The "Addiction is a CHOICE" debate
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The "Addiction is a CHOICE" debate
Hi.
Now that I've got your attention I wanted to share an opinion.
This debate about whether addiction is a CHOICE is less important than some of you might think.
The REALLY important point about CHOICE is this:
SOBRIETY IS A CHOICE.
*I'll let that sit for a minute..... take your time....*
OK - so now that you've turned it over and formulated your inner responses here's what I'll end it with.
My opinion comes from my experience.
It also comes from over 5 years of observing others' experiences.
Your experience might be different.
But I believe that regardless of whether addiction is or isn't a choice.... regardless how far down the well you've gone... the way out of it, the way to a life beyond addiction, begins with CHOICE.
I believe that absent a choice. A real choice. A daily choice. A heartfelt choice. A conscious DECISION on our part that SOBRIETY is what we want...... there can be no recovery.
THAT is the choice it's most productive to focus on.
Assuming you'd like a happy, joyful, grateful, rich and present life.
Leave the debate of the 'choice' of addiction to the addiction counselors and the academicians.
Now that I've got your attention I wanted to share an opinion.
This debate about whether addiction is a CHOICE is less important than some of you might think.
The REALLY important point about CHOICE is this:
SOBRIETY IS A CHOICE.
*I'll let that sit for a minute..... take your time....*
OK - so now that you've turned it over and formulated your inner responses here's what I'll end it with.
My opinion comes from my experience.
It also comes from over 5 years of observing others' experiences.
Your experience might be different.
But I believe that regardless of whether addiction is or isn't a choice.... regardless how far down the well you've gone... the way out of it, the way to a life beyond addiction, begins with CHOICE.
I believe that absent a choice. A real choice. A daily choice. A heartfelt choice. A conscious DECISION on our part that SOBRIETY is what we want...... there can be no recovery.
THAT is the choice it's most productive to focus on.
Assuming you'd like a happy, joyful, grateful, rich and present life.
Leave the debate of the 'choice' of addiction to the addiction counselors and the academicians.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I have this discussion with my mom at times Regarding my sib’s alcohol addiction.
She has some dementia so I’m not sure a cogent discussion is entirely possible, but I go there at times.
My sib lives with my mom, as you likely know from my posts.
I feel that my parents had a choice when they allowed my sib to move back in with them, post divorce and post relationship break ups.
They could have said no, get your own living situation.
But they didn’t.
My mother feels that they “had” to take him in because he had no place to go.
Result: he is seriously addicted and still lives with mother, which, at times, ain’t pretty.
We have also talked about his addiction.
I feel he has had multiple opportunities to reflect upon his actions—divorce, countless jobs lost, a dui, alcohol related seizures, forced detox by family and eviction from mother’s house for a few years—and recognize that all of these consequences are the result of too much alcohol.
But...nope.
My mother feels that he got the family “drinking gene” and all has been foreordained.
No real point to this post other to reiterate that before the physical dependence/addiction sets in, we all have the ability to make a good choice.
Whether we do or not, well, that’s the big question, isn’t it?
She has some dementia so I’m not sure a cogent discussion is entirely possible, but I go there at times.
My sib lives with my mom, as you likely know from my posts.
I feel that my parents had a choice when they allowed my sib to move back in with them, post divorce and post relationship break ups.
They could have said no, get your own living situation.
But they didn’t.
My mother feels that they “had” to take him in because he had no place to go.
Result: he is seriously addicted and still lives with mother, which, at times, ain’t pretty.
We have also talked about his addiction.
I feel he has had multiple opportunities to reflect upon his actions—divorce, countless jobs lost, a dui, alcohol related seizures, forced detox by family and eviction from mother’s house for a few years—and recognize that all of these consequences are the result of too much alcohol.
But...nope.
My mother feels that he got the family “drinking gene” and all has been foreordained.
No real point to this post other to reiterate that before the physical dependence/addiction sets in, we all have the ability to make a good choice.
Whether we do or not, well, that’s the big question, isn’t it?
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
All of the above being said, I will say that as enmeshed and bananas as their relationship is, my mother is reassured that he lives there and she is not alone.
He is, at times, helpful, though other times, not so much.
It’s a devil’s bargain, for sure.
He is, at times, helpful, though other times, not so much.
It’s a devil’s bargain, for sure.
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 19
I think making the choice to be sober is part of the learning curve.
and I do believe the more you practice it the easier it gets, but learning what you can choose to do instead of drink is hard and so individual.
The other day when i chose to drink, i chose it cus i was trying to control a mental meltdown. what i need instead is to learn how to deal with that without drinking. that is my main focus now and then my choice next time will be a healthier sober one. hopefully!
and I do believe the more you practice it the easier it gets, but learning what you can choose to do instead of drink is hard and so individual.
The other day when i chose to drink, i chose it cus i was trying to control a mental meltdown. what i need instead is to learn how to deal with that without drinking. that is my main focus now and then my choice next time will be a healthier sober one. hopefully!
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
the way to a life beyond addiction, begins with CHOICE.
I believe that absent a choice. A real choice. A daily choice. A heartfelt choice. A conscious DECISION on our part that SOBRIETY is what we want...... there can be no recovery.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by l0nely
I think making the choice to be sober is part of the learning curve.
and I do believe the more you practice it the easier it gets, but learning what you can choose to do instead of drink is hard and so individual.
The other day when i chose to drink, i chose it cus i was trying to control a mental meltdown. what i need instead is to learn how to deal with that without drinking. that is my main focus now and then my choice next time will be a healthier sober one. hopefully!
and I do believe the more you practice it the easier it gets, but learning what you can choose to do instead of drink is hard and so individual.
The other day when i chose to drink, i chose it cus i was trying to control a mental meltdown. what i need instead is to learn how to deal with that without drinking. that is my main focus now and then my choice next time will be a healthier sober one. hopefully!
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
For me addiction wasn't a choice I would say. I started drinking in my very early teens and that was because my life was nothing a 13 year old could deal with without help, I had no help available so alcohol was the only tool I had access to.
But the moment I noticed what a problem it is, I started looking for other options and while it seemed impossible for me to survive sober, I chose to believe all those people telling me that it is very possible and that they felt like it wasn't when they where at my point too. And since then it was always a choice between using my old tool alcohol, which had proven to not work or to use the new tools.
But the moment I noticed what a problem it is, I started looking for other options and while it seemed impossible for me to survive sober, I chose to believe all those people telling me that it is very possible and that they felt like it wasn't when they where at my point too. And since then it was always a choice between using my old tool alcohol, which had proven to not work or to use the new tools.
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That might have been better a PM DD
We're a peer support site.
No one needs a degree to post here, just experience.
I don't have a degree in psychology, crisis counselling, or social work, but I do ok
If you or anyone else doesn't like a particular thread, or even a particular poster, don't post in it/use the ignore function.
Dee
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SR
We're a peer support site.
No one needs a degree to post here, just experience.
I don't have a degree in psychology, crisis counselling, or social work, but I do ok
If you or anyone else doesn't like a particular thread, or even a particular poster, don't post in it/use the ignore function.
Dee
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SR
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Well, as to the question - I made it very clear in my post it was my experience, may not be yours.
I’m working on my PhD in A Sober Life and just doing what I can to help others do the same.
Peace-N-Sobriety to you all
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Location: UK
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I think this is an interesting question.
Certainly I concur that sobriety is definitely a choice. You can definitely grasp that option at any time with degrees of difficulty depending on who you are, where you’re at and what support mechanisms you have available. But regardless of the difficulty ‘scale’ it is still there as a choice for everyone.
However to extrapolate this argument to its fullest then why wouldn’t addiction be - at least part way - a choice too?
Example - if I drink today I have the choice to not drink tomorrow don’t I (given the above rationale)? Then I have the choice to stay sober for another three weeks. Then I slip back and drink again for one day but then have the choice to be sober the next day again.... play that tape forwards ten times and my drinking is ‘normal’ isn’t it?
I’m trying to look at the option to choose sobriety as being totally exclusive to the argument around choice around addiction. I’m not trying to highjack the conversation here but a cancer sufferer doesn’t have the choice to get better anymore than they have the choice to get the ailment in the first place (pick whatever disease you like to illustrate my point)?
Like I say - I’m having difficulty in making the choice issue a mutually exclusive argument. It doesn’t hang well together for me. If I can choose sobriety I can choose to control my actions on a day by day basis.
Not trying to flame. Kind of typing my thoughts as they come in.
Best Regards,
JT
Certainly I concur that sobriety is definitely a choice. You can definitely grasp that option at any time with degrees of difficulty depending on who you are, where you’re at and what support mechanisms you have available. But regardless of the difficulty ‘scale’ it is still there as a choice for everyone.
However to extrapolate this argument to its fullest then why wouldn’t addiction be - at least part way - a choice too?
Example - if I drink today I have the choice to not drink tomorrow don’t I (given the above rationale)? Then I have the choice to stay sober for another three weeks. Then I slip back and drink again for one day but then have the choice to be sober the next day again.... play that tape forwards ten times and my drinking is ‘normal’ isn’t it?
I’m trying to look at the option to choose sobriety as being totally exclusive to the argument around choice around addiction. I’m not trying to highjack the conversation here but a cancer sufferer doesn’t have the choice to get better anymore than they have the choice to get the ailment in the first place (pick whatever disease you like to illustrate my point)?
Like I say - I’m having difficulty in making the choice issue a mutually exclusive argument. It doesn’t hang well together for me. If I can choose sobriety I can choose to control my actions on a day by day basis.
Not trying to flame. Kind of typing my thoughts as they come in.
Best Regards,
JT
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
We may be born addicts (genetically) but we choose whether or not to feed the addiction. I have Ulcerative Colitis, I had no control over it's onset, for all I know it was a faulty gene, but I choose whether of not to treat it/listen to my doctors and keep in remission the best that I can. I didn't choose the condition but I can choose how I handle it.
~Bunnez
~Bunnez
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Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Missing from this discussion so far is the important point that it's hard to make any sane choices when the functionality of very mechanism for making a sane choice -- the brain -- has been compromised by addiction.
Seems to me these metaphysical arguments always assume the existence of a different "self," unrelated to brain function, to which one can turn in order to make a rational "choice" about quitting drinking.
In fact, there may be one -- but the farther an addiction progress, the more of a quantum leap is required in order to access it. That's why programs like AA suggest a "higher power" -- because the brain that got you to this point in addiction can't be the same brain that gets you out.
I would say that for me at least, rather than the simplistic concept of "making a choice" not to drink, the first ingredient to recovery was WANT -- the tipping of the balance toward truly WANTING to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. Accessing a new part of my brain in order to begin the process of making saner choices became possible -- hellishly difficult, but possible -- only with the motivation that the WANT provided.
Seems to me these metaphysical arguments always assume the existence of a different "self," unrelated to brain function, to which one can turn in order to make a rational "choice" about quitting drinking.
In fact, there may be one -- but the farther an addiction progress, the more of a quantum leap is required in order to access it. That's why programs like AA suggest a "higher power" -- because the brain that got you to this point in addiction can't be the same brain that gets you out.
I would say that for me at least, rather than the simplistic concept of "making a choice" not to drink, the first ingredient to recovery was WANT -- the tipping of the balance toward truly WANTING to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. Accessing a new part of my brain in order to begin the process of making saner choices became possible -- hellishly difficult, but possible -- only with the motivation that the WANT provided.
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