New, scared, confused, and heartbroken
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 43
New, scared, confused, and heartbroken
Hello! Like alot of people, I never thought I would be in the situation I am in. I fell in love with a person struggling with an alcohol addiction. After two months of veing put on the back burner, to what i thoight was his friends or another girl, he told me, "im an alcoholic." I did tell him that i couldnt stay with someone who wouldnt make me a priority, the alcohol part was not my concern at that moment, I figured that was something we could address. He told me a few days later, when we were tentatively deciding on a date to figure out our next move (his idea of how to address the potetial inevitable of parting ways), he texted me "can we just slow down I miss you and happy Thanksgiving". I know the slow down part was not about our relationship since it was moving at a snails pace anyway. I let him know that i would for him and told him I missed him too. There has been no further communication since and I made it very clear the balls in his court. With that being said, I will not be the to open the lines of communication.
I'm confused, terribly...and on uncharted territory which is why i started looking on line for potential help about understanding this whole situation. So, I am here...hoping grab as much info i can to learn how to deal with this and potentially be there for him should he contact me.
Thank you
I'm confused, terribly...and on uncharted territory which is why i started looking on line for potential help about understanding this whole situation. So, I am here...hoping grab as much info i can to learn how to deal with this and potentially be there for him should he contact me.
Thank you
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Welcome!
I'm sorry for your situation. I hope that your boyfriend decides to seek help for his alcoholism. There is little you can do concerning his addiction. The best thing is for you to focus on yourself at this time. Also, you might check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.
I'm sorry for your situation. I hope that your boyfriend decides to seek help for his alcoholism. There is little you can do concerning his addiction. The best thing is for you to focus on yourself at this time. Also, you might check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 136
Hello...coming from me, as a man who has struggled with alcohol and relationships...you can’t do anything for him until he decides to help himself.....took me years to figure this out for myself...focus on you and what makes you happy...at the end of the day we all get to live this life one time so do what’s best for you!
There's little you can do to have an effect on your bf. He'll only get sober if he wants to. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi and welcome Kna
Thats what alcoholism is tho - making drinking a priority.
His alcoholism/addiction is an issue, even if you don't feel it is right now.
I dunno if this guy is great when he's not drinking, or what but you've had a taste of what life would be like with this guy, as things are now.
until he decides to stop drinking - for himself - not for anyone else - I can't see things are going to get better, I'm afraid.
I hope you can find the strength to move on and find someone who is able to give you what you want
D
I did tell him that i couldnt stay with someone who wouldnt make me a priority, the alcohol part was not my concern at that moment, I figured that was something we could address.
His alcoholism/addiction is an issue, even if you don't feel it is right now.
I dunno if this guy is great when he's not drinking, or what but you've had a taste of what life would be like with this guy, as things are now.
until he decides to stop drinking - for himself - not for anyone else - I can't see things are going to get better, I'm afraid.
I hope you can find the strength to move on and find someone who is able to give you what you want
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
Originally Posted by Kna810 
Hello! Like alot of people, I never thought I would be in the situation I am in. I fell in love with a person struggling with an alcohol addiction. After two months of veing put on the back burner, to what i thoight was his friends or another girl, he told me, "im an alcoholic." I did tell him that i couldnt stay with someone who wouldnt make me a priority, the alcohol part was not my concern at that moment, I figured that was something we could address. He told me a few days later, when we were tentatively deciding on a date to figure out our next move (his idea of how to address the potetial inevitable of parting ways), he texted me "can we just slow down I miss you and happy Thanksgiving". I know the slow down part was not about our relationship since it was moving at a snails pace anyway. I let him know that i would for him and told him I missed him too. There has been no further communication since and I made it very clear the balls in his court. With that being said, I will not be the to open the lines of communication.
I'm confused, terribly...and on uncharted territory which is why i started looking on line for potential help about understanding this whole situation. So, I am here...hoping grab as much info i can to learn how to deal with this and potentially be there for him should he contact me.
Thank you
I'm confused, terribly...and on uncharted territory which is why i started looking on line for potential help about understanding this whole situation. So, I am here...hoping grab as much info i can to learn how to deal with this and potentially be there for him should he contact me.
Thank you
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