Struggling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Niagara Region, ON, Canada
Posts: 89
Struggling
Hi friends,
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Madnellie, I'm so glad you posted about feeling down. You are not alone.
Two years of recovery is amazing. I'm sorry you're having such a tough week. Is there anything that you can do to make things less stressful? Can you take some time to have a bubble bath, listen to some music and relax. (((Madnellie)))
Two years of recovery is amazing. I'm sorry you're having such a tough week. Is there anything that you can do to make things less stressful? Can you take some time to have a bubble bath, listen to some music and relax. (((Madnellie)))
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry you are feeling alone. Two years is awesome, but sometimes milestones can be a trigger. You say there were no reasons to prompt the cravings? They'll probably pass as quickly as they came. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Madnellie 
Hi friends,
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks
I'm sorry you're feeling down. 
Stay strong, remember there's nothing a drink can't make worse. 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Madnellie, what better than to ask for some attention when you feel you need some?
strikes me as eminently taking care of yourself.
you don't have any plans to relapse, you say, and that is great. how about switching the sequence of those words around to: i plan not to relapse, and then deciding on how to proceed with that?
strikes me as eminently taking care of yourself.
you don't have any plans to relapse, you say, and that is great. how about switching the sequence of those words around to: i plan not to relapse, and then deciding on how to proceed with that?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Niagara Region, ON, Canada
Posts: 89
Thank you all so so much. I will reply properly when I'm a bit less emotional (lol) but it really does warm my heart seeing all these replies. Thank you for helping me be strong.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 317
Congratulations on two years of sobriety - I can't conceive of that yet, so hey, you're a role model. May I suggest ice cream? Or offering someone else a helping hand with a chore or errand? Being helpful to someone else really helps me come out of a depressed head space. Just think of how far you have come!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 18
Feel you...
Hello Mads,
Maybe this will help... or distract you from your current struggle. I will tell you my story.... yes, this is me dumping my feels all over you. Lol ( little bit narcissistic)
This is my first post anywhere to anyone regarding the addressing of my current issue. I’m embarrassed, scared, panicked, and ashamed... and *chunky* due to extensive carbohydrate intake, which really annoys me.
I had a gastric bypass a couple years back and felt fantastic for 3 years. Then when my youngest brother attempted suicide about 1 year ago I started to drink wine... a lot of wine. Never really needed alcohol before on the regular. I liked it sure, and had a high tolerance. When I did drink, I boasted about that fact because I did think it was kinda weird that I could drink so much and function that well. I preferred not to for many years.. Curiously, I married an alcoholic, and hardcore loved another in my young life. My parents didn’t drink and are still together. After my brothers situation and him being diagnosed with delusional disorder I kinda freaked out a little. I’m autistic (which I just found out this year after going in for extensive evaluation due to said drinking increase)& adhd, anxiety) I felt so bad that he is scared, confused and hurting I started increasing slowly my intake (unbeknownst to me) I found that drinking helps me relax and not panic. So I don’t really worry. I do know now it’s not helpful and counterproductive because when I started craving I researched everything available and found it can actually exasperate anxiety and panic. Now when I stop, I have panic attacks which terrify me and I’ve hyperventilated twice in two months. A very unpleasant experience if you aren’t familiar. ;( Sigh... I’m in a weird place mentally, not depressed, not even sure I’m an alcoholic but, I have to be addicted. I live in a small town everyone talks, no confidentiality, all meetings and support 1 hour away or chock full of people you see everyday somewhere. It really makes sh*t harder. I’m worried if I reach out for help I’ll get labeled, viewed as weak and crazy. I’m in public service so job stress is super high, and I take care of my parents and my adult disabled child. Oh... and my hubby cheated 5 or so years ago after we found out my child needed a kidney transplant as a teen apparently he didn’t deal with his crap from his previous life..(*eye roll*) according to the shrink... I know the stress level in my world is too high for me and I’m sure that’s part of the problem. And yeah, I have plenty of reasons to try and check out to numb this crap away but I feel that I’m missing out. I’m afraid I’ll wake up old and be so pissed at 40 ish year-old me as I have done many many times before thinking and regretting not being stronger. I’m worried and annoyed that I apparently don’t love myself enough that I have to put other people first and care about them to exist. Is that a thing? Bet it is...Curses!! 🙂 sooooo... that’s my story.
*All advice is respected and appreciated but be kind as I am sensitive lol
QUOTE=Madnellie;6966000]Hi friends,
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks[/QUOTE]
Maybe this will help... or distract you from your current struggle. I will tell you my story.... yes, this is me dumping my feels all over you. Lol ( little bit narcissistic)
This is my first post anywhere to anyone regarding the addressing of my current issue. I’m embarrassed, scared, panicked, and ashamed... and *chunky* due to extensive carbohydrate intake, which really annoys me. I had a gastric bypass a couple years back and felt fantastic for 3 years. Then when my youngest brother attempted suicide about 1 year ago I started to drink wine... a lot of wine. Never really needed alcohol before on the regular. I liked it sure, and had a high tolerance. When I did drink, I boasted about that fact because I did think it was kinda weird that I could drink so much and function that well. I preferred not to for many years.. Curiously, I married an alcoholic, and hardcore loved another in my young life. My parents didn’t drink and are still together. After my brothers situation and him being diagnosed with delusional disorder I kinda freaked out a little. I’m autistic (which I just found out this year after going in for extensive evaluation due to said drinking increase)& adhd, anxiety) I felt so bad that he is scared, confused and hurting I started increasing slowly my intake (unbeknownst to me) I found that drinking helps me relax and not panic. So I don’t really worry. I do know now it’s not helpful and counterproductive because when I started craving I researched everything available and found it can actually exasperate anxiety and panic. Now when I stop, I have panic attacks which terrify me and I’ve hyperventilated twice in two months. A very unpleasant experience if you aren’t familiar. ;( Sigh... I’m in a weird place mentally, not depressed, not even sure I’m an alcoholic but, I have to be addicted. I live in a small town everyone talks, no confidentiality, all meetings and support 1 hour away or chock full of people you see everyday somewhere. It really makes sh*t harder. I’m worried if I reach out for help I’ll get labeled, viewed as weak and crazy. I’m in public service so job stress is super high, and I take care of my parents and my adult disabled child. Oh... and my hubby cheated 5 or so years ago after we found out my child needed a kidney transplant as a teen apparently he didn’t deal with his crap from his previous life..(*eye roll*) according to the shrink... I know the stress level in my world is too high for me and I’m sure that’s part of the problem. And yeah, I have plenty of reasons to try and check out to numb this crap away but I feel that I’m missing out. I’m afraid I’ll wake up old and be so pissed at 40 ish year-old me as I have done many many times before thinking and regretting not being stronger. I’m worried and annoyed that I apparently don’t love myself enough that I have to put other people first and care about them to exist. Is that a thing? Bet it is...Curses!! 🙂 sooooo... that’s my story.
*All advice is respected and appreciated but be kind as I am sensitive lol
QUOTE=Madnellie;6966000]Hi friends,
I'm not exactly a newcomer (just over two years sober) but I know this area gets the most traffic and I'm in need of some support please.
Having a really bad week struggling with cravings and a huge desire to drink. I don't have any plans to relapse, and until this week I was feeling pretty content. It's all just flipped on its head for seemingly no reason. I just feel so, so alone right now.
Anyway. I just wanted to post here and at least make myself accountable if nothing else.
Sorry if this comes over as a bit attention seeking (I guess it kind of is), I just don't want to feel alone. Thanks folks
[/QUOTE]
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here and reaching out. You mention a mtg- I know that for. Me, getting even closer to my program (AA) is always a good thing to do when things challenge me, life is hard, whatever! Take care of yourself and keep sharing and reaching out on here and IRL!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Really glad things are better today Nellie
Welcome aboard reluctantred
Thats a lot to be dealing with but you'll find a great source of help and support here
feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D
Welcome aboard reluctantred
Thats a lot to be dealing with but you'll find a great source of help and support here
feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
There is nothing wrong with seeking some attention when you need it!
Two years is fantastic! I can't wait to be there. When I do get there I know it'll still be a challenge, it's still a challenge for me sometimes at 17 months.
Hang in there! No matter what I'm sure a clear head will make it easier to see through things in the end.
Two years is fantastic! I can't wait to be there. When I do get there I know it'll still be a challenge, it's still a challenge for me sometimes at 17 months.
Hang in there! No matter what I'm sure a clear head will make it easier to see through things in the end.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 18
Over share I’m thinking
Thanks D.
I’m now very anxious as I think I shared too many details and am worried about anonymity. Can we edit posts?
QUOTE=Dee74;6966890]Really glad things are better today Nellie
Welcome aboard reluctantred
Thats a lot to be dealing with but you'll find a great source of help and support here
feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D[/QUOTE]
I’m now very anxious as I think I shared too many details and am worried about anonymity. Can we edit posts?
QUOTE=Dee74;6966890]Really glad things are better today Nellie
Welcome aboard reluctantred
Thats a lot to be dealing with but you'll find a great source of help and support here
feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D[/QUOTE]
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by ReluctantRed
Thanks D.
I’m now very anxious as I think I shared too many details and am worried about anonymity. Can we edit posts?
I’m now very anxious as I think I shared too many details and am worried about anonymity. Can we edit posts?
People who are new here have 'posters remorse' sometimes, but it really is a safe place to be honest in.
It might seem like an overshare to you but there's nothing in your post I can see that couldn't apply to thousands of other people
We very rarely remove posts - it's not really fair to those who took the time to reply to those posts..
I noticed you started your own thread as well - does this mean you're ok with what you've posted now?
D
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