Tinkerbeau

Im such a mess i have failed again and done nothing but drink all weekend im so ill i cant even make it to work. Im so sad and tired. I know im an alcoholic now and i hate it and hate me. Ive got no one im so lonely, sorry for letting everyone down.

Dee74

I doubt anyone here feels let down - we understand how hard it is....it took me 15 years to stop for good...

In the end, I had to look honestly at what I was doing to try and stay sober - and admit that, if I really wanted change, I had to do more.

Maybe joining the November support thread could be a start?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-2-a-16.html

Supports really important - where do you stand on things like AA?

D

Kid50

Sweetpeacan

TinkerBeau,

Take good care of yourself today. I know how you feel, I have been there many times and it's horrible.

Keep it simple today, rest when you can, rehydrate plenty and eat as well as you can. Watch some junk box sets and if you feel up to it a long soak in some scented bubble bath (my personal favourite). Simply be kind to yourself, you deserve it. We all do.

Sending Love & Best Wishes for you to get through today,will be thinking of you. SP

PhoenixJ

you are not alone
check out the stuff Dee suggested
no judgements here, but prayers and support
keep posting

Tinkerbeau

Thank u all for your kind word's, i wish i could find a way through this i just feel so lost, and so so tired of everything

lostinjersey1

My ex just released for the fifth time....now he's locked in a house surrounded by vodka bottles with no heat It's very cold here in jersey. I am broken...

Please understand no one ius judging you, today can be the day you turn it all around. Stay hydrated, try to beat and relax.

I will pray for you. We all wish the best for you.

Guener

Beating yourself up, TinkerBeau, isn't helpful. Nobody here is rolling their eyes at you, only wishing you a new beginning at it that can stick. Dee's advice is a good start, you can proceed anew with it in mind to perhaps do things a bit differently.

wildflower70

Like the others have said, we understand. In my time here on SR (around 3 years) I have posted so many Day 1s and I felt like a complete failure. I would leave for awhile and stay in the madness of drinking, but I always came back.......and now I am no longer drinking and have no desire to drink. You can stop this madness. You can find your way out.

Can you get out of work?

Tinkerbeau

Thank you wildflower, how did you finally stop ? I have rang in sick today but feel like even more of failure as love my job so im letting more ppl down

mns1

Fearlessat50

Hey TB, you are not letting anyone down. Getting free from addiction is a process. Recovery is a life long journey. Please be patient with yourself and be kind. I saw in your post “I know I’m an alcoholic now.” That is a giant step in the right direction. Embrace this self awareness and let it motivate you to action.

To completely stop drinking, you have to make a commitment to not only stop drinking but completely overhaul your thinking and behaviors. It is well worth it!

It is difficult I’m the beginning but you can do this! You are not alone. We’ve all been where you are.

Surround yourself with support. Come here daily to check in, read stories, help others and help yourself. Like Dee said, join the Nov support thread.

Consider whether you also need face to face support. Many join AA. That was not my path. I went to individual therapy for over a year. Still go occasionally. I had to get to the root of why I started drinking heavily, come to terms with my past, and develop new coping skills. I also still do meditation and yoga.

Life is still difficult at times. But that will be the case whether drinking or not. Going through life sober is so much better in every situation.

There is a better life for you. Start today and don’t look back. Just take it one day at a time. What can you do for yourself just for today? For me it started with self care and just not taking that first drink.

Fearlessat50

15 years! Wow, Dee! Glad you are here to inspire others.

wildflower70

I have had different amounts of sobriety time over the past 5 years, 8 months, 6 months, 4 months, ect....But I kept going back in the end. For me, I have decided that sobriety is more important than the things that led up to my relapses. Dating, social events, and even time with family have been major triggers, and I'm seeing that now for what it is...a danger zone. I am now putting my sobriety first! Above anything else.

I hope you can find a way to do it, I have never regretted a single moment of sobriety. Be strong and fight like you never have before

thomas11

You haven't let anyone down here, you've only let yourself down and that is why you are upset. Totally normal. Most all of us have been there.

Focus on today, eat, drink fluids and rest. Get your mind right for work tomorrow. Wish you the best.

Anna

I sure remember feeling so tired of it all and so hateful towards myself. The thing is, this is exactly where your disease wants you to be in order to keep you hooked. Have faith that you can do this. Start with today and get rid of the alcohol you have in the house. Sit down and make a plan that will help you get through the day. Keep reading and posting here at SR.

Hawkeye13

I've had plenty of relapses in the past year, but am turning it around at 51 days sober now.

Just get that Day 1 and start again.
You can do it!

NerfThis

I'm 120 days sober and still vividly remember that crippling anxiety, depression and self loathing after a weekend binge. I fully sympathize with you, but it will get easier as long as you do everything in your power to not drink to try to 'fix' that terrible feeling, as it will only get worse.

Also remain vigilant and do not decide that one or two drinks are ok once you start to feel better in a few days. I was stuck on that awful cycle for too long and decided this year that I simply couldn't take that awful feeling of sadness, loneliness, tiredness and guilt of letting myself and others down any more.

Hooped

Hardest thing I've ever done was to quit drinking. It was also the best thing. Keep trying it's worth it.

Midwest1981

I remember those feelings well. I finally had enough of being sick and feeling all that shame so I quit. It was hard at first but things got getter. I started to feel well and the shame went away eventually.

Start tomorrow by going back to work and have a plan for the weekend!