They Say the 30s are Better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 2
They Say the 30s are Better
Hello everyone.
I am 27 years old and I've been a functional alcoholic for about four years. I can't pinpoint where my interest in frequently consuming alcohol started but I remember the first beer I ever had at age 17. I don't have many stories of horror here. No DUIs, violence, blackouts, health problems, etc... I'm a six pack a day kind of guy and for the most part I avoid other alcoholic beverages. Something about beer is satisfying enough and liquor is too quick. My doctor knows of my history and after a few liver, cardiac, and BP screens along with several doses of daily B complex vitamins I've never really felt I was doing any damage. Socially speaking I'm pretty open about my drinking. Some say I drink too much and others don't seem to pay any mind. It's difficult to gauge the social aspects of drinking since so many people around me are also frequent users. Many are entertained at my socially lubricated persona and can't even tell if I've been drinking. I suppose that's a plus because I don't actually get "drunk" that often .
So the question is "why stop drinking?". This is the question I find myself asking every six months or so and the answer is becoming more apparent. The reason I want to stop drinking is because I am the one finding myself on this forum concerned about it. I can keep focusing on my existing health , fitness, and social sphere but those are all temporal. Many have started where I'm at and find themselves quickly down the rabbit hole. Why stop another 10 years from now? As I'm writing this I'm about three beers in which for a day off (vacations be damned!) isn't that bad. Usually I am working or exercising and don't crack them open till about 10PM. I'll be honest, I drink because I'm frequently bored. I have a job, graduated college, and keep myself busy. No kids, no wife. Find yet another hobby? We'll see.
I don't think I need detox as I can go 24 hours without drinking and never get the shakes or withdrawal symptoms. Physically my consumption isn't the main concern and my doctors have told me I probably don't need to detox. So this seems like a psychological battle.
Thanks for your time.
I am 27 years old and I've been a functional alcoholic for about four years. I can't pinpoint where my interest in frequently consuming alcohol started but I remember the first beer I ever had at age 17. I don't have many stories of horror here. No DUIs, violence, blackouts, health problems, etc... I'm a six pack a day kind of guy and for the most part I avoid other alcoholic beverages. Something about beer is satisfying enough and liquor is too quick. My doctor knows of my history and after a few liver, cardiac, and BP screens along with several doses of daily B complex vitamins I've never really felt I was doing any damage. Socially speaking I'm pretty open about my drinking. Some say I drink too much and others don't seem to pay any mind. It's difficult to gauge the social aspects of drinking since so many people around me are also frequent users. Many are entertained at my socially lubricated persona and can't even tell if I've been drinking. I suppose that's a plus because I don't actually get "drunk" that often .
So the question is "why stop drinking?". This is the question I find myself asking every six months or so and the answer is becoming more apparent. The reason I want to stop drinking is because I am the one finding myself on this forum concerned about it. I can keep focusing on my existing health , fitness, and social sphere but those are all temporal. Many have started where I'm at and find themselves quickly down the rabbit hole. Why stop another 10 years from now? As I'm writing this I'm about three beers in which for a day off (vacations be damned!) isn't that bad. Usually I am working or exercising and don't crack them open till about 10PM. I'll be honest, I drink because I'm frequently bored. I have a job, graduated college, and keep myself busy. No kids, no wife. Find yet another hobby? We'll see.
I don't think I need detox as I can go 24 hours without drinking and never get the shakes or withdrawal symptoms. Physically my consumption isn't the main concern and my doctors have told me I probably don't need to detox. So this seems like a psychological battle.
Thanks for your time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
It's good you are realizing it's an issue now, especially since you don't have the shakes and withdrawals, which let me know in no uncertain terms that I needed to stop. Better now then in 30 years when your health is failing and your organs can't recover as well as now.
I'm 29. 3.5 months sober and looking foward to a sober 30th birthday. I drank alot because of boredom too. It helped perpetuate the lack of activity. I never solved the boredom, I just became more okay with not being productive. It's an issue I struggle with with smoking cigarettes.
I don't want to be ok with boredom anymore. I want to do things and accomplish my goals and be my best self and I know i can't do that drinking.
Good luck on your sober journey
I'm 29. 3.5 months sober and looking foward to a sober 30th birthday. I drank alot because of boredom too. It helped perpetuate the lack of activity. I never solved the boredom, I just became more okay with not being productive. It's an issue I struggle with with smoking cigarettes.
I don't want to be ok with boredom anymore. I want to do things and accomplish my goals and be my best self and I know i can't do that drinking.
Good luck on your sober journey
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
Welcome to SR! A 6 pack per day is way too much for someone of your age. I was doing a 6 pack per week for a decade and found myself on the slippery slope for the last year or so (slipped to a peak of 15 drinks a week). I am 38 years by the way. Good thing i realized sooner than later.
Believe me, the 30s are no better. With added responsibilities such as higher role at work, family and other factors, it will only increase your drinking over time.
If you are concerned about your drinking, you should stop - that is the most advised take wrt alcohol. Moderation will not work in your case considering you are doing so much alcohol. Sorry buddy, hard truth imo.
Believe me, the 30s are no better. With added responsibilities such as higher role at work, family and other factors, it will only increase your drinking over time.
If you are concerned about your drinking, you should stop - that is the most advised take wrt alcohol. Moderation will not work in your case considering you are doing so much alcohol. Sorry buddy, hard truth imo.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by goodbyeevan 
It's good you are realizing it's an issue now, especially since you don't have the shakes and withdrawals, which let me know in no uncertain terms that I needed to stop. Better now then in 30 years when your health is failing and your organs can't recover as well as now.
I'm 29. 3.5 months sober and looking foward to a sober 30th birthday. I drank alot because of boredom too. It helped perpetuate the lack of activity. I never solved the boredom, I just became more okay with not being productive. It's an issue I struggle with with smoking cigarettes.
I don't want to be ok with boredom anymore. I want to do things and accomplish my goals and be my best self and I know i can't do that drinking.
Good luck on your sober journey
I'm 29. 3.5 months sober and looking foward to a sober 30th birthday. I drank alot because of boredom too. It helped perpetuate the lack of activity. I never solved the boredom, I just became more okay with not being productive. It's an issue I struggle with with smoking cigarettes.
I don't want to be ok with boredom anymore. I want to do things and accomplish my goals and be my best self and I know i can't do that drinking.
Good luck on your sober journey
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by FrankGallagher
Congratulations on your sobriety! I feel it will help me greatly to learn from people who have had different paths. Youth goggles are often very deceiving.
We are dumbing ourselves down, using alcohol to treat our stress and anxiety and boredom. We've got so much life left (hopefully) and I don't want alcohol to play such a controlling and damaging way in mine anymore.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
Hello, Frank Gallagher.
I've been sober 20 years, 10 months, with consistent sobriety. You're telling my son's story. Mine is different as my alcoholism progressed and really kicked in for me at 42. I became a daily drinker. My son started out just like you, except at age 22 or 23. He's 44 now and the progression and his consumption has cost him two marriages, almost total financial ruin, all kinds of health problems, the jitters, and he's starting to drink earlier in the day. As a recovered alcoholic, I've watched him deteriorate mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. There was a point at which he did admit he was alcoholic, attended AA for a year, then picked back up. Now he can't quit on his own and denies that his drinking has contributed to any of his problems. He too is a college graduate, etc. Thing about it is, alcohol doesn't care about any of that. It will eventually take away everything good in your life. Why play around with it?
I've been sober 20 years, 10 months, with consistent sobriety. You're telling my son's story. Mine is different as my alcoholism progressed and really kicked in for me at 42. I became a daily drinker. My son started out just like you, except at age 22 or 23. He's 44 now and the progression and his consumption has cost him two marriages, almost total financial ruin, all kinds of health problems, the jitters, and he's starting to drink earlier in the day. As a recovered alcoholic, I've watched him deteriorate mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. There was a point at which he did admit he was alcoholic, attended AA for a year, then picked back up. Now he can't quit on his own and denies that his drinking has contributed to any of his problems. He too is a college graduate, etc. Thing about it is, alcohol doesn't care about any of that. It will eventually take away everything good in your life. Why play around with it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
If you're a six pack a day guy in your late 20s, there's a good chance you'll progress to dysfunctional alcoholism in your 30s.
At 27, I was a few years out of university, in a good job, just started a new relationship, was renting a nice place in a cool part of town. I had only just begun drinking every night because the relationship was rocky from the get-go and a couple of glasses of wine made me feel better. Fast forward 5 years and I was on a bottle of wine a night. Fast forward a further 5 years and I was struggling to get into work in the mornings. Fast forward through the next 5 years and I was on almost 2 bottles of wine on weeknights, beginning to get sick, and heading for calamity. Another 5 years and I'd probably have ended up jobless and seriously sick ... but lucky it stopped there.
I lost so much in those 15 years. Lost lots of opportunities (professional and romantic), and squandered a sum of money well over six figures, that would have me in a completely different place now.
If there is ANYTHING at all in your life that you'd like to do better, I can guarantee you that will happen if you quit drinking now.
At 27, I was a few years out of university, in a good job, just started a new relationship, was renting a nice place in a cool part of town. I had only just begun drinking every night because the relationship was rocky from the get-go and a couple of glasses of wine made me feel better. Fast forward 5 years and I was on a bottle of wine a night. Fast forward a further 5 years and I was struggling to get into work in the mornings. Fast forward through the next 5 years and I was on almost 2 bottles of wine on weeknights, beginning to get sick, and heading for calamity. Another 5 years and I'd probably have ended up jobless and seriously sick ... but lucky it stopped there.
I lost so much in those 15 years. Lost lots of opportunities (professional and romantic), and squandered a sum of money well over six figures, that would have me in a completely different place now.
If there is ANYTHING at all in your life that you'd like to do better, I can guarantee you that will happen if you quit drinking now.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I barely drank in my 20s. Two drinks once a week when out for dinner, rarely 3. Would buy wine and it would go bad. A bottle of vodka would last a year and that was mostly for guests.
Started grad school at 30 and binge drank, it escalated from there.
Stop for 6 weeks and see how you feel. If that proves difficult you probably have a problem.
Started grad school at 30 and binge drank, it escalated from there.
Stop for 6 weeks and see how you feel. If that proves difficult you probably have a problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
So the question is "why stop drinking?"
i was at the stage of alcoholism known as "functioning alcoholic" in my mid 20's,too. there was a lot of good times and good memories then.
alcoholism progressed,though. by mid 30's my only functioning was for work, the giggles were gone, and there were no more good times. it was all gloom dispair,and agony- not just on me but also anyone arount me.
i was at the stage of alcoholism known as "functioning alcoholic" in my mid 20's,too. there was a lot of good times and good memories then.
alcoholism progressed,though. by mid 30's my only functioning was for work, the giggles were gone, and there were no more good times. it was all gloom dispair,and agony- not just on me but also anyone arount me.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you're here.
I hope you read around and learn about alcoholism - it doesn't discriminate, doesn't matter how old you are (or aren't), doesn't care whether you just drink beer or just liquor, what your friends say....nada.
My humble opinion- which you will likely see noted by other folks around here- if you've started asking yourself things like "do I drink too much" or "do I have a problem"....chances are you do, and recognizing it early, and while you haven't had the YETS, is wise. Taking action is even wiser. Normal drinkers don't think about the role of alcohol in their lives. I have friends who are successful at taking 30 days, 90 days, 6 mo...sober....and can then quit for good or not because they have NOT reached the point of not being able to stop once you start, which is one of the hallmarks of a real alcoholic, as the Big Book of AA says. There was no way I could have done that by the end of my drinking, nor would I have wanted to any sooner than I did.
The YETS means...what you haven't had yet (a DUI), what you haven't lost yet (a job), what you [ ] yet. Some people also break it down to: You're Entitled, Too.
I spent my 30s in the throes of alcoholism. Whether that was the "best timing" to quit or not, I didn't -until 39. Quitting and living a vibrant, healthy life in recovery is the absolute best thing this alcoholic, who's nearing 42 at 28 mo and change sober, ever did.
Best to you.
I hope you read around and learn about alcoholism - it doesn't discriminate, doesn't matter how old you are (or aren't), doesn't care whether you just drink beer or just liquor, what your friends say....nada.
My humble opinion- which you will likely see noted by other folks around here- if you've started asking yourself things like "do I drink too much" or "do I have a problem"....chances are you do, and recognizing it early, and while you haven't had the YETS, is wise. Taking action is even wiser. Normal drinkers don't think about the role of alcohol in their lives. I have friends who are successful at taking 30 days, 90 days, 6 mo...sober....and can then quit for good or not because they have NOT reached the point of not being able to stop once you start, which is one of the hallmarks of a real alcoholic, as the Big Book of AA says. There was no way I could have done that by the end of my drinking, nor would I have wanted to any sooner than I did.
The YETS means...what you haven't had yet (a DUI), what you haven't lost yet (a job), what you [ ] yet. Some people also break it down to: You're Entitled, Too.
I spent my 30s in the throes of alcoholism. Whether that was the "best timing" to quit or not, I didn't -until 39. Quitting and living a vibrant, healthy life in recovery is the absolute best thing this alcoholic, who's nearing 42 at 28 mo and change sober, ever did.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I'm early 40's and drank like you at your age. It,as it does, progressed and by my mid-late 30's I was 'in it'. Best to get a handle on it now while it's a bit easier. Welcome to SR. Lots of great people/advice here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I am 27 years old and I've been a functional alcoholic for about four years. I can't pinpoint where my interest in frequently consuming alcohol started but I remember the first beer I ever had at age 17. I don't have many stories of horror here. No DUIs, violence, blackouts, health problems, etc... I'm a six pack a day kind of guy and for the most part I avoid other alcoholic beverages. Something about beer is satisfying enough and liquor is too quick. My doctor knows of my history and after a few liver, cardiac, and BP screens along with several doses of daily B complex vitamins I've never really felt I was doing any damage. Socially speaking I'm pretty open about my drinking. Some say I drink too much and others don't seem to pay any mind. It's difficult to gauge the social aspects of drinking since so many people around me are also frequent users. Many are entertained at my socially lubricated persona and can't even tell if I've been drinking. I suppose that's a plus because I don't actually get "drunk" that often .
Also like you, in my twenties I became concerned about my drinking; but I keep dismissing it by comforting myself with the first part (the quoted part).
The second part of my story progressed to an uglier story, although it still; contained "No DUIs, violence, blackouts, health problems, etc".
The progression continued and the first time I went cold turkey, because by now I knew it was a problem, resulted in a seizure from acute alcohol withdrawal. When I had the seizure, I almost impaled myself through my eye socket on a wrought iron fence. Got an ambulance ride to ER with IV's in the arms, etc. Unless immediate medical attention is received, those seizures can kill, even if a wrought iron fence is not involved!!!
My story today is one of rebirth that I wouldn't trade for anything. I have been sober for 15 years now and know serenity, which is all I ever wanted in the first place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi and welcome Frank
I think a lot of us wish we'd quit in our 30s.
If you're bored - quit drinking - you'll find that so many other things make their way into your life you won't have time to be bored
D
I think a lot of us wish we'd quit in our 30s.
If you're bored - quit drinking - you'll find that so many other things make their way into your life you won't have time to be bored
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
This is the classic alcoholism progression. I also was 27 when I first started to question my drinking, and also thought to the extent "This isn't causing any problems, what's the big deal?" Fast forward into my 30's and the 6-8 a day drinking in my 20's, turned into 12-15, and I was neck deep in alcoholism with my life collapsing around me.
The seemingly "harmless fun" turned into a complete nightmare.
Getting out now will be the best decision of your life, believe me.
The seemingly "harmless fun" turned into a complete nightmare.
Getting out now will be the best decision of your life, believe me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 386
Welcome to SR, There would be no reason for you to be here if you didn't think drinking was an issue. I would say you have taken a right step to educate yourself and then decide. Alcohol is a progressive disease. I can profile almost like you at your age. I was almost there. As age progresses, S**t happens and you will resort to drinking more.
Don't wait until you hit bottom - like DUI or going to prison or health issue or relationship issue or something like that...
Take pro-active approach. Pick a date and try to stop for 90 days and see how you feel...but try to continue to be sober from there....
My 2 cents...Good luck...
Don't wait until you hit bottom - like DUI or going to prison or health issue or relationship issue or something like that...
Take pro-active approach. Pick a date and try to stop for 90 days and see how you feel...but try to continue to be sober from there....
My 2 cents...Good luck...
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
How do you go if your bring it down to just two things, control and choice?
When you start to drink, can you guarantee, every time, how much you will drink and when you will stop?
And, how sucessful have you been at making a choice to stop for, say, a year. Could you do that? Just stop and stay stopped, or would you be unable to quite entirely even if you tried your best.
Your truth around these two questions may clarify the picture for you.
Some people never lose control even though they drink a lot. The same people can stop if they have a good enough reason. But the real alcoholic, with hardly an exception will be absolutely unable to stop no matter how great the wish, and will lose control of the amount they take after taking the first drink.
When you start to drink, can you guarantee, every time, how much you will drink and when you will stop?
And, how sucessful have you been at making a choice to stop for, say, a year. Could you do that? Just stop and stay stopped, or would you be unable to quite entirely even if you tried your best.
Your truth around these two questions may clarify the picture for you.
Some people never lose control even though they drink a lot. The same people can stop if they have a good enough reason. But the real alcoholic, with hardly an exception will be absolutely unable to stop no matter how great the wish, and will lose control of the amount they take after taking the first drink.
Um Dia de Cada Vez
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
Could you go a month or maybe 3 without a single drink? Then perhaps you can realize how much you are in control of your drinking...
There's a study I read that people's alcohol intake only goes up as they age. I tried to quit for the first time when I was 25, it took me 6 years to go completely dry and I threw away a ton of career opportunities at that time.
There's a study I read that people's alcohol intake only goes up as they age. I tried to quit for the first time when I was 25, it took me 6 years to go completely dry and I threw away a ton of career opportunities at that time.
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