Little Things...big triggers
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midland, MI
Posts: 159
Little Things...big triggers
My best friend invited me to go to church with her this morning and I agreed. I don’t regularly attend her church but thought it would be nice. The first service of the month they do communion and I participated. When it came to the “wine” it was cranberry juice and even though I had read in the program that it was juice when it hit my tongue I thought, “Isn’t this great that they are using something non-alcoholic so it won’t be as much of a problem for alcoholics.”
Then I started to cry, because yes, that was my first thought, not what it symbolizes to the faithful. I thought of the disease of alcoholism.
My wounds are still fresh and raw, so I know it won’t always be like this, but that hit me, hard.
I haven’t attended an Al-Anon meeting nor the fun cookout they have planned for today because it is so raw right now that I just can’t face hearing or talking about it with the group at the moment. I know that won’t always be the same, either, but it is right now.
It is easier on the forums because I can pick it up or put it down at my own whim and I don’t have to look any of you wonderful people in the eye.
Thanks for reading.
Then I started to cry, because yes, that was my first thought, not what it symbolizes to the faithful. I thought of the disease of alcoholism.
My wounds are still fresh and raw, so I know it won’t always be like this, but that hit me, hard.
I haven’t attended an Al-Anon meeting nor the fun cookout they have planned for today because it is so raw right now that I just can’t face hearing or talking about it with the group at the moment. I know that won’t always be the same, either, but it is right now.
It is easier on the forums because I can pick it up or put it down at my own whim and I don’t have to look any of you wonderful people in the eye.
Thanks for reading.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
God/Great Spirit/Universe tends to bring me to experiences like that to help work out things inside me.
One day at a time.
Raw emotions can be difficult to deal with. They can also be very healing. I typically see this much better in retrospect than in the moment. ((((hugs))))
One day at a time.
Raw emotions can be difficult to deal with. They can also be very healing. I typically see this much better in retrospect than in the moment. ((((hugs))))
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
when it hit my tongue I thought, “Isn’t this great that they are using something non-alcoholic so it won’t be as much of a problem for alcoholics.”
I was struck by a great beauty in this, and still am.
It's a positive, kind thought. I know many alcoholics in recovery.
I keep getting brought to looking at my thoughts and actions from many viewpoints. Once I become willing to let go of my preconceptions, suddenly a new viewpoint arises again. Willingness to grow, to let my experiences with trauma, dysfunctional relationships and addictions become a balanced thought, a prayer, an action of good, of acknowledgment of these things, my recovery and relationships grow stronger.
Once I'm willing to let go of control is a huge part. Acknowledging goodness in these things rather than controlling what happens or how.
I was struck by a great beauty in this, and still am.
It's a positive, kind thought. I know many alcoholics in recovery.
I keep getting brought to looking at my thoughts and actions from many viewpoints. Once I become willing to let go of my preconceptions, suddenly a new viewpoint arises again. Willingness to grow, to let my experiences with trauma, dysfunctional relationships and addictions become a balanced thought, a prayer, an action of good, of acknowledgment of these things, my recovery and relationships grow stronger.
Once I'm willing to let go of control is a huge part. Acknowledging goodness in these things rather than controlling what happens or how.
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