Tinkerbeau

Drank again was doing so well day 16 then got concerned about lack of weight loss, posted on a thread about it but got no response so just thought sod it a couple wont change anything then. Well back on day one tomorrow and learnt i have to rely on myself no one else to help.

Dee74

Hi TB

I think you need to be a little bit tougher with yourself.

Sometimes posts get less responses than we'd like, but that not really a valid reason to drink and I think really deep down you know that?.

If your post in a thread gets no response and you really want a response, try making it a new thread next time?

As for weight loss some people lose weight right away - some it takes longer.

I didn't lose any weight at all - I put some on if anything - it took exercise and diet changes to make me lose weight.

D

kinzoku

Its hard tinkerbeau, I know. I'm sorry.

On here and elsewhere I have felt like...hey I put myself out there why is no-one responding?

But people here try very hard to reach out and respond as much as they can, especially Dee over there!

I try when I can as well even though I'm no sobriety expert.

I hope you stay here and keep posting and work through these demons.

I'll also echo what Dee said about weight loss. I never lost weight from quitting drinking. Quite the reverse.

I have to do hardcore diet and exercise to lose anything at all.

lessgravity

You posted on someone's thread, didn't get the appropriate response and so you drank?

Come on TB, you gotta have more respect for us than that. Every reason in the world to stop drinking, especially for your kid, and you use this as an excuse to drink?

Anna

Tinker, I'm sorry your thread got no responses, but I'm sure you see that drinking was not the answer. I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery. You can do this!

WaterOx

I've rarely, if ever, seen posts get zero answers, at least not here in the main newcomer's section. Even my stupid posts are bound to get 5-15

Did you perhaps post it in a less frequented section?
In any event, if you're feeling desperate, I'd post not once but maybe two or three times. We aren't so thick headed as to ignore you forever

Glad you're back here in action. That's what's most important.

FreeOwl

you'll find sobriety really rewarding. it's not something to look upon lightly.... it's not really an 'oh well'-worthy thing to dismiss.

I hope soon you'll find that out... first hand... for yourself....

MariahGayle

Tetrax

You can lose weight alongside abstinence by dieting at the same time easily enough (at least for me: if I can't drink then not eating junk is easy enough, or, at least, nothing compared to not drinking) but I doubt you'd lose much weight just with abstinence. And then the problem is sobriety doesn't necessarily become your priority, so you fall off the wagon and end up eating junk (again, talking about me...)

MariahGayle

Dropsie

Tinker,

I get it. I also never understood how I did not lose weight when giving up all those calories. Still dont.

But I do feel great and look so much better. And while I am not the weight I would like, when I see my old drinking pals, I look pretty darn good in comparison.

Just one of the hundreds of benefits from not drinking.

And it is true that I almost never get replies when posting on someone else's thread, but always when I make my own. People focus on the OP.

You can do this. WE got your back.

snitch

Tinkerbeau you have to a fight this with every fibre of your being. Sobriety HAS to be your no 1 priority. Not weight loss, not anything else, only not picking up a drink NO MATTER WHAT. I gsineed weight in early sobriety, Instead of drinking I ate sweets and chocolate, ! I thought the weight would fall off as I was 2 bottles plus of wine a day,, even with the candy I thought it would come off, but I ended up gaining about a stone. Was I happy with -that? Errrr no. But my priority was staying sober, Alcohol was going to kill me!!! Getting my head on the pillow sober at night was my greatest achievement everyday, it was only after about 8 months sober (for me ) -that I could start to address my weight issues and with healthy eating and exercise it is starting to come off. You Have to address the main issue to begin with and that is the alcohol. You have to, for it is life or death !!! Everything else will follow I promise,

have you been going to A A meetings?

snitch

I recommend the A A book Living Sober. It gives guidance on how to live and what to expect in early sobriety, it really helped me. But always , always most importantly, as it says in the book.... FIRST THINGS FIRST. A bit of extra weight won't kill you. Alcohol will.

​​​​​​​

Tinkerbeau

Thank you for your kind and helpful replies, your right i totally lost sight of the goal, to be sober, not weight loss. Well the drinking could of been worse but its still not ok, but im not going to dwell just restart as of today. Did alcohol bring anything good back in my life, bad sleep, anxiety shot back up, heartburn and nausea, so no absolutely nothing. Did my previous 16 days bring me anything yes, good sleep, confidence, energy, happiness, contentment, felt healthy !! So its a no brainer.
anyway im off to work, tired and annoyed yo have to reset back to day one, but day one is better than drinking so lets see if i can do it this time.

snitch

Don't beat yourself up hon, we are alcoholics, our default setting is to pick up a drink. Thank God nothing bad happened this time because if I pick up a drink I have NO IDEA where that drink will take me. I have had to learn how to deal with the big And the little things that happen in life on a daily basis, without picking up a drink. It IS possible. If I can do it I am telling you with 1000% certainty that you can too.

Just focus on this day ONLY, and no matter what happens don't pick up a drink TODAY. You can do something for 24 hours only. Just get your head on your pillow sober and deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes. In my experience if you need to eat to not pick up then eat . If you are worried about weight gain then maybe have something healthy on hand like carrot sticks. Personally carrot sticks weren't gonna cut it for me I was more of a strawberrry laces and dairy milk and nut kind of girl lol.

I am now dairym wheat and gluten and sugar free (90% of tge time) and I have lost that stone, nearly 11 months later. It will come I promise but for now concentrate on the main evil. Sounds like it was a little lesson you needed to learn and you can move forward now, no looking back!!!

Bug hugs and remember you are Not alone hon, ever.

Tetrax

What if tomorrow's just plain boring though?! That seems to be my experience on my sober days???

Robert88

While I was in rehab, we had to go to nutrition classes so you might want to read about nutrition on the internet. You can start exercising once you feel better. It will all work out if you want it. I am glad that you are trying to stay sober again. The important thing is that you are trying again. I am proud of you.

Dee74

I found that great expanse of time really shrank back once I had a couple of months under my belt.

In any case...here's something I found to be a genuine revelation...

the solution to boredom is to do something, be fulfilled , find purpose - it's not something that will be solved by drinking.

Not every day is a great one - but they're all at least a little bit good if I stay sober

D

Numblady

Good to have you back. I might also just echo some of the PPs (in hopefully a less harsh way than some) in that the goal is sobriety, not weight loss — but I think there’s a bigger picture. If I’m doing things right, and I regularly don’t, I have to look not only at whether I am ingesting alcohol or not but also what is my role in the things that feel as though they are happening to me. Some things I really am not in the driver’s seat on, such as what the responses of others will be. But I control my reaction. I control whether I personalize things that probably have nothing to do with me. I control whether I try to listen for some truth in what others are saying, whether I focus on the fact that some times the louder someone speaks the more they are talking to themselves. And then there are ways in which we are in the driver’s seat and can make choices that help us get where we want to go. It sounds like I am speaking only about this post but it’s really a larger proposition. Do we find ourselves a victim of circumstance (feel powerless, pick up drink in frustration) or do we find ourselves an agent of our own life and happiness (feel in control, make choices that promote happiness))).

I will also say that on the specific issue of weight loss (or all this time people keep talking about, or better skin, etc.) it didn’t really happen for me. But again, I had a choice. Was I going to resent the fact that these external changes just didn’t really happen for me? Or was I going to focus on the fact that no matter how I looked, I was much prouder of myself because I was living a life that felt a lot more authentic.

There is a part of all of us that, once we put ourselves out there on these forums, really wants to be acknowledged. I am no different. When I’m being my best self, instead of dwell on that, I try to go make someone else feel better and that usually works pretty well.

I am so glad you have the experience of the 16 days to draw from and that you can remember you really do have everyone’s support even if it doesn’t take the shape or come at the time you want it to. We are rooting for you and I look forward to seeing you back in Grat Pack. Hugs.

Delilah1

Hello,

So glad you're back today. Two good threads to post on would be The 24 hour thread, everyone there is great, and very supportive. Also, today is April 1st, and joining the Class of April 2019 would connect you with a support group of others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety this month.

I have 3 years and 3 months today, and I have found really focusing on making healthy choices for my physical and mental health has been key. I gr out and st least go for a walk each day, I use mindfulness techniques to stay in the present moment, this has been a huge key to my recovery. I also post here daily and have read lots of great recovery books.

I did lose weight in conjunction to getting sober, but it wasn't my main focus. It just naturally happened due to the calories I was taking in, plus eating junk after drinking.

Today is a great day one, check out the two threads I mentioned earlier, and read around a litttle to see what you might want to add to your recovery plan.