Dean1978

Recently I ended up drinking after over 2 years sober, the first week post stupidity I was fine but second week I am back drinking everyday.

Please dont let my stupidity be your own downfall. 1 drink will not be "ok" neither will "10 and a new tomorrow".

I have to pick myself up, crawl out of the depressive state alcohol sits over you and try and move on. I will get there, again, slowly but surely.

I am sad, very sad, days like this I miss my mum more than ever as I have let her down. I am angry at myself but if 1 person reads this and realises that 1 drink isnt worth it then I will be happy. Dont be me, be you and be happy, alcohol isn't worth it. Be kind to each other.

Chase01

Thank you Dean. Keep your head up. You are back here, and you realise your mistake. Back to sobriety. There is no judgment here, only understanding.

Hawkeye13

Hi Dean;
I've had some backslides myself and although it's hard to get started, you have an advantage in that you know the "path" of sobriety and have two years, which you haven't lost.

Please don't beat yourself up-pick yourself up instead and move forward again.
Your mum will be proud of you for not quitting quitting.

You can do this

VigilanceNow

Thank you for sharing this. It’s a reminder we all need, no matter how long one has been sober. I’ve done it so many times... felt great, stable, hopeful... then watched it all disappear into a bottle . I know the vicious cycle so well; my AV convinces me that I can do it in moderation, even though time and time again it turns into 3 days later and I can’t remember what I did or how I even got the booze. The cycle can end today though.

Even if you’ve had a bit to drink, see if you can get to a meeting. If you need detox help, for sure do that first. No one will judge you! Sounds like you need some more changes; make them happen �� it all starts with you!

MantaLady

Sorry to hear that Dean, but pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. No point in being angry at yourself as the AV is going to ride the back of that emotion and try and keep you down with it. Let it go and think positive x

I have been having a really tough day, my AV has been trying to get me to have a little shot of spirits "well it's not really drinking is it, just the one really won't hurt" and so on. Your post has definately helped me today, so thank you and be kind to yourself too!! xx

badgerden

Thank you for this post Dean, perfect timing for me. I will remember.

Badge

Dean1978

Manta you are worth more than any shot, you have come far. "one is never enough" Dont listen to it. Be strong

thankful61

When I let my guard down, it all starts out like normal, no big deal. But yes,before I know it I'm drinking heavily every night, not sleeping, grinding myself down over a few weeks of this until I'm completely depressed and isolated. Then I stop, then the cycle begins again. My confidence and ability to be productive are shot to pieces. Thanks for your post, I am so sick of this.

Forward12

Are clean now? If so, take it as a learning experience. This is the ultimate AV trick from a few days sober to years out that "You are ok now, you can have "just a couple"
Don't beat yourself up, you had solid sobriety in action before, and you can do it again!

Rar

I feel your sadness and your anguish, Dean. Keep your head up and crawl out from the despair. You can do it again. We're with you.

lessgravity

Dean - thank you for sharing. That's a terrific amount of time sober - I'm sure you learned much that you can use getting back on the horse now.

Dustitoffman

Hi Dean

You will not have let your mum down with the 2 years sober she would be proud of your sober achievement so far.

You have made a mistake. We all make them cos we're only human after all.

Please don't waste any time drinking throw it out and continue your sober journey. ASAP

Hevyn

Thanks for a valuable post, Dean. I did the same thing after 3 yrs. & was gone for a long time. A miserable lesson to have to learn - but you are back, with plans to proceed with your sober life.

Dee74

Dean for what its worth I don't think you've let your mum down - you have a long history of sobriety behind you. You turned your life around...

You just made a mistake, man

D