Homeless Sister
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Homeless Sister
I sent my sister to Jax, FL to a Sober Living American home 2 weeks before Christmas, where she shared an apt. with 6 other women. It was a sucky situation in a 2 bedroom apt and pretty much slum ville in a complex with lots of other addicts trying to change... Or should I say ran out of options. They provided her with a bed, a job and ride. I sent her down there with the basics and she could have pulled through but she chose to leave on Jan. 3rd.
Went to a homeless shelter and got into a residential program at the shelter. She chose to leave the that program on 1/15. She is currently sleeping in a park in Jax. Fl. I got a call from today as one of the ladies from the mission spotted her and made her call me. All she said was I'm alive, and then started balling. She didn't ask for anything at all. I can tell she is close to death.
All I can do it cry. I can't save her anymore. I've tried and tried. I'm in thousands of dollars and so much emotional pain. I guess I have to just let her die on the streets in a different state where she doesn't know anyone. I wonder if I will even get notified if she does end up dead.
For any of you that have recently read my post about terminating my mother from my company, as if that wasn't enough stress.
Just wondering how to handle this without going into saving mode...
I'm tired of this family.
Sidenote: just went to court with my brother on Monday as he and my adult nephew had a brawl on Christmas morning and my brother is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
My nephew live with my Alcoholic Mother and they share a wall with my brother (duplex). My mother is not a good example sitting in her kitchen day in and day out drinking....
Went to a homeless shelter and got into a residential program at the shelter. She chose to leave the that program on 1/15. She is currently sleeping in a park in Jax. Fl. I got a call from today as one of the ladies from the mission spotted her and made her call me. All she said was I'm alive, and then started balling. She didn't ask for anything at all. I can tell she is close to death.
All I can do it cry. I can't save her anymore. I've tried and tried. I'm in thousands of dollars and so much emotional pain. I guess I have to just let her die on the streets in a different state where she doesn't know anyone. I wonder if I will even get notified if she does end up dead.
For any of you that have recently read my post about terminating my mother from my company, as if that wasn't enough stress.
Just wondering how to handle this without going into saving mode...
I'm tired of this family.
Sidenote: just went to court with my brother on Monday as he and my adult nephew had a brawl on Christmas morning and my brother is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
My nephew live with my Alcoholic Mother and they share a wall with my brother (duplex). My mother is not a good example sitting in her kitchen day in and day out drinking....
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It helped me to turn the care of my addicted son over to God each morning in prayer, and then let God do for him what I cannot.
Love cannot save our addicts, if it could not one of us would be here.
Your sister knows where the real help is when she is ready. Perhaps living like this with help her decide sooner rather than later, to change her life.
My heart hurts for you, I truly know your pain.
Love cannot save our addicts, if it could not one of us would be here.
Your sister knows where the real help is when she is ready. Perhaps living like this with help her decide sooner rather than later, to change her life.
My heart hurts for you, I truly know your pain.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
joy57
I don't know if this will help, but there is a poem by Mary Oliver called The Journey that helps me from time to time. I posted it below.
The one consolation is that at least she is in Florida and not in the cold north. And as others have said, there is help and she's even experienced some of it. It's like helping a drowning person, you can only save them if they stop struggling - otherwise you get pulled down too. Prayers for this whole situation.
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
- Mary Oliver
I don't know if this will help, but there is a poem by Mary Oliver called The Journey that helps me from time to time. I posted it below.
The one consolation is that at least she is in Florida and not in the cold north. And as others have said, there is help and she's even experienced some of it. It's like helping a drowning person, you can only save them if they stop struggling - otherwise you get pulled down too. Prayers for this whole situation.
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
- Mary Oliver
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Troubledone wow profound thank you so much. She has recently been arrested for selling cocaine. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is to know she is off the streets. So sad to feel happy that a loved one is locked up. I will not accept her calls.
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