I'll quit Tomorrow....Maybe
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 303
I'll quit Tomorrow....Maybe
How many times have I said that and how many times did I push that promise one day further for good measure?
What I want to tell you in this post is embarrassing for me but it is posts like these that help others to stay clear of the sauce or I at least hope so.
I have been quitting alcohol for many years I would say probably a good decade. Most quits were for 3 to 4 months on average but my longest stint of abstinence from alcohol was last year for a total of 9 months. Lost a lot of weight (40lbs) and was feeling on top of the world. All it took was a good friend flying in town one night for me to pick up that budweiser for a boy's night out. Didn't think much about it because I'll just quit tomorrow and it will work this time.
Fast forward 15 months later and I of course progressed from budweiser to his older brother Jim Beam and I was hitting the sauce daily mixed with soda. I gained my 40lbs back with no problem and maybe a few extra and my blood pressure went from a calm 115/68 to a beautiful average 152/110 no matter what time of day it was. Much higher when I was drinking my Jimmy.
About a month ago I came home from work and decided to imbibe in my favorite after-work activity of drowning in bourbon. My wife was out of state on business so it seemed like a good idea at the time. I woke up the next morning thankfully in my bed when my alarm went off and got ready for work. I looked at the empty Jim Beam bottle on the kitchen counter and realized I drank almost a full half gallon of bourbon. The bottle was 3/4 full when I started.
I felt horrible as usual but I felt weird in a bad way. Hard to explain the feeling but I just did not feel well. I hydrated throughout the day like a pro but no matter how much water I drank I felt bad. My stomach hurt starting with a small ache and by afternoon a much stronger ache. I came home and surprisingly decided to take a break from my Jimmy that night. Go figure it takes physical pain to pull us away from the bottle. By this time my stomach was fully inflamed and hurting but I have always been the guy that ignores the pain and hopes it will go away eventually because remember I am a professional drinker and my body always recovers. I took a large dose of Pepto Bismol and some melatonin and prayed for sleep that night.
The next morning I awoke with stomach pains with the same intensity. I decided to go to work and spent the day chugging Pepto and in severe pain. I ended leaving work early and came home and still had no relief. I talked with wife on the phone because she was flying home that evening and I was supposed to pick her up from the airport. I told her about my chronic stomach pain and she recommended I go to the ER just to be sure that everything was alright. I objected to the idea but eventually agreed.
I went to the ER very embarrassed because I certainly did not think a belly ache was any reason to be at the ER and these people had bigger ailments to deal with. I received the standard ER protocol with the IV and I spoke to the Dr. about my belly ache. Of course I received the "You gotta be kidding me" look from the Dr. but he ran multiple blood tests, stomach, gall bladder and liver ultra sounds and CT scans. I sat in the room for about 3 hours in my hospital gown glancing at my watch because I had to pick up my wife in a couple of hours. The Dr. came in and he said that according to my blood test and the ultr-sound that I was suffering from pancreantitus. My pancreas was overstressed and dumping enzymes into my stomach causing the severe pain. He said everything else looks ok but that he was going to be transferring me into the city by ambulance to the big hospital for a couple of days. The Dr. said that pancreantitus is caused either by drinking heavily or gallstones and my tests came back negative for gallstones..The Dr. asked me if I wanted anything for pain but I declined anything as I felt I did this to myself so I can sit and deal with the pain. Dr walked out of the room.
My heart dropped. I finally did it to myself. I drank myself broke. I pushed that tomorrow quit day off so many times that tomorrow was now. I had tears welting in my eyes and I have never felt so vulnerable and weak in my life. I called my adult son and asked him if he could pick up his mother at the airport as I was not going to make it due to a meeting. He happily agreed. I called my wife as I waited for the ambulance to come get me. I told her what happened trying not to scare her but of course she started crying with worry.
The ambulance finally came after 5 hours of waiting and took me to the big city hospital 30 minutes away. I felt so embarassed as the ambulance drivers seemed irritated that they had to drive me and my belly ache all the way to the city hospital. Maybe they weren't but that is how I interpreted it. I arrived in the hospital and spent the next 3 days in agonizing pain. The nurses would pump me full morphine every 3 hours which seemed to **** off my belly ache even more. Finally after 3 days of not eating anything and receiving 8 full bags of IV fluids. I was released from the hospital to my family who was waiting anxiously to take me home.
Now a month later from that incident I am alcohol free not by choice but by necessity. I still can't eat solid food as it will agitate my stomach so my wife makes me protein shakes and soups. I had a Klondike ice cream bar tonight after my soup dinner and it upset my stomach pretty bad so I guess those are off the menu too. It is said that once you suffer from pancreantitus you will suffer for the rest of your life with it not to mention you are more susceptible to diabetes and pancreatic cancer.
I'll quit tomorrow...maybe or maybe tomorrow is now. Take it from me, make tomorrow now.
Hope this helps someone out there struggling.
What I want to tell you in this post is embarrassing for me but it is posts like these that help others to stay clear of the sauce or I at least hope so.
I have been quitting alcohol for many years I would say probably a good decade. Most quits were for 3 to 4 months on average but my longest stint of abstinence from alcohol was last year for a total of 9 months. Lost a lot of weight (40lbs) and was feeling on top of the world. All it took was a good friend flying in town one night for me to pick up that budweiser for a boy's night out. Didn't think much about it because I'll just quit tomorrow and it will work this time.
Fast forward 15 months later and I of course progressed from budweiser to his older brother Jim Beam and I was hitting the sauce daily mixed with soda. I gained my 40lbs back with no problem and maybe a few extra and my blood pressure went from a calm 115/68 to a beautiful average 152/110 no matter what time of day it was. Much higher when I was drinking my Jimmy.
About a month ago I came home from work and decided to imbibe in my favorite after-work activity of drowning in bourbon. My wife was out of state on business so it seemed like a good idea at the time. I woke up the next morning thankfully in my bed when my alarm went off and got ready for work. I looked at the empty Jim Beam bottle on the kitchen counter and realized I drank almost a full half gallon of bourbon. The bottle was 3/4 full when I started.
I felt horrible as usual but I felt weird in a bad way. Hard to explain the feeling but I just did not feel well. I hydrated throughout the day like a pro but no matter how much water I drank I felt bad. My stomach hurt starting with a small ache and by afternoon a much stronger ache. I came home and surprisingly decided to take a break from my Jimmy that night. Go figure it takes physical pain to pull us away from the bottle. By this time my stomach was fully inflamed and hurting but I have always been the guy that ignores the pain and hopes it will go away eventually because remember I am a professional drinker and my body always recovers. I took a large dose of Pepto Bismol and some melatonin and prayed for sleep that night.
The next morning I awoke with stomach pains with the same intensity. I decided to go to work and spent the day chugging Pepto and in severe pain. I ended leaving work early and came home and still had no relief. I talked with wife on the phone because she was flying home that evening and I was supposed to pick her up from the airport. I told her about my chronic stomach pain and she recommended I go to the ER just to be sure that everything was alright. I objected to the idea but eventually agreed.
I went to the ER very embarrassed because I certainly did not think a belly ache was any reason to be at the ER and these people had bigger ailments to deal with. I received the standard ER protocol with the IV and I spoke to the Dr. about my belly ache. Of course I received the "You gotta be kidding me" look from the Dr. but he ran multiple blood tests, stomach, gall bladder and liver ultra sounds and CT scans. I sat in the room for about 3 hours in my hospital gown glancing at my watch because I had to pick up my wife in a couple of hours. The Dr. came in and he said that according to my blood test and the ultr-sound that I was suffering from pancreantitus. My pancreas was overstressed and dumping enzymes into my stomach causing the severe pain. He said everything else looks ok but that he was going to be transferring me into the city by ambulance to the big hospital for a couple of days. The Dr. said that pancreantitus is caused either by drinking heavily or gallstones and my tests came back negative for gallstones..The Dr. asked me if I wanted anything for pain but I declined anything as I felt I did this to myself so I can sit and deal with the pain. Dr walked out of the room.
My heart dropped. I finally did it to myself. I drank myself broke. I pushed that tomorrow quit day off so many times that tomorrow was now. I had tears welting in my eyes and I have never felt so vulnerable and weak in my life. I called my adult son and asked him if he could pick up his mother at the airport as I was not going to make it due to a meeting. He happily agreed. I called my wife as I waited for the ambulance to come get me. I told her what happened trying not to scare her but of course she started crying with worry.
The ambulance finally came after 5 hours of waiting and took me to the big city hospital 30 minutes away. I felt so embarassed as the ambulance drivers seemed irritated that they had to drive me and my belly ache all the way to the city hospital. Maybe they weren't but that is how I interpreted it. I arrived in the hospital and spent the next 3 days in agonizing pain. The nurses would pump me full morphine every 3 hours which seemed to **** off my belly ache even more. Finally after 3 days of not eating anything and receiving 8 full bags of IV fluids. I was released from the hospital to my family who was waiting anxiously to take me home.
Now a month later from that incident I am alcohol free not by choice but by necessity. I still can't eat solid food as it will agitate my stomach so my wife makes me protein shakes and soups. I had a Klondike ice cream bar tonight after my soup dinner and it upset my stomach pretty bad so I guess those are off the menu too. It is said that once you suffer from pancreantitus you will suffer for the rest of your life with it not to mention you are more susceptible to diabetes and pancreatic cancer.
I'll quit tomorrow...maybe or maybe tomorrow is now. Take it from me, make tomorrow now.
Hope this helps someone out there struggling.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,915
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure someone will see themselves in what you wrote and, hopefully, decide not to drink today.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you are feeling better soon.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
I hope your pain subsides soon and maybe with sustained sobriety Klondike bars can go back on the menu eventually! Or the dairy free version...
I have a friend who's my age, just around 30 and I've visited her in the hospital 3 times for pancreatitis. 4 or 5 DUIs. She still drinks when she gets out of the hospital. Breaks my heart. I know she won't be around til 40 unless she changes. I'm glad you are making those changes, even if it's out of necessity. Better than death or a live left unfulfilled.
I have a friend who's my age, just around 30 and I've visited her in the hospital 3 times for pancreatitis. 4 or 5 DUIs. She still drinks when she gets out of the hospital. Breaks my heart. I know she won't be around til 40 unless she changes. I'm glad you are making those changes, even if it's out of necessity. Better than death or a live left unfulfilled.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Jophn
I'm sorry for what brings you here but its good to see you made it back.
I just wanted to say I had a variety of stomach issues as a drinker including pancreatitis , gastritis, diverticulitis, IBS....
All are phenomenally better now I'm sober.
D
I'm sorry for what brings you here but its good to see you made it back.
I just wanted to say I had a variety of stomach issues as a drinker including pancreatitis , gastritis, diverticulitis, IBS....
All are phenomenally better now I'm sober.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi John,
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am very glad you are home and sober, and recovering. As scary as this was, maybe it was what you needed to truly stick to sobriety.
I know it's not easy, I joined in 2012 as well, and my last drink was 12-31-15. Life hasn't always been easy the past 2.5 years, but it has been so much better.
Looking forward to hearing all about your journey.❤️
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am very glad you are home and sober, and recovering. As scary as this was, maybe it was what you needed to truly stick to sobriety.
I know it's not easy, I joined in 2012 as well, and my last drink was 12-31-15. Life hasn't always been easy the past 2.5 years, but it has been so much better.
Looking forward to hearing all about your journey.❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 104
John, my heart dropped reading your story. I am so glad that you made it through that painful ordeal. I hope that your body continues to heal so that you can enjoy time with your wonderful family. Thank you for reminding us how important it is to stay vigilant. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Terrifying. We never think it's really gonna happen to us. Thank you for shaking us out of that delusion.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Just FYI, my cousin ended up in the ICU at 41 years old of cirrhosis of the liver and CHF. They didn't think she would survive. She was in a coma for the first 3 days. She went home and stayed in bed for months. Too weak to get up without help from her husband. She never touched another drop. She's 4 years sober and in good health. Her Docs tell her that they've never seen such a remarkable recovery. One actually said it was kind of a miracle.
It's absolutely incredible what our bodies can overcome if we just give it enough rest and stop poisoning it.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Just FYI, my cousin ended up in the ICU at 41 years old of cirrhosis of the liver and CHF. They didn't think she would survive. She was in a coma for the first 3 days. She went home and stayed in bed for months. Too weak to get up without help from her husband. She never touched another drop. She's 4 years sober and in good health. Her Docs tell her that they've never seen such a remarkable recovery. One actually said it was kind of a miracle.
It's absolutely incredible what our bodies can overcome if we just give it enough rest and stop poisoning it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Thank you for sharing this story. It is the truth that we are always looking for one more drink, drunk or time. Tomorrow is always the solution.
It makes me realize it isn’t worth it.
I hope you continue to heal and feel better as your sober days add up. Thanks again.
It makes me realize it isn’t worth it.
I hope you continue to heal and feel better as your sober days add up. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
Great post and very well written.
The worst part of this disease is the tugging and pulling we all do every day........stop today or stop tommorow ?
Its always tommorow and tommorow never comes.
Your post has shown very clearly that when tommorow does come crashing down on us we will probably all wish that we had quit on one of the very many yesterdays.
Wishing you good health moving forward.
C
The worst part of this disease is the tugging and pulling we all do every day........stop today or stop tommorow ?
Its always tommorow and tommorow never comes.
Your post has shown very clearly that when tommorow does come crashing down on us we will probably all wish that we had quit on one of the very many yesterdays.
Wishing you good health moving forward.
C
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Thank you for sharing soberjohn. This is a sobering story (no pun intended). It is amazing the amount of damage we can inflict on ourselves when we drink the way we did. I hope you stay strong and start to feel better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 303
Thank you all for the heart-warming responses. I am doing well and after a month sober feel right in the head although the body will take some time.
The scary thing for me is the little voice in my head that tells me that this stuff will never happen to me. Case in point I was active on another sobriety website a few years ago quitting for my average 3 or 4 months at a time and I remember there was a post from a gentlemen discussing his pancreatic attack and the horrors he went through. In that moment and in my delusional head I was mortified but the little voice said, "This guy is probably well into his 50s and 60s after years of drinking." "That will never happen to you as you are young and have way too much time to make it right."
Now here I am in my early 40s posting my shameful pancreatic attack story on a sobriety site. If I could be thankful for one thing it is the fact that this has changed my whole thought process of drinking and the damage we do to ourselves day in and day out. A death of a thousand cuts that sneaks up on you in your early forties to remind you of your mortality and if I wish to live to see my early 50s I had better take notice lest live a life of pain and shame.
Now I know some 20 or 30 something member will be reading this and think, "Holy cow! This guy is in his 40s. I got plenty of time before I get that far into this drinking thing." Well I can tell you that this pancreatic attack in my 40s was my own chapter turn and everyone else has their very own chapter turn already written in their bodies. You can suffer from this in your 20s, 30s or any age it just depends on you.
Thanks again for all the responses. I wish you all well in your journey and I'll hang around for awhile.
The scary thing for me is the little voice in my head that tells me that this stuff will never happen to me. Case in point I was active on another sobriety website a few years ago quitting for my average 3 or 4 months at a time and I remember there was a post from a gentlemen discussing his pancreatic attack and the horrors he went through. In that moment and in my delusional head I was mortified but the little voice said, "This guy is probably well into his 50s and 60s after years of drinking." "That will never happen to you as you are young and have way too much time to make it right."
Now here I am in my early 40s posting my shameful pancreatic attack story on a sobriety site. If I could be thankful for one thing it is the fact that this has changed my whole thought process of drinking and the damage we do to ourselves day in and day out. A death of a thousand cuts that sneaks up on you in your early forties to remind you of your mortality and if I wish to live to see my early 50s I had better take notice lest live a life of pain and shame.
Now I know some 20 or 30 something member will be reading this and think, "Holy cow! This guy is in his 40s. I got plenty of time before I get that far into this drinking thing." Well I can tell you that this pancreatic attack in my 40s was my own chapter turn and everyone else has their very own chapter turn already written in their bodies. You can suffer from this in your 20s, 30s or any age it just depends on you.
Thanks again for all the responses. I wish you all well in your journey and I'll hang around for awhile.
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