Day 5
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7
Day 5
Day 5 and wow, what an emotional and scary time it has been. I opted for a medical detox because I'd been daily drinker for such a long time and am very glad I did.
Moving forward, I knew I'd have to deal with why I drank in the first place and urges to drink. Figured it out pretty quick when I got home from work and the house was cluttered, dishes and laundry needed done. Part of the reason I drank at night was to make these tasks tolerable. After 2 drinks, they might be enjoyable. Oh heck, might as well have 3! F*ck it, let's have "just one more." I also feel resentful I am no longer working in my field of study and expertise (by circumstance), so drinking made me forget about that. So I'm very in touch with the "why", and haven't given in to he thoughts of "just one". I've worked too hard. Just one what? 10 minutes of a good feeling? Not worth it.
I look forward to being a non-drinker this holiday season. I look forward to not having to worry about where to find the beer/wine at night. This is going to be awesome.
Worries: I have suffered from anorexia nervosa in the past (it nearly killed me). I feel like my brain might be trying to find a "fix". It's switched its focus to calories, exercise, calories. This isn't an anorexia forum so, not sure what to do but find one of those.
Moving forward, I knew I'd have to deal with why I drank in the first place and urges to drink. Figured it out pretty quick when I got home from work and the house was cluttered, dishes and laundry needed done. Part of the reason I drank at night was to make these tasks tolerable. After 2 drinks, they might be enjoyable. Oh heck, might as well have 3! F*ck it, let's have "just one more." I also feel resentful I am no longer working in my field of study and expertise (by circumstance), so drinking made me forget about that. So I'm very in touch with the "why", and haven't given in to he thoughts of "just one". I've worked too hard. Just one what? 10 minutes of a good feeling? Not worth it.
I look forward to being a non-drinker this holiday season. I look forward to not having to worry about where to find the beer/wine at night. This is going to be awesome.
Worries: I have suffered from anorexia nervosa in the past (it nearly killed me). I feel like my brain might be trying to find a "fix". It's switched its focus to calories, exercise, calories. This isn't an anorexia forum so, not sure what to do but find one of those.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Welcome NGNL, it's always great to see another newcomer like me show up.
I can relate to the housework and drinking relationship, I did the same. It was a complete distraction from the things that were bothering me, and the booze made the tedium of the work less intrusive. If I could at least clean up my environment, then the alcohol was "helpful" wasn't it?
But you kind of glossed over the question of having resentment about your being out of work in your field. I haven't had the occasion to search SR on the topic of resentments, but I'm sure there is a lot of commentary about it. I, too, am now working out of my real area of expertise, but not by choice. I've had to let go of that possibility, and it still saddens me sometimes, but it's better for my sobriety.
I'd definitely seek out help (again) over your anorexia.
I'm sure that the long-timers and newcomers alike will come around to add their welcomes and to proffer some additional advice.
I can relate to the housework and drinking relationship, I did the same. It was a complete distraction from the things that were bothering me, and the booze made the tedium of the work less intrusive. If I could at least clean up my environment, then the alcohol was "helpful" wasn't it?
But you kind of glossed over the question of having resentment about your being out of work in your field. I haven't had the occasion to search SR on the topic of resentments, but I'm sure there is a lot of commentary about it. I, too, am now working out of my real area of expertise, but not by choice. I've had to let go of that possibility, and it still saddens me sometimes, but it's better for my sobriety.
I'd definitely seek out help (again) over your anorexia.
I'm sure that the long-timers and newcomers alike will come around to add their welcomes and to proffer some additional advice.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi no goodnames left 
we're not an anorexia forum, no but a few of our members have similar experiences so never feel as if you won;t find support here
There's an eating disorders forum here too if you want more reading or contacts.
If I were you I wouldn't hit the panic button just yet - most of us crave and a lot of us find that craving shifts to food, and obsessions about it, either way .
That you're aware of it and of possible dangers is a great tool to have
D
we're not an anorexia forum, no but a few of our members have similar experiences so never feel as if you won;t find support here
There's an eating disorders forum here too if you want more reading or contacts.
If I were you I wouldn't hit the panic button just yet - most of us crave and a lot of us find that craving shifts to food, and obsessions about it, either way .
That you're aware of it and of possible dangers is a great tool to have
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Welcome, and as Dee said, I'm sure you will find support here for your eating disorder. Also, we have a book list compiled by our members and these might interest you:
Eating Disorders
Collins, Judy Cravings
Fonda, Jane My Life So Far
Gold, Tracy Room To Grow
Johnston, Kristen Guts
Knapp, Caroline Appetites: Why Women Want
Roth, Geneen Women, Food & God
Wilson, Carnie Gut Feeling
Eating Disorders
Collins, Judy Cravings
Fonda, Jane My Life So Far
Gold, Tracy Room To Grow
Johnston, Kristen Guts
Knapp, Caroline Appetites: Why Women Want
Roth, Geneen Women, Food & God
Wilson, Carnie Gut Feeling
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