3 months to start to discover what sober happiness was - and I had to admit my mental health - which I'd medicated with booze - needed some help as well.
The great thing about SR is people really do care. You're not alone Caprice
D
I'd drank for years - it took me at least 3 months to start to discover what sober happiness was - and I had to admit my mental health - which I'd medicated with booze - needed some help as well.
The great thing about SR is people really do care. You're not alone Caprice
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Caprice - Dee's right - we really do care about you. This is a compassionate group. You're important to us & you matter. Please keep posting. Never give up trying for a better life. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 701
"No one has loved me before."
That's true for many people.
You are not the only one.
It's an overwhelming burden.
But can also be an uplifting gift
when overcome.
Is there anyone in pain you can reach out to
and show them the love
you never received?
(meaning: start the cycle of love)
That's true for many people.
You are not the only one.
It's an overwhelming burden.
But can also be an uplifting gift
when overcome.
Is there anyone in pain you can reach out to
and show them the love
you never received?
(meaning: start the cycle of love)
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