Dandelion12

Is it just to NOT drink?

Is it because you fear "consequences"?

For myself, i would not be drinking if it did not alleviate my pain.

I dont know, but the "what you resist persists" rings true for me.

If youd like to share your thoughts it would be great.

Thanks

ReadyAtLast

I try and look at it in a positive rather than a negative way. The benefits of sobriety. Living a beter life. Sleeping better. Feeling better mentally and physically. Having peace of mind. Being a better person all round. Living not just existing and clock watching till my next glass of wine.

WeThinkNot

I have short, mid, and long term goals. My ultimate long term goal is what keeps me on the proverbial sober bus.

My dream is to retire to Las Vegas when I'm ready to close the curtain on my career. It is my absolute favorite place in the world.

I want a condo on the Strip and then every day will be a perpetual vacation for the rest of my life. Spend tons of time at the pool and gym, plenty of great restaurants and shows nearby, and a bit of allowance for some video poker. I'm from California so my friends and family would always be an hour flight away.

Drinking is not going to get me anywhere near to my goal so I better stay sober.

Evoo

This is a good question!

I’m so early in recovery that I’m still learning this.

Before sobriety:
My “goal” for years before this was moderation, normalcy, social acceptance, avoiding stigma associated with teetotalism, avoidance of responsibilities outside work, avoidance of pain/fear/anxiety, making alcohol “work.”

Today:
My goal now is health, longevity, well-being, contentment — to be a good husband and father, to be good at my work, my hobbies, my friendships, to tackle anxieties head on, to grow a little bit every day.

Alcohol is in direct competition with all of those things, so it has to go.

lessgravity

I think for the majority of people who end up on this website drinking no longer alleviated pain but rather became the source of pain in their lives. It's a sick cycle and the demon feeds itself but the end of the day drinking for people who have a problem with it is the cause of not the relief of pain.

My goal when I first came to this site was to find a way to get out of the brutal suffering that I was enduring because I drank. That goal has been accomplished. Now my goal being here is to fortify my sobriety, and maybe to find a way to help some people out like I was helped here. Plenty of other goals in my life, but I guess those are the two that matter for my presence on this site these days.

ScottFromWI

That's quite a loaded question with a whole bunch of possible answers. I'm going to answer as it relates to my drinking.

For me, drinking was a way to escape/avoid/run away from things that made me uncomfortable. I guess you could call some of them "pain" inducing as well. And honestly the substance could have probably been anything - alcohol, pot, cocaine, heroin - it probably didn't matter really. And early on in my life it actually worked to an extent - alcohol made my social anxiety easier to deal with for example. But of course it was not really a "cure" - it was just a way to avoid facing the problems head on. And eventually, drinking didn't even alleviate the anxiety anymore - physically needed to keep drinking all day/every day just to keep myself from going into withdrawals and keep my heart rate down. I would have heart palpitations soon after alcohol started leaving my system for good. Sounds extreme, but it happens to just about every alcoholic at some point - the only question is when.

So initially my goal was to stop drinking because it caused more problems than it solved.

Now my goal is to face my problems head on instead running away. For me specifically that meant seeking professional help for my anxiety. Also taking care of my physical health. Doing all three of those things allowed me to start living life as life presents itself. For example, if something stressful with my kids happens I no longer immediately run out to the garage to chug a couple of beers. I am able to face those issues and try to help instead of being absent.

And none of those things could have happened until I first stopped drinking alcohol.

Doris47

At this point, to just say sober x

Suzieq17

Short term—to stay sober and take control of my life back

Long term—to stay sober, understand the “why” of it all, create a better life for me, my family and my children

I read some of your posts and I know you are struggling. Instead of just not drinking, start not drinking and making changes.

I literally melted down on this site last week—that motivated this week to make an appointment to see a therapist. I just can’t not drink. I need to make changes. I am rooting for you and hope my post helps.

MantaLady

When I found SR my goal was to stop getting drunk as I feared the consequences, they were getting more and more serious. That is the only goal I had.

It wasn't until I started reading here more and more, getting some sober time and going to rehab that I realised drinking wasn't the actual problem, not really. The reason I drank was, but I had absolutely no self awareness and was in a total state of denial initially so I didn't link drinking to feeling sad or anxious or running away from my problems. I really just thought everything and me was absolutely fine, stop drinking and everything would be flowers and rainbows!!

Now my goals are totally different and not drinking is not really one of them a such as I have taken it off the table as an option. Now I want to try and be the best version of me I can be, I want to be healthy, get out more and live life instead of watching it go by and feeling sorry for myself. I want to be kinder, more tolerant, more passionate about things, support others and be a good and reliable human being. xx

tonggau

I stopped because I was scared of health consequences if I continued to drink and I had already failed moderate so many times. Now, two years later, it's about so much more - life is just much better without alcohol. Even if there was some magic pill that would make it possible to drink without hurting your health, today I would still stay sober.

readyt0change

i want to live a satisfying life.

work a job that i love, have a family and be a normal human being. i want to feel like i have some purpose in life.

since i got into doing drugs and alcohol it's pretty much all gone downhill. i'm 26 now and trying to pick up the pieces and shape up before its too late.

matrac

I stopped drinking because I didn’t feel good when I drank, I wasted precious time with my children and others, I said things I regretted, I wasn’t thinking clearly and couldn’t do some of the things that I enjoy because they required driving or concentration. My goal in getting sober then was to regain what drinking costs me. Finding another way to alleviate anxiety or to unwind is a small price to pay for what I get in return.

CupofJoe

When I first got sober, I just didn't want to die. Getting through a day at a time was about all I could handle. I was a mess.

Then my goal was to figure out how to enjoy life sober.

As time moves on, my goals are more personal, like how to make the most out of life. I have hobbies, interests, passions, pursuits, dreams, goals. I'm doing things I used to only dream of.

I do know that I would lose it all if I started drinking again. Thankfully, that seems a very remote possibility.

I'm curious what pain alcohol relieves for you, from your perspective.

I thought alcohol was helping me, but it turns out I was very, very wrong. I was running to alcohol to protect me from the pain that my drinking was causing.

I hope you can find a way out.

fini

to be real in reality.
what is yours?

SIB

A better and more fulfilling purpose, get back into some hobbies to stay busy - not so busy its a stress fest, just a fuller life with meaning in life and career. If I hit the bottle everything just stops. I've literally made more moves in the past 25 sober days than I have in the past 3 years. Its not hard to see where things will go if I keep being a lazy useless drunk.

kiki26

I could answer this with ten pages. But the short of it is, I want to live my life, presently. Drinking takes everything away, and is not living in reality for me. Thankfully sobriety is giving me a second chance.

Robert88

My first goal was to get to rehab as soon as possible. I did not have the money at the time to do that and I did not have the insurance to go. I had to wait a whole year before my insurance kicked in. At this point, I was no longer using to feel good but using to not get sick. I had crossed that line a long time ago. I used until January 16, 2019. This is my clean date and I made it to rehab on that day.

Now my goal is to continue to work on myself daily. I read self-help books. I go to NA and AA meetings. I am working on getting a sponsor so that I can work the 12-steps with them. I am basically doing anything that I do not want to do because I know that it will help me in the end because my ways lead to pain and possibly death.

My final goal for now is to move to Las Vegas because I had to come here for rehab anyways. I have to rebuild myself from the bottom of a pit. I do not have any money to start with. I don't have a car or a job anymore and I am in debt. I know that I can do it. It is just going to be really hard at first but so worth it. I can look back one day and be like wow I did it. I do not want to go back to New Mexico. That is a relapse for sure. I will continue to get the care that I need for the 90 days that I was promised even though my rehab facility is shutting down early. I will go to another facility. I am trying to get my driver's license for Nevada and look for work. I plan on doing sober living for 1-2 years. I am just sick and tired of doing things my way. If anyone needs some help or motivation, I can tell you more about what I do each day. It is hard as hell. There are days where I don't feel like going to a meeting. There are days when I hate everyone. I just push through for now because I know that it will get better. I have really good days. I am going to see a psychiatrist when I can so they can help me with my anxiety issues.

Kaneda8888

My goals kept evolving during the early years of sobriety. As time passed and I delved deeper into a spiritual practice, my goals became simpler. Serenity, contentedness, well being and no regrets are my goals. Maybe they will change as more time passes by.

August252015

I echo many of the sentiments above, especially those about how my goals and plans have evolved as my sobriety has lengthened. So, I'll give a bit of a different slant.

My goal today is service to my husband - we are in a cycle of putting the other first and being sweet and just acting out of love of the other first and it is feeding on itself in the best way. So, today I sent him off with lunch and I will do the laundry rather than leave it for the weekend.

And, I will be of service to one of my closest friends - her beloved dog was just diagnosed with cancer so I will be keeping him mornings this week while she works.

I will adjust and enhance plans as each day presents itself.

This is the glorious and free part of being 3yr and 4 days sober.

Today.

WhoDeyPI

I have my main goal, and my sub-goals:

Main: Don't drink because my liver is shot and I'd like to live.

Sub-Goals:

-Get back down to my preferred weight of 170. I weighed 224 on day 1 of my sobriety. I weigh 187 now.

-Run a 7 minute mile. I'm at around 12 minutes right now.

-Lose midsection fat. I guess this is part of losing weight.

So basically, my motivation lies with first healing my organs from within, for the sake of my health, and then looking and feeling even healthier.