Lost my way
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1
Lost my way
Hi
I've let myself drift away from AA and my program. I am sponsorless and adrift but I'm finding it really hard to get back to it.
I used to go to a meeting nearly every night and then I changed my job and that was the perfect excuse to practically stop going to meeting. I was too tired. I was finishing late. I didn't want to go to a meeting late and disturb it.
This was I'm till recently. Last two weeks I've really been on the edge. I feel I'm in real danger of throwing it all away. I had started to build a good life.
I've not had a drink but if I'm honest I feel it's just a matter of time
I'm really struggling though to get back into my meeting routine. My mind keeps making excuses.
The biggest on of all is that my old sponsor has stopped going to meeting and so I have it in my head if she can than I can but who is to say she isn't having the same problems as me.
I need to find a way to focus on my own recovery. I'm in a dangerous place of isolation at the moment. Not texting people not going to meetings. Not been honest. Overcommiting at work.
I feel completely lost on my journey and some words of wisdom would be much appreciated x
I've let myself drift away from AA and my program. I am sponsorless and adrift but I'm finding it really hard to get back to it.
I used to go to a meeting nearly every night and then I changed my job and that was the perfect excuse to practically stop going to meeting. I was too tired. I was finishing late. I didn't want to go to a meeting late and disturb it.
This was I'm till recently. Last two weeks I've really been on the edge. I feel I'm in real danger of throwing it all away. I had started to build a good life.
I've not had a drink but if I'm honest I feel it's just a matter of time
I'm really struggling though to get back into my meeting routine. My mind keeps making excuses.
The biggest on of all is that my old sponsor has stopped going to meeting and so I have it in my head if she can than I can but who is to say she isn't having the same problems as me.
I need to find a way to focus on my own recovery. I'm in a dangerous place of isolation at the moment. Not texting people not going to meetings. Not been honest. Overcommiting at work.
I feel completely lost on my journey and some words of wisdom would be much appreciated x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Hey G33, glad to see your post this morning; it's a good thing, coming here before making a really bad decision. I hope you've spent the past couple of hours reading some stories in the Newcomer's section. There's nothing like hearing tales of regret and depression and hopelessness following a relapse to keep my head on straight...
Many of us, drinking or sober, still deal with a tendency toward isolation; I think it comes with the territory, it certainly does with me. This site is an easy way to feel a little more connected, even if it's only electronically. Obviously, real life interaction is also highly recommended, such as getting back to regular meetings; but this is an easy way to get started in that direction, and I hope you'll hang out and post some more.
I think your reaching out here and discussing your concerns is a good indication for your continued sobriety. You're right to be worried! Bad thinking always comes before bad drinking. So don't be a stranger, eh? There are good people here...very glad to "meet" you!
Many of us, drinking or sober, still deal with a tendency toward isolation; I think it comes with the territory, it certainly does with me. This site is an easy way to feel a little more connected, even if it's only electronically. Obviously, real life interaction is also highly recommended, such as getting back to regular meetings; but this is an easy way to get started in that direction, and I hope you'll hang out and post some more.
I think your reaching out here and discussing your concerns is a good indication for your continued sobriety. You're right to be worried! Bad thinking always comes before bad drinking. So don't be a stranger, eh? There are good people here...very glad to "meet" you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Very glad to meet you Giraffe and welcome to SR. You'll find lots of support here. You've had past success with AA, you're right in thinking that you should go back. It's likely you'll get back in the groove when you've gone to a couple of meetings - plus you'll feel better and stronger. I've been feeling a little 'off' the last couple of days and have stepped up my SR time and listening to podcasts. It helps. Let us know how your meetings go. 
.
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12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Girrafe,
welcome to SR. I am not sure how long you have been sober, but I have heard the same kind of story from others with reasonable time up. It seems that if you don't catch on to what AA is really about, the business of attending lottsa meetings, being sponsored, and not drinking one day at a time can get very tiring.
I found myself in a similar spot, at least to the extent that I began questioning why people were not staying long term. I found the answer in the big book.
I got involved in a group that studied the program as set out in the book, and encouraged its members to put what they learn into practice. In practice that involves finishing the work in the first nine steps at a good clip, learning to live the 24 hour program in steps 10 and 11, and getting busy carrying the message and above all sponsoring or working one on one with other alcoholics.
If you do that, your life will change dramatically.
welcome to SR. I am not sure how long you have been sober, but I have heard the same kind of story from others with reasonable time up. It seems that if you don't catch on to what AA is really about, the business of attending lottsa meetings, being sponsored, and not drinking one day at a time can get very tiring.
I found myself in a similar spot, at least to the extent that I began questioning why people were not staying long term. I found the answer in the big book.
I got involved in a group that studied the program as set out in the book, and encouraged its members to put what they learn into practice. In practice that involves finishing the work in the first nine steps at a good clip, learning to live the 24 hour program in steps 10 and 11, and getting busy carrying the message and above all sponsoring or working one on one with other alcoholics.
If you do that, your life will change dramatically.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
how are you today Giraffe33 ?
ive been to >6000 meetings and sometimes get bored
on saturday night i traveled a couple cities over and found a really sweet young peoples meeting which was a joy to attend
formal service positions in aa where i am accountable are the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date
ive been to >6000 meetings and sometimes get bored
on saturday night i traveled a couple cities over and found a really sweet young peoples meeting which was a joy to attend
formal service positions in aa where i am accountable are the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
Just go back to a meeting. Read the Big Book and post on SR. Get working those 12 steps in your life each day. Stay sober at all costs obviously. Things will all pick up and this will be a part of your necessary spiritual growth.,
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