Polished

I confessed to my mum about the state of my drinking this morning and that I’d spent the money I was planning to return to her on alcohol. It was horrible. She reacted angrily, then was exasperated, then started to cry. She seems okay now - we’ve changed the subject as we’ve had to come out together this morning to take her to a medical appointment, but it’s not forgotten. She wants me to go to the local drug and alcohol service and get professional medical help.

So today is my day two. My goal is to get through this week without drinking, taking it day by day. I’ve got a blood test tomorrow morning to check the state of my liver. My right side is sore and throbbing as usual, so I’m frightened about what it’s going to show. It’s all coming out in the open now and I’m facing it head on, but this is so hard. I feel guilty and irresponsible and really really sad.

Accord1

Personally, I think the more loved ones that know about the state if things the better. I found it motivating. If I screwed up, I would disappoint people I cared about.

ChloeRose63

You have a real good start on beginning a new life without alcohol. Get all the help you can both professionally and personally. The more open and honest you are the better chance you have at succeeding. You must WANT to be sober. Show it with your actions. When you think about drinking remember you are not just destroying yourself but you are hurting the ones that love you. No parent wants to bury their child.

Finalround

When we bring our addiction out of the shadows we really start to see how ugly it is. The pain, the guilt, the stress and anxiety will all start to fade as we take control of ourselves and stop drinking.

Delilah1

Glad you're back on track, and sounds like you have a good relationship with your mom, that will help.

Polished

Saying the details of my drinking i.e. frequency, cost, volume etc out loud sounds very different to how it sounds in my own head. Especially watching the reactions of other people. It’s heartbreaking to be frank but I suppose it proves how the nature of the addiction is to convince you that it’s not that bad.

vxper

Try not to feel too ashamed or guilty and tell people openly about what you're struggling with. I found it gave me strength in the early days and expanded my sphere of accountability. I told my whole family and all of my close friends and they were immediately on board so I think I got lucky. But just through the act of confession I felt all of the weight of hiding my addiction begin to slide off of me.