I Made Two Years
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
I Made Two Years
Hello everyone,
Well, tomorrow is actually my anniversary, but I'll be working late and going to bed early, so I figured I'd do this today. I don't think there's much of a chance of relapse in the next twenty-four hours.
It's been a hard road. I was a longtime heavy drinker. Decades of abuse. For the past ten or so years I've "tried" to quit numerous times, making it almost exactly six months at one point.
What works? That's complicated. We are not simple creatures and what works for one--or for ten thousand--may not work for another.
On October first, twenty-sixteen I was helping out at an artistic event. I did that sort of thing, and not a whole lot of people knew how much of a problem I had. I had actually managed to cut back, but cutting back does not cut it. You see, I was still feeding the monkey. The up and down roller coaster of alcohol use after being such a hard drunk for thirty years was almost worse than steady drinking.
Anyway, my new girlfriend and I were at this event. Afterward, some of us walked down the block to a bar and we had an open tab. Paid for by the museum. I drank numerous large strong beers. Then we went back to my girl's place and I hit the liquor cabinet.
I woke up the next morning with a vicious hangover. I was in the spare bedroom, alone. Lying there, in misery, I had hard thoughts. I was falling in love with this woman, and I knew that it would never work with alcohol in my life.
It was a crossroads. I could go back to a life of declining health, wretched solitude, hangovers, wasted money, and overall unhappiness, or I could put that all behind me and embrace a new life.
I chose the latter. No more "trying" to quit. I was done. Period.
Was it hard? Oh my God, yes. I went through physical withdrawals, cravings, depression, you name it. I had to learn how to live all over again.
Gradually it got better. And better.
A.A. talks about Promises. I was never much for the program, but I did go for a few months. At the time I thought that the promises would never work out for me. Nothing good would ever happen to me. The general defeatist views of a career drunk.
But good things did happen. I was promoted at work. I started making much more money. I was spending much less money, and when I do splurge, it's on trips and fun stuff that enrich my life.
I was married. I never had any family to speak of, but my wife's has embraced me. I am loved and appreciated.
The new position at work brings on more stress and more responsibility. It's hard. I work harder than ever.
I still have moments when I want a drink. They are brief and they pass quickly. The old addiction still does not want to give up. It gets weaker all the time, though.
I wake up feeling good. I don't fear the future. I'm not as coldly cynical as I was when alcohol had me in its grip.
I enjoy books like I did when I was young, before it all went bad. I enjoy music, and concerts are more fun when I'm sober. We go to art chows, festivals, family events. Things I would sneer at when I was drunk.
To those still struggling, please don't give up. If I can do this, you can. I know how hard it is. Change is rarely easy, and it's a complete overhaul of your life. It takes time, but the rewards are infinite. And it keeps getting better.
Well, tomorrow is actually my anniversary, but I'll be working late and going to bed early, so I figured I'd do this today. I don't think there's much of a chance of relapse in the next twenty-four hours.
It's been a hard road. I was a longtime heavy drinker. Decades of abuse. For the past ten or so years I've "tried" to quit numerous times, making it almost exactly six months at one point.
What works? That's complicated. We are not simple creatures and what works for one--or for ten thousand--may not work for another.
On October first, twenty-sixteen I was helping out at an artistic event. I did that sort of thing, and not a whole lot of people knew how much of a problem I had. I had actually managed to cut back, but cutting back does not cut it. You see, I was still feeding the monkey. The up and down roller coaster of alcohol use after being such a hard drunk for thirty years was almost worse than steady drinking.
Anyway, my new girlfriend and I were at this event. Afterward, some of us walked down the block to a bar and we had an open tab. Paid for by the museum. I drank numerous large strong beers. Then we went back to my girl's place and I hit the liquor cabinet.
I woke up the next morning with a vicious hangover. I was in the spare bedroom, alone. Lying there, in misery, I had hard thoughts. I was falling in love with this woman, and I knew that it would never work with alcohol in my life.
It was a crossroads. I could go back to a life of declining health, wretched solitude, hangovers, wasted money, and overall unhappiness, or I could put that all behind me and embrace a new life.
I chose the latter. No more "trying" to quit. I was done. Period.
Was it hard? Oh my God, yes. I went through physical withdrawals, cravings, depression, you name it. I had to learn how to live all over again.
Gradually it got better. And better.
A.A. talks about Promises. I was never much for the program, but I did go for a few months. At the time I thought that the promises would never work out for me. Nothing good would ever happen to me. The general defeatist views of a career drunk.
But good things did happen. I was promoted at work. I started making much more money. I was spending much less money, and when I do splurge, it's on trips and fun stuff that enrich my life.
I was married. I never had any family to speak of, but my wife's has embraced me. I am loved and appreciated.
The new position at work brings on more stress and more responsibility. It's hard. I work harder than ever.
I still have moments when I want a drink. They are brief and they pass quickly. The old addiction still does not want to give up. It gets weaker all the time, though.
I wake up feeling good. I don't fear the future. I'm not as coldly cynical as I was when alcohol had me in its grip.
I enjoy books like I did when I was young, before it all went bad. I enjoy music, and concerts are more fun when I'm sober. We go to art chows, festivals, family events. Things I would sneer at when I was drunk.
To those still struggling, please don't give up. If I can do this, you can. I know how hard it is. Change is rarely easy, and it's a complete overhaul of your life. It takes time, but the rewards are infinite. And it keeps getting better.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Congratulations! This is a huge milestone- in some ways much more so than the first year, for me. I have certainly kept learning and growing in my third year- which is really important as I am able to handle things in life my family and I are facing.
Best to you. Keep going, indeed.
Best to you. Keep going, indeed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Originally Posted by livinginhope 
For the past ten or so years i've "tried" to quit numerous times, making it almost exactly six months at one point.
No more "trying" to quit. I was done. Period.
No more "trying" to quit. I was done. Period.
My experience was (is) very similar. Congrats, and thanks for the validation!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Glen Allen, Va
Posts: 2,589
Congrats on two years sobriety! I found your post very inspirational. I wish it wasn’t so, but it does take a long time to start enjoying sobriety and no longer missing drinking. I’m glad you made it
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