How is your life years after your dui?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,917
I couldn't be happier. I got my first and only DUI in 2006. I finally stopped drinking alcohol in 2008. I celebrated 10 years of sobriety this past June. It isn't easy at first, but if you are determined, you can do it and it will get easier the longer you go.
Have you stopped drinking? Is it your plan to live a sober life? If so, you will find a lot of support here. Welcome!
Have you stopped drinking? Is it your plan to live a sober life? If so, you will find a lot of support here. Welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by suki44883 
I couldn't be happier. I got my first and only DUI in 2006. I finally stopped drinking alcohol in 2008. I celebrated 10 years of sobriety this past June. It isn't easy at first, but if you are determined, you can do it and it will get easier the longer you go.
Have you stopped drinking? Is it your plan to live a sober life? If so, you will find a lot of support here. Welcome!
Have you stopped drinking? Is it your plan to live a sober life? If so, you will find a lot of support here. Welcome!
Thanks for the reply. I haven't drank since I got pulled over. I am going to stop drinking for good. Thank you for the support. My main concern is that I don't want this mistake to ruin my entire life. Would you say your life is back to normal? Are you still affected by your dui in any way today?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,917
Originally Posted by Jad123
Thanks for the reply. I haven't drank since I got pulled over. I am going to stop drinking for good. Thank you for the support. My main concern is that I don't want this mistake to ruin my entire life. Would you say your life is back to normal? Are you still affected by your dui in any way today?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 151
3.5 years later, I’ve for the most part put it behind me. Mine was BAD. But I had a good attorney, and somehow he was able to get it reduced to reckless driving instead. I don’t know how, I never asked, I buried my head so far in the sand and let him do his thing in court and never asked him for updates or anything. I never even, and probably never will, read the police report. I also live 2 hours away from where it happened so i never even had to go to court, he always went in my place, never saw the inside of a courtroom once for this. I don’t know how on earth i got so lucky considering what i did. BUT just because i was saved from the worst of the legal ramifications, that doesn’t mean it didn’t mentally affect me day in and day out. I still have anxiety attacks even thinking about that night, or if I see a cop on the road. The first time I got pulled over about 2 years later, for speeding, stone cold sober at 7am on my way to work, I had a panic attack and missed all turns to get to my office cause I was such a mess. I still remember my hand shaking so badly I hoped I wouldn’t drop my phone on the road when i pulled up my insurance card on my phone app to show the guy.
The sad part is, the dui had nothing to do with me quitting drinking. I stopped for maybe...a week? I did stop drinking and driving, Uber became my best friend, so there’s that. But it happened on NYE, such a cliche party night, that I just chalked it up to just a bad end to a night out, and not the underlying problem that i really had. But in a way I’m glad it happened, because I had such an arrogant “it’ll never happen to me” mindset. And I do believe that if I hadn’t gotten scared into some sense, I would’ve eventually killed someone and/or myself. Hate that it took such an extreme for me to learn such an obvious lesson, but I forgive myself day by day and just never repeat it.
The sad part is, the dui had nothing to do with me quitting drinking. I stopped for maybe...a week? I did stop drinking and driving, Uber became my best friend, so there’s that. But it happened on NYE, such a cliche party night, that I just chalked it up to just a bad end to a night out, and not the underlying problem that i really had. But in a way I’m glad it happened, because I had such an arrogant “it’ll never happen to me” mindset. And I do believe that if I hadn’t gotten scared into some sense, I would’ve eventually killed someone and/or myself. Hate that it took such an extreme for me to learn such an obvious lesson, but I forgive myself day by day and just never repeat it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
mine was in 2003, I didn't even think about stopping drinking at the time but I was barely over @ .09
It was expensive, it happened in another state and I didn't lose my license in my state.
Spending a couple days in jail in 23 hour lock down with a withdrawing crackhead was pretty eye opening though and kind of freaky.
It was expensive, it happened in another state and I didn't lose my license in my state.
Spending a couple days in jail in 23 hour lock down with a withdrawing crackhead was pretty eye opening though and kind of freaky.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,917
Yeah, I quit drinking for about a month or so, but then I started back in. However, I never again drove my car after having had even one beer. At least I learned that lesson the first time. I finally quit almost 2 years after the DUI.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
which dui?
1st one? nothin changed. kept d&d ,"but now did it safer." yeah,right.
2nd dui?
alcoholism progressed. still in denial. got worse for another year or so.
then got sober. that was 13 years ago.
my lifes pretty dam good today,but not because of DUIs. its because i changed.
good life doesnt mean life on lifes terms is a bed of roses,sunshine and daisies. still get life happening.
1st one? nothin changed. kept d&d ,"but now did it safer." yeah,right.
2nd dui?
alcoholism progressed. still in denial. got worse for another year or so.
then got sober. that was 13 years ago.
my lifes pretty dam good today,but not because of DUIs. its because i changed.
good life doesnt mean life on lifes terms is a bed of roses,sunshine and daisies. still get life happening.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I am in the UK so it might be very different here? I got a dui 5 years ago, got banned from driving for 18 months and a criminal record. It has affected and still affects me getting employment with certain companies, affects travel plans abroad in terms of cost as I have to apply for visa's when I normally would not have and the countries that will allow me in with a criminal record. I used to have a brand new showroom car, now I drive an old banger as I cannot afford the insurance on anything new or nice. It also affects my ability to volunteer for a lot of charities as they will not take me with this record.
Did it stop me drinking? Absolutely not, I started drinking more, and more often, and starting earlier in the day, every day. I live in the country, public transport is poor so I couldn't get out anywhere or do anything, so I drank as I didn't see a reason to be sober at any point of the day anymore. I lost all my morals and started doing things I never ever believed I would, I got my licence back and after a year was driving to the shop late a night drunk to get more wine, I worked from home some days and would join conference calls after drinking wine from 9am. There was always a new low I could reach. At the time I got the DUI I didn't even think I was an alcoholic, the word wasn't in my vocabulary, I just thought I had just the once made a silly mistake and a bad choice. I was in total denial.
5 years later, many jobs/friends and respect lost, 60lbs in weight gained, isolation, depression, lack of self care and a 2 month stint in rehab costing me my life savings which I got out of last week and things are starting to get better.
Did it stop me drinking? Absolutely not, I started drinking more, and more often, and starting earlier in the day, every day. I live in the country, public transport is poor so I couldn't get out anywhere or do anything, so I drank as I didn't see a reason to be sober at any point of the day anymore. I lost all my morals and started doing things I never ever believed I would, I got my licence back and after a year was driving to the shop late a night drunk to get more wine, I worked from home some days and would join conference calls after drinking wine from 9am. There was always a new low I could reach. At the time I got the DUI I didn't even think I was an alcoholic, the word wasn't in my vocabulary, I just thought I had just the once made a silly mistake and a bad choice. I was in total denial.
5 years later, many jobs/friends and respect lost, 60lbs in weight gained, isolation, depression, lack of self care and a 2 month stint in rehab costing me my life savings which I got out of last week and things are starting to get better.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
It doesn't affect me. Then, it didn't either as far as my drinking since I kept on going...it was expensive and mostly "annoying" bc I was of course a victim....
I have put drunk driving in the Thank God I didn't Kill anyone category.
I have put drunk driving in the Thank God I didn't Kill anyone category.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Originally Posted by August252015
It doesn't affect me. Then, it didn't either as far as my drinking since I kept on going...it was expensive and mostly "annoying" bc I was of course a victim....
I am so grateful that I have seen the light and are lucky enough to get another chance at becoming the person I know I can be, no more excuses, no more finger pointing and blaming, nothing good ever did or ever will come out of that thinking
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I got a DUI in 2005 and another in 2011.
There’s a lingering issue with not being allowed to visit Canada.... but apart from that my life is fantastic.
This is purely due to the fact that I’m nearly 5 years sober.
I’m not sure how I avoided a third DUI and Going to prison or killing someone in those years I continued on drinking and descending the dark hole of addiction but I sure am grateful I survived and managed to choose sobriety.
I’m happily remarried, meaningfully engaged in my community, a present and proud father of four, financially secure, own two homes, have a thriving career, am respected at work, in my family and in my community, am in good health and enjoy my life.......
The DUIs were difficult times, but I’m grateful for them, because they were a part of the ever-growing evidence of disaster that my life was becoming and were a part of my final decision to live a sober, happy, full, rewarding, much-improved life.
There’s a lingering issue with not being allowed to visit Canada.... but apart from that my life is fantastic.
This is purely due to the fact that I’m nearly 5 years sober.
I’m not sure how I avoided a third DUI and Going to prison or killing someone in those years I continued on drinking and descending the dark hole of addiction but I sure am grateful I survived and managed to choose sobriety.
I’m happily remarried, meaningfully engaged in my community, a present and proud father of four, financially secure, own two homes, have a thriving career, am respected at work, in my family and in my community, am in good health and enjoy my life.......
The DUIs were difficult times, but I’m grateful for them, because they were a part of the ever-growing evidence of disaster that my life was becoming and were a part of my final decision to live a sober, happy, full, rewarding, much-improved life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
I'm not years removed. In fact, my conviction is this coming Tuesday for a 3rd.
I'm not 100% certain yet on what condition it will leave me in. But it looks like I'll be able to keep my job, which is a big deal in terms of where I end up materially.
I'll likely spend 7 months or so in work release. It'll end up costing me north of $10k directly - attorney, court costs, IID, therapy, driver safety plan, etc.. I was consulting 20% of my time before the incident and had to shut that down. I don't calculate what I've lost indirectly in terms of opporunity, but it's a big number.
I believe the incident itself will prove - really already has - to be a complete game changer/ life changer for me. But I also believe it will end up being a net positive. In many ways - especially the fact I am sober now - it already is a net positive. I'm still - even at 40+ - young enough that I have a lot of sober, productive living to do. And most importantly I didn't hurt anyone so nothing is permanent.
I work in an industry that isn't super harsh for having this on my record. And in the state I'm in a 3rd is still a misdemeanor so I don't really have to worry too much about that. Plus, I'm networked well enough that future jobs/ clients will likely come from referrals and relationships and not require screening-type stuff like background checks.
Alllll that said. It won't ruin my life. Even if the absolute worst happens and I end up losing my career and everything I own (if I get locked up w/o work release which my attorney says will not happen.) But even so, it won't ruin my life. I'm sober now. Sure, it may be a tough road back at times but there's a lot I can do. Especially since I've largely already reduced how much I let material things define my life. That's where the real work in sobriety is for me now. What do I value? How do I live a life that aligns with what I value?
I'm lucky that I didn't hurt anyone or myself so that I can pursue those questions. Doing so will lead me to a good, solid life. I'm sure of it.
Sounds cliche, but what you do from this point is a state of mind. Assuming no one was injured in your case and it's not a felony it will be mostly temporary inconvenience. I'll ask you like a very good friend asked me the other day - yes, you're lucky. Now, what are you going to do with all that luck?
That's up to us. As is our future. It can be what we want it to be if we do the work, starting with staying sober.
Best to you.
B
I'm not 100% certain yet on what condition it will leave me in. But it looks like I'll be able to keep my job, which is a big deal in terms of where I end up materially.
I'll likely spend 7 months or so in work release. It'll end up costing me north of $10k directly - attorney, court costs, IID, therapy, driver safety plan, etc.. I was consulting 20% of my time before the incident and had to shut that down. I don't calculate what I've lost indirectly in terms of opporunity, but it's a big number.
I believe the incident itself will prove - really already has - to be a complete game changer/ life changer for me. But I also believe it will end up being a net positive. In many ways - especially the fact I am sober now - it already is a net positive. I'm still - even at 40+ - young enough that I have a lot of sober, productive living to do. And most importantly I didn't hurt anyone so nothing is permanent.
I work in an industry that isn't super harsh for having this on my record. And in the state I'm in a 3rd is still a misdemeanor so I don't really have to worry too much about that. Plus, I'm networked well enough that future jobs/ clients will likely come from referrals and relationships and not require screening-type stuff like background checks.
Alllll that said. It won't ruin my life. Even if the absolute worst happens and I end up losing my career and everything I own (if I get locked up w/o work release which my attorney says will not happen.) But even so, it won't ruin my life. I'm sober now. Sure, it may be a tough road back at times but there's a lot I can do. Especially since I've largely already reduced how much I let material things define my life. That's where the real work in sobriety is for me now. What do I value? How do I live a life that aligns with what I value?
I'm lucky that I didn't hurt anyone or myself so that I can pursue those questions. Doing so will lead me to a good, solid life. I'm sure of it.
Sounds cliche, but what you do from this point is a state of mind. Assuming no one was injured in your case and it's not a felony it will be mostly temporary inconvenience. I'll ask you like a very good friend asked me the other day - yes, you're lucky. Now, what are you going to do with all that luck?
That's up to us. As is our future. It can be what we want it to be if we do the work, starting with staying sober.
Best to you.
B
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
My life has turned out great. The thing I value more than anything material however is peace of mind. That’s what I’m most grateful for in my recovery.
As long as you stay sober and commit to recovery and work a program which promotes spiritual growth (define that how you will) there is no reason your life and perception of that life can’t be great.
Recovery is a case of playing the long game; the rewards are phenomenal.
As long as you stay sober and commit to recovery and work a program which promotes spiritual growth (define that how you will) there is no reason your life and perception of that life can’t be great.
Recovery is a case of playing the long game; the rewards are phenomenal.
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