Just genuinely surprised
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
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Just genuinely surprised
No I don't think this means anything and I'm not worrying over it...just sharing.
A few days ago AH asked me about my meetings, when and where. I told him.
Today he was waiting for me in the parking lot. He went to the AA meeting with me. Even said he was an alcoholic during the introductions. He REFUSES to admit he is an alcoholic. He always says he "abuses" alcohol as if that's not the same thing. I was kinda shocked. Maybe he said it because everyone else did. (Except me, I just say I'm a visitor)
He picked up one of the pamphlets with meetings on it. Maybe he'll go. Everyone deserves peace.
A few days ago AH asked me about my meetings, when and where. I told him.
Today he was waiting for me in the parking lot. He went to the AA meeting with me. Even said he was an alcoholic during the introductions. He REFUSES to admit he is an alcoholic. He always says he "abuses" alcohol as if that's not the same thing. I was kinda shocked. Maybe he said it because everyone else did. (Except me, I just say I'm a visitor)
He picked up one of the pamphlets with meetings on it. Maybe he'll go. Everyone deserves peace.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
My sponsor highly recommended keeping things light and bright as a practice of kindness and new behaviors. To get away from labeling things and helps me to untangle from other people's lives.
I have to admit, it helped immensely. It felt very strange at first, like I wasn't tackling "the big issues". Then I started seeing that's exactly how we tackled the big issues in new ways: one day at a time, let go and let God, easy does it.
Even though my husband didn't continue with this, it's a skill that helps greatly with my healing.
Kudos on being at the meeting. Great way to handle things with dignity and grace.
I have to admit, it helped immensely. It felt very strange at first, like I wasn't tackling "the big issues". Then I started seeing that's exactly how we tackled the big issues in new ways: one day at a time, let go and let God, easy does it.
Even though my husband didn't continue with this, it's a skill that helps greatly with my healing.
Kudos on being at the meeting. Great way to handle things with dignity and grace.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
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That's a good idea. I was just really surprised because his attitude toward AA was always as if it was the 7 level of hell or something.
He told it didn't seem as bad as he thought and he thought it was 3 hours long. WITW? Who goes to meetings for 3 hours? I think he thought it was like the drug classes a couple of his employees have to go to that are court ordered.
If he wants to talk about it, I let him, but I don't offer any advice unless he out right asks. I'm trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of taking care of him and not myself.
He told it didn't seem as bad as he thought and he thought it was 3 hours long. WITW? Who goes to meetings for 3 hours? I think he thought it was like the drug classes a couple of his employees have to go to that are court ordered.
If he wants to talk about it, I let him, but I don't offer any advice unless he out right asks. I'm trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of taking care of him and not myself.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
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I'm trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of taking care of him and not myself.
Have you been going to Al-anon also? Meetings plus getting a sponsor who has what you want can be amazing.
A friend once told me, "All the joy and happiness you'll ever want are right outside your comfort zone." I'm finding that to be very true.
Have you been going to Al-anon also? Meetings plus getting a sponsor who has what you want can be amazing.
A friend once told me, "All the joy and happiness you'll ever want are right outside your comfort zone." I'm finding that to be very true.
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Originally Posted by Mango212 
I'm trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of taking care of him and not myself.
Have you been going to Al-anon also? Meetings plus getting a sponsor who has what you want can be amazing.
A friend once told me, "All the joy and happiness you'll ever want are right outside your comfort zone." I'm finding that to be very true.
Have you been going to Al-anon also? Meetings plus getting a sponsor who has what you want can be amazing.
A friend once told me, "All the joy and happiness you'll ever want are right outside your comfort zone." I'm finding that to be very true.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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alwayscovering…..good idea of not saying anything, one way or another...…
Let it be "his"...….
Also, I think the structure of your meetings and study will help you, enormously to stay on your side of the street....
Your "baby steps" are more like "baby dance"...lol....
Let it be "his"...….
Also, I think the structure of your meetings and study will help you, enormously to stay on your side of the street....
Your "baby steps" are more like "baby dance"...lol....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
My pastor once told me the only thing I could do is lead by example. Maybe that is what is happening for you. While it does not make anything perfect, at least it shows his mind may be opening a tiny bit.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
AC,
I agree with not recommending advice. You have no idea what it is like to be an addict and he has no idea what it is like to be co-dependent. He needs to talk to people who understand his addiction. Always remember it is best to stay on your side of the street. Have him seek out advice from people who know what he is going through.
You are doing awesome, keep hitting meetings.
I agree with not recommending advice. You have no idea what it is like to be an addict and he has no idea what it is like to be co-dependent. He needs to talk to people who understand his addiction. Always remember it is best to stay on your side of the street. Have him seek out advice from people who know what he is going through.
You are doing awesome, keep hitting meetings.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Originally Posted by Mango212
How are you doing today? (((hugs)))
I'm tired. I had to take AH to the airport at 3am. He's going to be gone most of the week.
We had a good weekend. I went to a different al anon group on saturday morning. It didn't seem much different than the one I already go to.
I did have a momentary panic on Saturday. I went to get my hair done and when I pulled out of the driveway I was seized with panic 'what if he goes to get a bottle of liquor while I'm gone' Then I brushed it off and said "eff it, it's not my problem." I had a great time with my stylist. She's a gem. She trimmed my hair, fussed because it's been too long since I got it cut and discussed some color ideas. (have to wait until after the summer, no need to spend 120.00 getting it colored to have it washed out in the pool)
How are you?
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