taplow

I've been drinking round the clock for a good few weeks now. Wake up, drink, and then carry on until I fall asleep.
This morning I was up at 4.00. I couldn't work out if it counted as night or day so I laid there doing nothing. I was waiting for morning so I could drink. It was light here so it was morning.
I wonder if you have the thing about planning the days drinks ahead. I will always look ahead and wonder how many I might need for the day. I always want to know that I'll have enough to get me through. Is this some sign that I might be an alcoholic that I calculate the drinks I'll need? The problem is that when I set the number I see it as a target and then feel that I've got to reach it.
I had blood test results the other day and my liver and kidneys are fine, but I shouldn't assume this is a green light. I'm surprised at that but that's a good sign.
It's very difficult to step out of this trap. I reckon I need some kind of life. Drinking is so boring. You can't do anything else but drink.
I need to be imprisoned. Drink is stupid. You need to get a distance so you can get a perspective on it.
My problem is that I know I can stop drinking but that after a short while I'll get all hyperactive and want to stop that feeling somehow.
Is there a sort of drug that will calm me down when I'm sober so that I don't go overboard? I start to feel good and then my reason fails and I see that it's not going to get any better on it's own.
Maybe a kind of drug of some kind that would subdue me might help me going back to drinking all the time.
Is there anything like that I could get?

doggonecarl

I certainly made sure I had enough drink on hand. But I think the surer sign of alcoholism is your struggle to get sober and stay sober.

Dee74

Welcome back

Sounds like a great question for your Dr, Taplow

I wonder though if thinking like that is not a way to put off action?

I'd try just not drinking and posting here regularly whilst not drinking.

It's worked for you in the past - and seems a lot more proactive and immediately achievable than some kind of pharmaceutical solution.

Get sober, then you can start working on the next phase - which is continuing to stay sober - and the phase beyond that of being happy about being sober.

D

Tonymblue

I always made sure to have enough to keep from withdrawing. I would ask your GP about some meds. I think it sure could help your situation. Stay strong.

taplow

It's not the withdrawing so much I'll have a period of sobriety and feel great and then I'll feel too great. I feel like I have to bring myself down. Or I suppose I'm expecting something great to happen to fit in with my sober self. Of course life is life.
I get hyperactive when I'm sober and these hyperactive moments seem to arrive sooner each time I give up.
Does anyone use particular drugs for this hyper- nonsense or is it particular to me?

BDTL

You might want to join a gym and get on a regular exercise routine. It does wonders for anxiety and your body will thank you.

BrandNewDay11

It's possible you have an undiagnosed condition like ADHD that you were partially self-medicating with alcohol. I agree with Dee to get sober first and foremost, and follow up with a Dr. to address the issues that may remain. Lots of us here have conditions that require medication but no medication will work the way it should if we keep drinking.

taplow

Something I've never done. Good idea. Get another addiction but a good one.

taplow

Thank you BrandNewDay. I can be sober, tomorrow's going to be my next target.
I don't know about ADHD. I thought it was a kid's thing. If it's part of what I naturally am I'm not sure I want to cure it.
I just need to calm myself down after a few sober days. Obviously heroin's out of the equation.

entropy1964

Taplow

I go through a 'manic' period after quitting drinking. This mania can be on and off for up to 6 months. I'm quite sure its my rather anesthetized brain trying to normalize. I get very bad anxiety during these times which I'm sure means I'm releasing epinephrine and all those up chemicals. Taking another drug to undo the damage alcohol has done to my neuro chemistry is just creating another problem. Exercise, sleep, mindful walking/hiking, eating right.

There is no quick fix for addiction and recovery. All of us who have quit have had to face this.

I know we are taught that if the liver checks out I'm all good. Wrong. Alcohol effects all systems of our body. It is a neuro toxin, it is a class 1 carcinogen. And when the liver oxidizes alcohol is releases acytelalahyde, which is also a C1 carcinogen. My father is a hard core alcoholic by any standards. Liver was and is fine. However he has dementia which for him is Wernikes....an alcoholism induced dementia due to long term vitamin B1 deficiency (something ALL drinkers suffer from in greater and lesser degrees because the liver uses B1 to oxidize alcohol). Its horrible and a real wake up call. The liver is probably the most heavily affected. But don't forget about the brain, the pancreas, the esophagus, the stomach, the colon and on and on. We all have an Achilles heal.

This isn't about how to keep drinking, its about how to stop. I know I couldn't stop until I accepted without a doubt that alcohol was not only killing me, but that it wasn't even providing any of the relief I kept desperately trying to prove it provided.

taplow

Brilliant post, thank you. If that doesn't make up my mind then nothing will.
The last paragraph especially resonates. Alcohol gives you nothing.

BrandNewDay11

ADHD is definitely not a kids thing, it starts in childhood and very often continues indefinitely. Lots of folks without knowledge and experience with it will say its an invented condition, I assure you its not. Medication doesn't change your personality it simply helps the brain to work in a more efficient way.

taplow

Sorry if I caused offence. I thought that ADHD was just a children's condition. I hear you say that the drugs will help my mind to work in a more efficient way. I still don't know though. Good or bad, I want to be myself.
I was just wondering about some kind of downer that might work for me that won't send me back on the drink.

BrandNewDay11

No offense taken at all. I'm not saying you have ADHD, I just mentioned it as a possibility. That's why its important to first get sober, and then see a professional to see if there is any previously undiagnosed condition that medication might help.

Wastinglife

I have suffered from ADHD for 42 years now. Only diagnosed at 35. Certainly not a childhod condition only.

tekink

Kids with ADD/ADHD grow up into adults with ADD/ADHD.

As for medication that's something you'd need to talk to a dr about as we are all different and medical advise isn't something we can give.